I caught my boyfriend of 10 years looking at porn!!

Op it's normal. Men have a need to jerk off sometimes. Why don't you dress into sexy underwear, then let him jerk off thinking about you.

Why so uptight about sex.

Keep nagging and bitching, watch him run away.

Well i am a lesbian in a 17 year relationship and for the past 4 years or so ive been looking at porn. I think mainly because I dont get enough in the bedroom anymore. I really enjoy it though!

Yes, normal. Don't keep secrets. If you know about it, tell him. If you are worried you aren't making him happy, ask him..and believe him when he says you do. Acknowledge his need...don't worry, he'll have no problem having sex with you if he had been looking at porn earlier. That won't be an issue until he's in his 50's, probably.

Last Edited by Fhre A'an on 09/11/2011 11:18 AM

Cheating????

Rediculous...Married 30 years. Wife does not like sex.
Porn is my savior. It is a celebration of my human/instinctual side. Normal.

No, you need to make him promise to stop or dump his ass for another guy or even another girl!
This is soo wrong to you! Don't put up with his bs!

The need to masturbate is normal in both men and women. That isn't the issue here. A man doesn't need porn to jack off, he chooses to look at it because it's highly addictive and stimulating.

I'm happy for all you chronic porn wankers. I just wouldn't be with a man like that. It's your business if you're not sharing your life with a woman. I'm sure you wouldn't be ok with a woman regularly viewing hot guys online and masturbating to their images.

If the porn featured children or animals, you might want to think twice about him.

Otherwise, let it be.

Wow you sound like a barrel of fun.

Why so uptight about sex?

what about BOXXY?

Sometimes it leads to that. The brain requires more and more stimulation, how many of you porn supporters/addicts watch tranny porn now? 'Nuff said. It's so disgusting once you find out what many porn viewers look for. No thanks, I'd rather be single.

So what? If he's still your boyfriend at the end of the day, why should it matter if he's looking at porn, or if he's looking at Oprah (though that would raise some questions about his sexual orientation, if even only jokingly :P).

I didn't bother to read the whole story, I got all the information I needed from the title.

The only reason why this bothers you so much is because you're insecure. I can almost hear your questions: "What if I'm not good enough looking for him? What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if I'm not good in bed?"

All of these are useless little insecurities that make the human mind the fragile thing that it is, obscuring the essential.

Pfff and that is a problem for you ?

Maybe YOU yourself are the problem here winding up all about it....

Or was he masturbating when you caught him?
EVEN THEN it would be normal...

Or are you a person who hates sex and or orgasms...
And you hate the fact that your boyfriend watches porn, maybe cause of YOU who doesnt like porn or sex ?

Sorry if this sounds ill or embarasing...

But you are the one asking the question on a forum where tens of thousands of people watch each day...

So this reaction is common...

Please respond XD

now... in their defense, it really sucks... sometimes you get tricked into clicking a vid thinking it's straight with a really hot chick only to realize something is horribly wrong, but you can't quite figure it out because you're too busy FAPPING!!! than you see the other shlong and realize you just FAPPED to a dude.

next worse thing to sleeping with one you picked up at the bar after too many drinks. fortunately i have only experienced the video... my condolences to those that found a surprise when they got to the cheap hotel.

I am willing to bet the OP is one of those bitches that think sex once a month is perfectly normal.

I know the type.

Well, here's the thing. The "morality" of porn aside. And I've had kids, was a criminal defense atty and prosecutor for 25 years and have counsel many a family (H&W) over the years. Yeah, I'm old now. =)


Here's the thing. That standing alone means absolutely NOTHING as far as what he thinks about you. It is completely normal (especially at his age). To expect a man or woman to NOT be attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex is as unreasonable as expecting it not to rain in Seattle. But, "being attracted to" is a basic biological reaction. It does not mean a desire to have an affair. In fact, putting that desire aside is reflective of a strong, committed relationship.

The issue though is how will this affect your relationship? If it is something that bothers you (and you HAVE to decide why it bothers you) of course you two talk about it. And, like any relationship, you have to decide if it is a personality trait with which you can live. Same with him towards you. You can't change people's fundamental personality, and should never try. You have to decide if you love, and can live with, people for who they are and not for who you want them to be.

Some couples watch porn together. Some don't. It's an individual matter of taste. But i HAVE found this in all my decades on this Earth. Only about 5%, or less, of the time did I find where something like this arose that bothered one of the partners in a relationship, was it because the person viewing the porn wanted to move on to another relationship. Only about that 5% was there a desire to cheat. It is our brain that keeps mankind in a monogamous relationship. That is NOT the natural biological drive built into humans. There has been much scientific research on the issue.

SO, probably, you just have a normally horny boyfriend and NOT someone who wants to cheat on you or who finds the "other woman" more attractive than you. If you approach your discussion about it with him with that in mind and not be "hurt" then you will resolve this, even if the resolution is that you two are just too different to continue. But almost very time I had this issue arise with couples, they worked it out pretty quickly and it strengthened their relationship.

Again, both of you are going to find other people attractive and get a biological sexual response about them as a result. It is normal. It is just what you do with it that matters. U don't want to say "this isn't a big thing" because it bothers you which DOES make it a big thing. But think about why it bothers you and don't turn it into something it is not. Just be honest, talk, and don't think that this, alone is even an ounce of evidence that your boyfriend doesn't love you or find you the most amazing woman on the face of the Earth. That attitude towards you is NOT mutually exclusive with watching porn.

Yes, be deceptive, that's great advice. *sarcasm*

If you agree with the above, just dump him! He'll thank you for it later.

Last Edited by surfdaddy on 09/11/2011 11:40 AM

He wouldnt be your boyfriend for very long if he bugged you for sex every time the urge was felt heh

one word... so?

what do you expect? he's been banging the same poontang for 10 years. he needs to blow one out to another girl.

oh, what a bitch

As long as it was "normal" porn it is perfectly normal. It would be odd if he never looked at porn. By "normal" I mean nothing illegal without getting specific.

I can't believe how naive some of you women are about guys looking at porn.

All guys look at porn. All guys jack off, all the time.

Heck, I can look at porn and jack off half a dozen times a day AND STILL give my wife sex anytimes she wants it and more often than she cares for it. No woman has the sex drive of a healthy man. That's why we look at porn and masturbate.

So you see, it's just a natural release. No emotion, no cheating, just fun.

You are fucking retarded...

What if he catches you looking at something you cant afford, is that cheating on him as a provider?

If you dont want to be his fantasy why do you want him to be yours?
Men are normally 10 to 100 times more sexually oriented, you can either make this work for or against ya.

10 years is a long time. i would say its normal. either that or you piled on the pounds over the years..

We've been on dial up for two years, hubby has not had any chance to look at porn and I've been very grateful. He says he has no desire to watch it once we get high speed but only time will tell. He says porn was something that got him through the day when he was sexless.

I understand men masturbate and it's normal, blah blah, but I am just of the opinion that porn is something you watch when you're single. When you're in a relationship that should go out the window. Stick with your hand and your imagination or get your woman in on it. I can assure you I will help him out anytime he needs it, even if he wants to wake me up before work or in the middle of the night. However sometimes they just want to do it alone. Let them. But no, in my opinion, porn is not okay in my relationship.

Most men will tell you it is 100% normal and you're a bitch for having a problem with it. Women and men are different creatures my friend, it is normal for you to be upset!! You want him to think about you and you alone. Of course you're bothered by him watching plastic sluts make fake noises and jump around with their fake boobs and perfect makeup. That's a normal female reaction to the porn equation.

What men don't understand (or care) is most of the time us being upset at them watching porn has everything to do with us thinking they don't find us attractive enough. No matter how untrue (or true!) that might be, it greatly upsets us.

Boys, if you're going to watch porn please do it very discreetly, make sure we are long gone and delete your history. We don't want to know about it and it hurts our feelings.

Big fucking deal. Do your own porn fo him