WHY HASN'T CALIFORNIA BEEN HIT WITH A GINORMOUS EARTHQUAKE YET

WHY HAVEN'T WE ALL DIED FROM EBOLA HEMORAGGHIC SWINE AVIAN FLU YET

WHY HAVEN'T WE BEEN HIT WITH AN EMP-PRODUCING CORONAL MASS EJECTION YET

WHY HASN'T THE ECONOMY COLLAPSED YET IN EVEN THE TINIEST OF COUNTRIES

WHY HASN'T IRAN HIT ISRAEL HIT NORTH KOREA HIT CHINA HIT GEORGIA HIT SOUTH KOREA HIT TAIWAN HIT ANYBODY YET

WHY HASN'T YELLOWSTONE ERUPTED YET

WHY HASN'T SOME FUCKING BRAIN CLOUD FROM OUTER SPACE DESTROYED OUR SUN YET

WHY HASN'T PLANET XXX CAUSED AN AVALANCHE IN MY HEAD YET

WHY DOESN'T GOD TALK TO ME

WHY HAVE I NOT ASCENDED

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GOD DAMMIT TO HELL I HATE YOU GLP AND ALL YOU GODDAMN DOOM FUCKERS YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE

oh, there's my caps lock