"Do you know were i can purchase some rolling papers"

So, about ten years ago, Hippy John and the late, departed Humpy were moving some Cannabis plants. They were so drunk that they just put the plants in the back of John's pickup truck, not even a paper bag over them, and down the road they go.

So, they get pulled over by the Police Chief, John freaks, and Humpy leans out the window and says to the Chief: "got any papers?" I'm told the Chief laughed so hard that he dropped his ticket book.

Another is the following. I once got busted for public intoxication in Portland Oregon. So, I say "Fuck you, ya fuckin' pigs". They beat the crap out of me and left me on the sidewalk. No ticket, though. I've never spoken to a policeman like that since.

Ever since, it's been "Yes Officer", "No Officer", and "I'd like to speak to my attorney, Officer". BTW: don't ever say anything else, and admit to nothing.

It really helps to be polite. Take my word for it.