Dealing With Her Male “friends”

Dealing With Her Male “friends”

Beware the company she keeps for they will betray you. Few people have integrity in this world and even fewer keep it when the gain is so great. It is all we have and it sells for nothing. In desperation people will lie, steal and cheat to get what they desire. This applies greatly to relationships and your girlfriends male “friends.”

There is a big problem that is running rampant in today’s relationships and it’s called male friends. A lot of guy’s would steal your girlfriend right out from under you without a second thought. Either through lack of integrity or desperation for love and affection would they take what is not theirs, leaving you confused as to why this happened.

Some women are to blame for this. They love external validation so much so that is has become an addiction to them. They gain their self esteem from the compliments and attention from others and it is a tough habit to break.

They get into relationships and receive withdrawal symptoms from not having drunk guys suck up to them every weekend. Without this attention they feel ugly, useless and miserable.

They like the security that comes from a relationship because almost everyone fears dying alone but still feel the shakes as the self esteem derived from external validation leaves their system. Single and fearing dying alone or in a relationship and watching their false sense of self esteem dwindle away?

There lies a compromise that most take: be in a relationship but keep the male companions around for validation. All the while you can pretend like it doesn’t bother you. You can ignore it when she constantly texts her “friend” who is a little too touchy for your taste. Or like most guy’s who don’t like it you can keep your mouth shut and repress your irritation.

You don’t like it but feel helpless in the situation. You know something is off but feel like there is nothing you can do about it. You have made far too many rationalizations in your head for this sort of behavior. You don’t want to appear needy or macho so you let it go only to find the situation getting worse as the days go bye.

Few find the strength and courage to say something to the girl which only ends up in an argument. Never argue with a women, she’s better at it. The argument doesn’t go as you plan and you only end up feeling guilty for something that doesn’t sit right with you.

The uncertainty of whether or not her having touchy feely male friends is what kills you and makes you unable to stand your ground.

She tells you hes just a friend and you believe it but something still doesn’t sit right in your stomach. You feel as though it’s unfair that she has friends that are a little close for comfort while you would never allow any female friends to get that way. You feel loyal to the relationship and wouldn’t allow anything to threaten it but would she?

That’s an important question to ask any time you feel like there is a male friend of hers that you don’t quite trust.

Does she care about the relationship to let go of anyone who threatens it? Or does she enjoy the high she gets from external validation more? If the answer is yes that she does want to protect the relationship then the male friend needs to go.

Before you even bring this up check to make sure it’s not your own paranoia that is running the show. Does he make inappropriate compliments? Text or call her more than a friend should? Give her hugs that last a little too long?

Most women aren’t used to dating guys with integrity and character. They are used to holding onto to male friends who over step their boundaries and having their boyfriends not say a word about it. She might be upset when you bring this up and try and turn it around on you. Don’t listen to any of the arguments and keep your ground.

She might repeat that he is just a friend but would you do the same things with a buddy that her male friend is doing with her? No, probably not.

If she absolutely refuses to get rid of him then your answer is clear…No she is not willing to do anything to protect the relationship. At that time you are the one who needs to make a choice and ask yourself “do I really want to be with this person?”

There are also girls who don’t derive all of their self esteem from external validation but still have those irritating male friends. Most of the time the girls have just brushed it off and made excuses for their friends behaviors. In this case it will be easy for her to let go of them. All you need to do is talk to her about it and have her become aware of what’s going on and the problem will be solved.

It is more than ok to have friends within a relationship but they need to be friends both of you can trust. They need to be people who completely respect the boundaries of your relationship and who know better than to mess with it. They must be of integrity or they need to go.