In honor of easter! Offensive jesus jokes! Post em now before the cristers take the thread over!

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together
, eats turkey, and are thankful."

"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter

"How does Jesus masturbate?"

[Mime: place the palm of your hand over your groin, then move your hand away from and towards yourself, as if you were using the hole through your palm.]

a question for the SCREWED UP MODERATORS here.

if this thread was about Mohammad, it would have been deleted. YOU KNOW IT AND WE KNOW IT.

GLP is not Godlike , it is twistlike.

sick, sick people.

wow.

you folks making these jokes are sick puppies.

whether or not Jesus Christ is the son of God, a prophet , or just a man that was hyped up by cult followers 2000 yrs ago...

to make light of any religious figure with such disdain only demonstrates your insecurity, warped sickness, and general anger.

There were three muslims and Muhammed on a plane one night...Muhammed asked each one a simple question...how do we get to heaven? (Stay tuned, rest of joke in about ten minutes.)

"Why can't jesus eat m&m's?"

They fall through his hands!


Took the day off from whoring huh!

thanks for the good laughs OP; enjoyed it
ignore the primitive and retarded haters