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Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 5159582 Switzerland 04/07/2013 05:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC
Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Kim Jong-un’s Nuclear Threats
By Kevin Barrett, TruthJihad.com
When I heard that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un was threatening to nuke Washington, DC, and “engulf the nation’s capital in a sea of flames,” my first thought was: “At last, a politician with a plan that could actually solve our nation’s most pressing problems.”
The thought of Inside-the-Beltway Washington going up in flames brought joy to my heart. The politicians – incinerated! The lobbyists – carbonized! The Supreme Court – cremated! The Pentagon – a five-sided crème brûlée! AIPAC – reduced to cinders that would fit in a Volkswagen’s ashtray!
No more nightmares about an aerial army of drones swooping down on us like the wicked witch’s winged monkeys. No more concerns that my friends, neighbors, or family might end up on the “kill list” of Obama’s death panels. No more visions of Washington’s political monkeys rounding us up and sending us to Haliburton detention camps. No more uneasiness about DHS’s order for billions of hollow-point bullets. No more false flag attacks, and no more pompous political posers lying us into idiotic wars. After all, they’ve burned the Constitution. So there is no longer any reason not to burn Washington, DC.
At this point, it’s either them or us.
If Washington were gone, erased from the face of the earth, the planet would be infinitely better for it. There would be nobody left to trash our economy and steal our money and use it to bully folks on the far side of the world who would rather be minding their own damn business…folks like Kim Jong-un, who apparently is fed up, and rightfully so, with Washington thinking it’s in charge of every distant corner of the earth.
To hell with Washington, DC. The sooner they nuke it, the better, as far as I’m concerned. But I’m a thoughtful, reasonable guy. I try to look at both sides of every issue. So I thought to myself, “Wait a minute…suppose there’s something I’m missing.” I sat down with a pencil and paper and decided to make a list of all the reasons NOT to nuke Washington, DC.
Fourteen hours later, I had come up with five good reasons.
So I decided to write an open letter to Kim Jong-un, just in case he hadn’t yet considered all the pros and cons.
The Honorable Kim Jong-un Supreme Leader, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Pyongyang, North Korea
Dear Supreme Leader Jong-un (may I call you Kim?)
Dennis Rodman says you’re a stand-up guy, which makes you all right in my book. So I thought I’d check in with you about your promise to nuke Washington, DC and turn it into a “sea of flames.”
I understand that threatening to nuke Washington, DC is a good political move in North Korea. Have you considered that it might also be a good political move here in America?
Since you’re obviously an ambitious guy – not every leader of an economic-basket-case country of 25 million people runs around threatening to nuke DC – I think you ought to consider ditching your current job and running for President of the USA on a “Nuke Washington” platform.
The polls show that the American people HATE Washington, DC. Congress’s “favorable” rating has been running at the edge of the single digits for years. The rest of DC isn’t doing much better.
If you came here and promised to nuke Washington, you wouldn’t just be elected in a landslide. You’d be anointed Supreme Leader here too, by popular acclaim.
There are, however, compelling reasons not to nuke Washington, DC. After spending all day and most of the night trying to think of some, I came up with the following list:
1) There are quite a few dogs, cats, rats, cockroaches, trees, shrubs, and other innocent animals and plants that live there.
2) If Washington were scrubbed from the face of the earth, Americans would no longer have a focus for their hatred, and the nation would become disunited and fractious.
3) Ditto for the world.
4) If you give the orders to “nuke Washington,” your missile might accidentally be delivered to Washington state, which has really beautiful mountains and rivers and stuff.
5) If Washington DC gets nuked, and all its freemasonic symbols are obliterated, the damn freemasons will just move their world capital to Jerusalem, bulldoze the al-Aqsa mosque, put up a temple for sacrificing red heifers, and rebuild DuPont Circle, the Washington’s Dick Monument, Congress, the White House, AIPAC, the whole nine yards…so the whole thing will turn out to have been pointless.
Then again, what difference does it make if they move America’s capital to Israel – the whole place has been owned by the Israelis for years anyway. So, on balance, I would urge you to refrain from nuking Washington DC until you have considered all your options – including a possible run for Supreme Leader of the USA.
Sincerely, Dr. Kevin Barrett
-deep in the woods of western Wisconsin, just about as far away from Washington, DC as I can get without falling into the Mississippi River |
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T-Man Entitled title
User ID: 37600356 Netherlands 04/07/2013 05:25 AM
Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Lol not one real reason? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37557618 United States 04/07/2013 05:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Thank of all the jobs that would be lost You thank the economy is bad now and all those poor government officials lives lost |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37566761 United States 04/07/2013 05:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC What about the 538+ reasons in favor of it? |
Useless Cookie Eater
User ID: 29696048 United States 04/07/2013 06:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5159582 ....wait....I'm still thinking. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 36553700 United Kingdom 04/07/2013 06:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC hot girls is another reason :) |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 33577298 United States 04/07/2013 06:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC i have only one reason- but hes out golfing. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37604430 United States 04/07/2013 07:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC The Declaration of Independance and the Constitution for the United States are stored there. |
Unixlike
User ID: 37604455 United States 04/07/2013 07:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC The Declaration of Independance and the Constitution for the United States are stored there.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37604430 They are kept in a bomb proof underground vault. We could launch a rescue mission to retrieve them after the fires burn out. While there we could bull doze a bunch of debris up to the doors of the government bunkers so the survivors can't get out. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37604430 United States 04/07/2013 07:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC well I knew they go in the vaults at night, but would hey really survive direct nukes? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37604430 United States 04/07/2013 07:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC *they
sorry I'm half blind ha ha |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 31036137 United States 04/07/2013 07:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Um, it will kill innocent people! |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37506300 United States 04/07/2013 08:01 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC The Declaration of Independance and the Constitution for the United States are stored there. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37604430 The question is why? No one in DC gives a shit about it. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25845377 United States 04/07/2013 08:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC hot girls is another reason :)
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36553700 not really though |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37604430 United States 04/07/2013 11:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC ummm, I used to live in DC, there are way more hot girls in Florida!
DC is just a government town with way too much traffic and a bunch of of pissed off begrudging people. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 18723832 United States 04/07/2013 11:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC
I have no problem with Washington DC the City. I think that America has a great framework and a Constitution that will work for all people if we would just follow it... If we could replace Congress and the rest of the country with everyday Americans with every day lives... I think our country could be great again, and help people in the eys of the world, and be a beacon of freedom like we used to be. In order to regain our great republic, we will need the infrastructure that our Forefathers left for us. An elected president and congress. Judges to uphold the Constitution and the many embassies there so that we can react peacefully and economically with all the other nations of the world. The only thing in Washington that needs to leave is the current representatives from the junior Representatives to the President Himself. And if needed, some top brass in the military who have been their enablers. And above all, their special interest lobbies that steal the peoples voives with corporate and international banking cash and kickbacks. I still believe that a peaceful resolution can come of this. I propose that anyone who steps down from our government should be given immunity to live their new lives lives. Threatening violence against them only backs them into a corner and forces them to take drastic measures that would be harmful for our country. A pipe deam... I know. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37591833 Slovenia 04/07/2013 11:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC |
El Tiburon
User ID: 28375544 United States 04/07/2013 11:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Um, it will kill innocent people!
Quoting: --Voltaic-- In DC... Innocent people? Who? Tourists? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 35773623 United States 04/07/2013 11:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC use a neutron bomb. Leaves all the cool buildings alone. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 32412853 United States 04/07/2013 12:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Um, it will kill innocent people!
Quoting: --Voltaic-- In DC... Innocent people? Who? Tourists? Quoting: El Tiburon Kids? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23851653 United States 04/07/2013 12:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC
I have no problem with Washington DC the City. I think that America has a great framework and a Constitution that will work for all people if we would just follow it... If we could replace Congress and the rest of the country with everyday Americans with every day lives... I think our country could be great again, and help people in the eys of the world, and be a beacon of freedom like we used to be. In order to regain our great republic, we will need the infrastructure that our Forefathers left for us. An elected president and congress. Judges to uphold the Constitution and the many embassies there so that we can react peacefully and economically with all the other nations of the world. The only thing in Washington that needs to leave is the current representatives from the junior Representatives to the President Himself. And if needed, some top brass in the military who have been their enablers. And above all, their special interest lobbies that steal the peoples voives with corporate and international banking cash and kickbacks. I still believe that a peaceful resolution can come of this. I propose that anyone who steps down from our government should be given immunity to live their new lives lives. Threatening violence against them only backs them into a corner and forces them to take drastic measures that would be harmful for our country. A pipe deam... I know. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18723832 Jimmy Stewart plays Mr. Smith 1939..we all know what happened after that :D |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 34509900 United States 04/07/2013 12:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC mutually assured destruction - MAD |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37548115 Indonesia 04/07/2013 12:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC so nuke it |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37282842 United States 04/07/2013 12:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC The Declaration of Independance and the Constitution for the United States are stored there.
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37604430 The way the libtards like to treat those documents as crap, burning them up with the rest of DC will be on big deal. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 36387090 United States 04/07/2013 12:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Wait wait wait....he says at 40 sec. "Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war...." Where did they get that? WHO told them that? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37611611 Brazil 04/07/2013 12:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Who is going to nuke Washington DC ? North Korea? HUauhauahauhauhauahuahauhauhauahuahuahahauahuahuaahua
LOL |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 6231580 United States 04/07/2013 12:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37601251 United States 04/07/2013 12:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC better take out NYC as well or else nanny bloomberg will claim emperor |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 36429740 United States 04/07/2013 12:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Personally, I don't really give a shit at this point. Because if the world wants that, then we will deliver assured destruction to mankind. I'm tired of the cock fight.
We can all try to live in a psuedo-peace or we all die. Pretty simple choice really.
DC is filled with crooks. If a country nuked DC, I would not shed a tear over it. Actually it may help us, the citizenry, restore our country back to its founding values. This would purge the corrupt assholes causing the wars in the first place. On the other hand, power hungry countries may see it as an opportunity to invade. This would be a big mistake because Americans would be pissed off beyond anything comparable in the past. After 12 years of warfare, people are sick of this shit. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2317357 Canada 04/07/2013 12:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Reason #1: you won't kill enough people. |
OOOOHH SHITT!! User ID: 31761826 United States 04/07/2013 01:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Five good reasons not to nuke Washington, DC Your going to prison real SOON.
ADVICE RUNNNN. |
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