Was I being unselfish (relationship question)?

'Sending' a message like that is always selfish. Designed to avoid fallout.

I was expressing my true feelings. Can you explain how it's selfish?

You have to understand, this other person and I have no other means of communication but private messages. A phone call or face to face communication was not possible.

Uh, so they're a GLPer?

Another forum.

You're not just selfish, you're lazy and a quitter.
Plus you're a depressed whiner.
You suck.

Try a reciprocating saw.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Can you defend any of those allegations with arguments?

I'd have avoided dressing the goodbye in your perceived virtues, but whatever, doesn't sound like there was much to the relationship.

Yes. Go see a shrink.

Great points all around.

I used perfect logic. Any level-headed person can see that. There is nothing in the slightest that points to any mental problems there.

I said go see a shrink. I didn't say you have mental problems. This is an unfair situation that will eventually fail. So, it's unselfish of me to try and end it ASAP to save us both time and trouble. I hope you understand. Goodbye.

And the Vulcan approach to "love" (or anything like it) scares a lot of people and makes them want to attack you.

Sometimes it's necessary though. Such as in this case, I just saved myself and the other person a lot of time and energy.

If I wanted to be selfish I could have used them a lot and for a long time. But, I'm not selfish so I chose the path that was best for both parties.

It IS an unfair situation because you don't want to have a fair debate, you just want to tell me "how it is."

So, you've done the right thing, thank you.

Your message to her sounds very self-centered. It is all about you and how unselfish you think you are. Do you realize not one single thing in that message said anything about the person you were breaking up with?

I see what you mean. That was one part of one PM, taken out of context.

I only included it here because it contained my argument in full.

But you're claim:

Do you realize not one single thing in that message said anything about the person you were breaking up with?

Is not true. Look at the words in red below:

I owe you a lot but I couldn't reciprocate. The fact that I wanted to bail on this proves that I wasn't only in it for myself.

It's very unselfish of me to realize:

If I can't reciprocate what you're giving me then it's an unfair situation that will eventually fail. So, it's unselfish of me to try and end it ASAP to save us both time and trouble.

That's proof that I wasn't being selfish here.

The fact that the word "you" shows up in a bunch of sentences starting with "I" doesn't mean that you are talking about the other person. It comes across as a whole that you only care about how YOU are perceived. It seems as if you only care about being seen as unselfish. I don't know if that is true, but that is how it seems with the way you wrote it.

If you don't mind is, are you a man or a woman?

Because, is this how women analyze writings for intent?

If so, I never saw THAT coming!

I am a woman. But I think what I am saying has nothing to do with whether I am a man or a woman. What you wrote seems very one-sided. Why do you keep repeating the fact that you are unselfish? Did someone call you selfish??

Yes. This other person had the GAUL to call me selfish.

I gave up a lot to do what was best for both of us.

Selfish? Unreal!

If its a so called relationship, you should be using more heart than logic my good fellow

Agreed ^^^....don't kid yourself OP, anyone can see right through that bs....

Sometimes I'm like that.

But, anyone that does that all the time is going to make a lot of mistakes.

First off who sends letter/msg like that? Secondly how may times did you say you were being unselfish? Honestly, the fact you throw that Unselfish word around makes you sound either completely selfish or crazy.

Either way why do you want GLP to give you validation? A mature person NEEDS NO VALIDATION. Your relationship was either good or not, you either had feelings or not! Did you ever meet this person in real life?

Leave the guy alone, you broke it off now move on. I would be willing to bet though that you will lead him on, give him a ray of hope and play games with his head. There is no doubt you are SELFISH!

Agreed that your message about being unselfish makes you sound selfish.

This thread is supposed to be more like a jury trial.

Because I'm not looking for validation. I want to know if I was right or wrong in my opinions/actions because I honestly don't know. I want to learn and grow, you see what I mean?

I don't care how it sounds as much as I care about the underlying logic. Was I right or wrong?