IM WITH THE PACIFIC CHAPTER OF THE ILLUMINATI - ASK ME TWO QUESTIONS

I'M LOCATED 7 DEGREES ABOVE THE EQUATOR. MY UNCLE CALLS ON THE PHONE AND TELLS ME TO TAKE TOMATO PLANTS INDOORS.

THE PROBLEM IN UKRAINE WAS ENGINEERED BY SUBWAY SAMMICH FRANCHISES OWNED BY THE PACIFIC CHAPTER OF THE ILLUMINATI (THE GUYS BEHIND THE EARTH'S SPIN).

WE'RE IN CHARGE OF MAKING THE EARTH SPIN NATURALLY. DUE TO THE EARTH'S AXIS TILT, WE HAVE COUNTERWEIGHTS INSTALLED HERE 7 DEGREES ABOVE THE EQUATOR TO MAKE SURE THE EARTH DOESN'T TIP OVER AND ROLLS AWAY INTO DEEP SPACE.

SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS AGO, OUR ANCESTORS LANDED ON THE MOON AND CUT DOWN ALL THE TREES TO USE AS FIREWOOD WHEN THE EARTH WAS FROZEN.

WHEN THE FIRST EUROPEANS ARRIVED ON OUR BEACHES, WE HELD THE FIRST WET T-SHIRT AND BIKINI CONTEST UNDER COCONUT TREES.

WE GAVE GANJA (CANNABIS) OR MARIJUANA TO AN INDIAN YOGI NAMED SIDDARTHA (POPULARLY KNOWN AS "THE BUDDAH") THE ORIGIN OF HIS NAME "BUDDAH" COMES FROM THE ANCIENT MICRONESIAN WORD FOR "BUDS" (THE ICKY STICKY KIND).