Praying for you, praying you realize your choices suck but so many of us at your age did really really stupid things we regret. Please don't destroy your family even thinking of suicide you won't be around to see the pain they will endure. I have had two friends over my life time whos lost family members due to suicide, what a horrid thing to do to those who love you, the pain the guilt the wondering why they didn't see the signs to help their loved one.. its very very painful and it goes with them for the rest of their lives. So if you love your family you will face your errors, pay your dues, set your self on a course of life which is positive.

Remember your not alone, never ever alone Jesus is at your side, your not junk nor trash your a very special human being there is only one of you in six billion people. All people are special and need to realize just that, live thier lives accordingly.