My grandfather showed me a candle with notches in it to tell the time.

I said "What do you call it ?
"Why, that's a poofters alarm clock of course !"
My eyes full of confusion

"Ya just shove it in to the "6",
light the wick, & you'll always wake up at the right time.
You can betchya ma boy !" he exclaimed loudly for all to hear.