People Who've Gone No Contact With Family. Need Help.

Let me start off by saying I am in fact a young adult, and have figured out what I want early in life. Im expecting my first child with my fiance this month, and we are getting married next year. We are financially stable, cars home and property paid for, etc.

I grew up in a very very dysfunctional family (who didn't). I was abused physically and psychologically and it mindf***ed me in the worst way. Ive had so much cognitive dissonance because of it and I want it to end. My mother, married 3 times is states away and i never got to meet her side of the family so they're already out of the picture. My father and his family are the only ones near. After I got out on my own, and with lots of prayer and self-change, I realized just how abusive and toxic those people were. I cut off my fathers parents and everyone else because of the mindgames, gossip, manipulation, and controlling techniques to gain information about and control every aspect of my life. My father is bipolar and schizophrenic (medicated) and our relationship is veryyyyy difficult.

My father was abused severely as a child but has allowed it to this day to continue at the hands of his mother and father. Im very sorry he dealt with that, but you would think that he would want to change the cycle for his children. He is miserable, overweight, and very controlling. Whenever im with him he constantly asks how much money my fiances making, how much we paid for this and that, where we going, who were with, etc. I mean i feel like im being interrogated around him. I also have made it clear that i desire no relationship with his parents at this point in my life as they were very emotionally abusive aswell and couldn't respect my boundaries. I have tried telling him our finances are none of his business and me and my fiance want our privacy, and also to stop triangulation games with me and his parents, to which im told im starting "immature" drama.

Everytime im with my father i can feel the hate coming from him. He constantly condescends me, gives me the silent treatment, brings up his divorce which happened years ago in attempts to bring me down and guilt me, and his newest tactic is attempting to get me to eat unhealthy at every opportunity so ill be overweight like him. My father is very immature and expects me to baby him emotionally, yet is never there for me emotionally, or physically. When i was in the hospital with a hurt back and couldn't move, he got angry at me for using my insurance... long story short it was ridiculous. He has no sympathy for me as a daughter and has never taken my side on anything. He constantly trys to sift information from me and my fiance just to go back to his parents and share it. Im so tired of his mindgames. Ive tried going no contact just for him to come back, pretending to be nice again and then it all goes to hell. Its a sick cycle and im tired of being baited.

Im at the point where i feel i need to go no contact with my father aswell. Im tided of being talked down to as if im a baby, lied about, and abused. The list of his tactics goes on and on but his theology is that since he was abused as a child, its okay for him to blame me and treat me badly. Im so happy i see the cycle and have broken it. I could never ever ever treat my son the way i was treated. I want ro protect my son in every way possible so he never has to go through the lies i went through. My father and his family are truly miserable and try every way to dull my shine. They dont like that im the truthteller in the family and have broken out of the abuse.

My fiance also works at the same job as my father so hes looking for a new job. My fiance, with good intentions, attempted to fix mine and my fathers relationship last time i tried to go no contact. Upon seeing my dad again, he was charming, and happy to see me and his soon to be grandchild. I thought everything was changed and all would be well, but again i proved to be a fool as the cycle has repeated.

And before you say to talk things out with my father, i have tried MANY times. He takes NO RESPONSIBILITY WHATSOEVER and manages to blame and project me. I have no problem owning up to my.mistakes but he simply doesnt respect boundaries. If im not.talking to my father, he goes to my fiance. Slowly my fiance is realizing how my dad is but i really want us to have absolutely no contact. Its very stressful.... im having my first child, and getting married next year. The fact rhat i wont have much family there ks so hard. But in my heart i feel i will never have a healthy life unless i go no contact.

Guys, how do i stick with no contact??? I try to remember the reasons why i made that decision when i feel like giving in but i always go back to him, knowing he doesn't feel any real love for me as his daughter. I feel screwed up mentally because of him and want to move on. God in heaven is my only father at this point and he has guided me wonderfully at this point.