Bigfoot Mating Season Underway In Florida Everglades

OCHOPEE, Fla. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Bigfoot mating season is underway in the Florida Everglades and the furry, horny creature is out for blood.

Dave Shealy, an RV park owner in Ochopee, Florida, is the leading researcher of the Skunk Ape, Bigfoot’s “smaller, smellier cousin.”

He says there are seven to nine Skunk Apes currently living in the Everglades and right now is the best time to spot one because it’s their mating season.

Lately, he’s heard lots of campers report strange sounds coming from the swamps. He figures it’s the Skunk Ape’s mating call, which sounds like a low-pitched dove cooing.

Though Skunk Apes are generally shy, Shealy says women on their periods should be careful when hiking the area because the cryptoids are attracted to the scent of menstruation.

They’re also aroused by used lingerie, so female campers shouldn’t hang their panties out to dry because, in his words, “That’s like raising a flag and inviting them in.”

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