I have to meet with a social worker at school about my son :,(

I would say tell them exactly what you've said here and that you expect something to be done immediately about the other boy, because you, too, have a list and that kid is at the top and if the social worker doesn't take care of it, the social worker moves to the top of the list. But, that probably wouldn't be helpful, so I'll just wish you luck. Darn shame.

Give the school hell.

Your strategy should be that they are the failing part of the equation because they let the bullying get out of control.

Your kid did nothing wrong, calling someone a murderous freak is just as threatening as saying you are going to kill someone.

Especially when the person is provoking them, and giving them the words.

This is all on the school, and this is potentially lawsuit worthy(in the States) if it has a negative effect on your sons academic performance.

I hope he and you have a supportive relationship.

He needs to know you support him, even if the school has their head up their asses.

Yeh I don't think threatening her will go over well.

But the story was told to me by the principle, so they know what led to it, and the other boy is receiving detention. But things like this are taken very seriously now, and they have protocol to follow. I'm just worried how it's all gonna play out. And the thought that this will be in his school record :(

They just need to let kids fight... I mean isn't it just part of growing up... One punch to the face and it would be settled, This is just getting stupid already.

hire a child advocate to take with you. seriously

I can imagine how you feel. It's ridiculous the way things are. It might help if you tell them your concerns and ask if it will be in his record. If so, ask that your statement, or your son's statement, be included and stay with the record. Let us know how it works out, ok?

Yeh, I agree totally! But this is my son :( I feel as if I need to tread lightly at first, and not make it worse for him.

It's just such a damn sticky situation, for a quick defensive response :(

Drop the schools bs from your life, especially since your son is a booknerd.

HOMESCHOOL

Thank you, and I will. I'm just so wracked with worry right now, and I could tell talking to my son, that he understands the magnitude of it, and that breaks my heart. Sorry for all the emoticons but I'm just devastated right now.

I wish I had time, the first meeting is 8am in the morning

Homeschool. What they are doing is illegal and you inadvertently agreed to it by registering him for school.

Teach him about how the system works and that even though it is wrong, he must use his intellect to stay safe until he is 18. He is going to have to be able to protect himself in addition to you protecting him.

You have nothing to be sorry for. I'd be upset too. You know, it's not all on you, or your son. Most schools have some sort of anti bullying rules/laws. It might be good to place some of the responsibility back on them.

Wouldn't hurt to ask if they have an anti bullying policy. If so, you'd like a copy. You could suggest that the policy they have doesn't appear to be working and you'd like to know how they plan on remedying the situation so your son won't have to have such conflicts in the future.

If they have a policy, it probably mentions parents rights. Ask for the parents rights in writing so that you can consider it at home after you've been able to think through the situation.

It's really hard for you to be expected to immediately appear and answer to this when you haven't had time to research and present your concerns/issues.

I'd be expecting something from them determining what method they plan on using to insure this won't happen again, and how they intend to implement that method, and what they plan on doing if it doesn't work, and ask at what point in this process will you be notified if things are/aren't working out so that you can take further action in protecting your son.

Dang. I'd be as annoyed as anything. Things are so unfair.

You say that this is not the first time that this boy has given your son trouble. I would make sure that the principle is aware of that incident. I would also go to the district and let them know what this boy has done to your son. I hope all goes well.

My sons has been out of school for amount 6 years, but I tought them, If someone is bulling you go tell the teacher. If the teacher don't do anything then you take care of it..They would get suspended from school, but that bully never bothered them again.. Good luck

You should request the other kid be checked out because he's the one who suggested it and brought it up. I would take my kid out of the whole situation and say the school is not suitable for my kid to go there because it sounds like there is no supervision and they are making it worse by inciting a huge ordeal by listening to what the other kid has made it out to be. The other kid sounds like a master manipulator and he is the one who sounds dangerous.

it seems apparent that the other student knew exactly what he was doing. goading your son. don't let them intimidate you. you could turn the table on them by rescheduling the meeting after you let your son talk to a private counselor. it might be worth the money. i did this when my son was in middle school and it really pissed them off when i told them that the private counselor determined that he didn't appear to have any issues that weren't normal. The school counselor then contacted our counselor without our permission. When i found this out, she knew her job was on the line. another thing the school doesn't like to hear is that you might considering removing your son if they don't handle the bullying situation to your satisfaction. they get a lot of money for every child in attendance. that's why they give kids detention in school. you might also drop a lawyers'. name.

I've thought of homeshooling, will certainly look into more closely now.

As far as teaching him about the ways of the system. I see now that I made a mistake not informing him more. He's such a good kid, I was stupid in thinking it was not necessary :(

typical. The school punishes the child that they can punish and the real brat that cannot be controlled gets away with bullying.

I always told both of my kids, anyone bully you, punch em out. You go to school to learn not to be bullied!

I am sorry you are having to go through this but hopefully this will reassure you?

a friend of my Sons got beat up by 4 kids. He was suspended and the 4 kids got away with it.

yanno what that proves? they have to be seen to be doing something about it.

try not to worry too much, it will all be ok.

Maybe you should try to get some rest. Tomorrow if you feel threatened or don't like the direction the conversation is going you can say you really aren't able to discuss it any further until you've done some more research and maybe consulted some people, and you'll be back in contact with them when that happens. Good luck. Try to rest.

Yeh it had already occurred to me that this whole thing was manipulated by the other kid, and basically a set up.

As far as the timing of the meeting, they said it was so they can go ahead and get it done so my son can return to school.

Still sucks though, he's a stickler about his perfect attendance record.

Damn that just made me cry

Yeh, I guess I really do need to get some sleep. Thank you all for the advice and suggestions. I can't express enough how much it has helped me wrap my head around the situation better.

I will check back in the morning before I leave for the meeting.

G'nite OP and good luck tomorrow. I'm sure we'll all be thinking about you.

You are not stupid. We are all learning. Please come back and let us know how it goes. I think you will be fine from what you have said.

They might recommend counseling to your son even though it is the other child who needs it. Let him know this ahead of time and both of you just nod and agree and if they try to force it, you find the psychologist.

Get your son into a Martial Arts class right away! He needs to know the skills of diversion and defense. You can not protect him..he needs to learn to protect himself. I am all for home schooling and if you can that is good. But life is like this now and isn't changing any time soon. I have a lovely son to that had this happen in Fifth Grade at an Alternative School. He was taught in Kung Fu to set a trap and let the kid blunder into his closed fist. It worked well the kid got a fat lip and my son was never bothered again. My son to this day..now very well trained.. avoids most conflict but know how to let the energy of the attacker be their downfall. Best advice here.. and you get trained too.

Your son probably has other bullying experiences he hasn't even mentioned to you. Also other things he might just be embarrassed about. When I was in school I noticed the gentle, withdrawn book nerd types that were afraid to toss some testosterone around were picked on. The bullies found them a safe target and it helped their need to feel bigger by making someone small in their estimation.

It is social nonsense that your son will not overcome by being badgered by idiots. You should homeschool him. This doesn't mean let him safely sit at home with the computer doing worksheets and tests solo putting on the pounds and sealing his fate as a neurotic withdrawn boy fleeing to absorb himself in books to push reality away.

It's time to broaden his horizons a bit. Sign him up to some educational activities or private school. If he computer home schools have him volunteer at the zoo, take martial arts classes, take a hip hop dance class, sign up for flight school, mechanics school and have him become accomplished at some sort of instrument. Get his butt busier then ever but not in the public school obedient military and corporate drone worker training program.

Both of my sons had great difficulty with bullies at school, telling them to stick up for themselves and one good punch will sort out the bully doesnt always work, (although I would love to show you the video of the aussie school boy who gave his tormentor a jolly good hiding, I dont know how to find it.)

Both of my sons left school early due to this kinda behaviour.

In hindsight, I would suggest to the school that they are responsible for your sons well being and that while you are not taking these comments (from both parties) lightly, you would like to see what the school is doing to protect your son from further harassment and this must be in writing and refer to your son , not a generic statement.

In the mean time your son will be seeking counselling from a private party and you will be referring this incident and others to your lawyer/solicitor/child advocate.....

Like bulling, it is about "bluff" , go in to the school , head up, full of confidence, they wont know if your shakin in your shoes....Be appalled (I know you are) indignant and demand your right to child safety.

Then consider your son.....
The victim...
My son at 19 is still the victim, drives me nuts cos he wont stick up for himself much and when he does it is like asking Mike tyson to punch him in the head.
Get him into Martial arts or sumpin like that .

Maybe you could look at alternative kinds of education, from home schooling to independent schools to montissori or stiener or private religious kinda schools

You will find that alot of these bullies have parents that are high on community ladder (police chief, mayor, city attorney ect..) and that's why the never get punished.

Praise her for her good work - she will transform from an enemy to a friend.
You`ll see.

My advise is just take good care of him, the end is near anyway. There isn't a future anyway in the coming year the whole ship will be going down.

My parents just kicked me out of my house, be a better parent

Homeschool... for the win.

of course - the social workers have to justify their existence
so they'll be milking it for all they can get

communism in action
.