Immature men insist on being more successful than their women. Immature women insist their men must make more money than them.
Sounds like a match to me, let them have each other!
But not everyone is wired this way.
My wife (since 20+ years) is way more successful than me, bringing in way more money. She is a strong-willed organizer, a wise leader, has EXCEPTIONAL creativity, and an almost infinite energy supply. All this without detracting from her soft feminine qualities. I've never seen her match. She's quite a formidable woman, a real catch by anyone's measure! Escpecially since she looks fine for her age too, and always dresses well.
In contrast, I'm nothing but a "loser" by the usual societal standards. I lack the drive and ambition to rise to the top, or to finish any of my myriad little projects. For all outward appearance, I'm a slacker. I shave every second or third day when I take a shower, because I can't be bothered to do it every day. I sit by my computer in my underpants.
And yet, to her, I was a catch too! I have personal qualities she enjoys, one of them being copious amounts of intelligence and personal integrity, another being the fact I DON'T care much about worldly things. She cares enough for the both of us, and the last thing she needs in her life is someone to argue with about how things should be done. In our house-hold, SHE decides what we're having for dinner, and who's gonna cook it (usually me, but sometimes she feel like doing it herself).
She does need a man in whose arms she can feel like a woman though. She also needs a man who can match her in intellect and understanding. She needs someone who always has time for her, and who can COMMUNICATE, verbally and emotionally.
So to you OP, I'd like to ask this:
Men fear you for being "a better provider". Fine, they're being immature, and it's their loss. But do YOU also fear men who are worse "providers" than you? Are you ready to find love with a man who earns LESS money than you?
If your answer is no, that could be why you haven't found a good man: you're looking straight past him, because you can't accept anything other than the guys who can't accept you. This is the typical feminist trap, the reason feminists can't find an "evolved" man: they're not sufficiently evolved themselves, and are still holding on to THEIR part of the old intersexual patterns.
They want to be independent and make a million bucks, and then they expect to marry a guy that makes two.
And then they expect him to do the dishes.
Sorry, not happening.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 300884Your description of your wife, sounds very much like myself.
In all honesty, the men I've married, or dated...98% of them are not 'professional types", or 'financially wealthy'
I have nothing in common with them, because they are so wrapped up in 'aquireing things"...and that's really unimportant to me.
It's really difficult for a professional type to be in a relationship with a free Spirited person.
I don't go out with materially wealthy men, because I'm not a material person.
I'm not out there succeeding , doing what I do for money...it's just out of the sheer love of it, something inside me I was born with, and I'm just not happy doing anything else....the money it brings, is just a side effect/result of that .
The wealthy men I've gone out with over the years, have all had 'control' issues...or they think they can 'buy your love and loyalty with 'stuff'.
I prefer ordinary guys.....my first husband was a Glazer, put giant tempered glass windows in skyscrapers...
My wife worked in the sign industry with me....
My second husband is the only 'office worker' I've ever seriously dated, and he worked as a fraud Investigator for Bank of America.
The last guy I've dated for the past 5 years, off and on again, was a "greenskeeper' at some of the major golf courses around town, and he also did groundskeeping work for Cemetaries....worked for the Public Parks system.
It's more than just the money thing that intimidates men, about me.
It's also my strength.
I'm not talking physical strength, ( although, because of my work, I have been stronger than some of the men I've gone out with)...it's an inner strength, the kind where if I get knocked down, I don't sit and cry about it...I get back up, and keep going.
If there is some huge emotional crisis happening...I don't fall to pieces...I deal with the situation in a calm manner, until the crisis passes.
If I know I'm right, I will not give in, give up, or can't be broken.
Even if I'm hurt, you'll never see it the majority of the time.
You may see my anger at someone acting like an asshole, but I won't crumble, and cry about it.
If times are hard, and bills need to be paid, or the plumbing needs to be fixed....I don't freak out, I just go hustle up some more work to cover it..
This inner strength to 'not give up in the face of adversity...is very intimidating to a lot of people.
But it is this inner strength that has kept me plugging away at this art thing in the face of so many people that have said, 'you'll never be able to make a living with your art'...my entire life.
In my heart, I know it's what I was born to do...so I refuse to 'give up'
Strength dosen't mean 'domination of others'...it really dosen't even figure into what I've been talking about on here.
I know there was another poster that spoke of being a 'puppet'....to me, that's not a 'strong woman', that's a controling person...whole differant animal .
The strength I'm talking about, has nothing to do with how I treat other people, it is part of my 'character', the basic makeup of who I am.
I have no desire to control anyone, I have my hands full enough just trying to handle my own affairs/business/life...without having to try and keep track of, and make sure another person is doing "what I told them to do".
Their lives are their own, and I don't interfere with theirs...they know their hearts, what they want to do, what they enjoy doing.
The only time what they are doing comes into consideration in my life...is if it directly affects me, and our relationship.
