I have been in an extremely abusive relationship for 12 years | |
eve incognito User ID: 27444597 Bosnia and Herzegovina 11/11/2012 10:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Smacks him in the head of course throws things at him chases him around the house with a frying pan. aw these are all good, i wish i bashed his fucking head in with a fraying pen first time he hit me. why didn't i remeber this then??? (mentally throwing heavy stuff at my ex husband, and bashing his head in with a frying pen) |
Guenwyfar User ID: 21285652 United States 11/11/2012 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think I will just walk out when he goes to work, just pack my things and leave, Maybe I just needed other people to tell me to, thanks people who posted except the Australian poster....I dont have to hit or be mean to feel good, I have never hit him but I have spit in his food occasionally. Quoting: twinkletrooper And don't allow him to contact you or know where you are. Good advice. Leave, don't look back. Someone somewhere will love you for you. Not all men are like that. Guenwyfar "Karma is like a rubberband.. it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face." "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." "Religion is like a penis, it's fine to have one and be proud of it, but when you take it out and wave it in my face, that's when we have a problem." |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25567776 United States 11/11/2012 10:14 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Joker User ID: 1437768 United States 11/11/2012 10:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27412776 Canada 11/11/2012 10:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have never told anyone. I have been married since I was 17,now 29... he is 10 years older. He screams at me and calls me lots of names. Not like bitch or stupid but things like trashbag and retard. If I question anything he says. He threatens to kill me. He broke all the blood vessels in my eye two days ago by snapping a cord in my face. He is more verbally threatening than physical, but when he gets really mad he does hit me, just not every time. I have no friends or anyone for support. I dont even know why I am putting this on the forum. Maybe to just get it out of me. My eye hurts when I look at light. I tried to call the police but he broke the phone. Thing is, I am scared for him to leave because I have no one else in life but I do not love him. I have extreme anxiety attacks that he helps me through, so he isnt mean all the time. Just when I say something he doesn't like. I rarely leave my home. I have a dog that I love very much and he makes me happier than anything. This is the first time i have ever posted on GLP.I have been a lurker on a different account for a long time..I hope if the world does end my dog and I are the first to go..... Quoting: twinkletrooper I am not here for sympathy, I do hope if there is someone out there who has been through similar and found a way out or some sort of self-therapy that really works, please share this with me. OP, you wrote "I have never told anyone." Well now you have told a whole lot of people. This is good, it means that you are beginning to want change, and have decided not to be this person's punching bag any longer. It's a first step. Now take it into the real world. Tell someone you know and can trust, tell a neighbour, tell a family member, if you go to church tell someone there. If you don't go, then find one to go to. And whatever / whoever your deity is - and if you don't have one just ask creation or the universe - ask for help to find your way out, IOW pray for guidance and strength. Ask and you will receive. There probably are shelters and places near where you are that will help. I'm sure you will find one that will take you and your dog. Above all, don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about asking for help or sharing your story with others. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26298928 United States 11/11/2012 10:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | They moved in with us about a year ago (on family property), and now we are leaving because it has become so out of hand it's impossible to be here and watch. She has railroaded me, stolen from me, and made vicious accusations, all because I stand up immediately to my stepdad (I'm only about a foot and a half taller lol) and don't let him get away with it, ever. The moral here is - if you are wise enough to get out, get out, and don't waste time thinking about it. My stepdad's going to kill my mother one day because she isn't wise enough. Your husband is no different. Your life is worth more than that, and if you don't feel that way, it is probably because of years of his manipulation. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27390779 United Kingdom 11/11/2012 10:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
seer User ID: 1529717 United States 11/11/2012 10:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
DRHOECKER User ID: 19191405 United States 11/11/2012 10:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have never told anyone. I have been married since I was 17,now 29... he is 10 years older. He screams at me and calls me lots of names. Not like bitch or stupid but things like trashbag and retard. If I question anything he says. He threatens to kill me. He broke all the blood vessels in my eye two days ago by snapping a cord in my face. He is more verbally threatening than physical, but when he gets really mad he does hit me, just not every time. I have no friends or anyone for support. I dont even know why I am putting this on the forum. Maybe to just get it out of me. My eye hurts when I look at light. I tried to call the police but he broke the phone. Thing is, I am scared for him to leave because I have no one else in life but I do not love him. I have extreme anxiety attacks that he helps me through, so he isnt mean all the time. Just when I say something he doesn't like. I rarely leave my home. I have a dog that I love very much and he makes me happier than anything. This is the first time i have ever posted on GLP.I have been a lurker on a different account for a long time..I hope if the world does end my dog and I are the first to go..... Quoting: twinkletrooper I am not here for sympathy, I do hope if there is someone out there who has been through similar and found a way out or some sort of self-therapy that really works, please share this with me. I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL I AM 49 AND SINGLE KNOW THIS,YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU WANT OUT YOU CAN START OVER BE STRONG AND KNOW HE WILL GET HIS SHARE SOON ENOUGH NICE NOW MEAN LATER DONT FLY YOU ARE FRESH LIFE DONT GROW OLD IN SADNESS [email protected] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1199835 Canada 11/11/2012 10:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27384624 United States 11/11/2012 10:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Carol B. User ID: 21050000 United States 11/11/2012 10:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Carol B. User ID: 21050000 United States 11/11/2012 10:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 25601325 United States 11/11/2012 10:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2491358 Netherlands 11/11/2012 11:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Sparrow and Medicine User ID: 27463370 United Kingdom 11/11/2012 11:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have never told anyone. I have been married since I was 17,now 29... he is 10 years older. He screams at me and calls me lots of names. Not like bitch or stupid but things like trashbag and retard. If I question anything he says. He threatens to kill me. He broke all the blood vessels in my eye two days ago by snapping a cord in my face. He is more verbally threatening than physical, but when he gets really mad he does hit me, just not every time. I have no friends or anyone for support. I dont even know why I am putting this on the forum. Maybe to just get it out of me. My eye hurts when I look at light. I tried to call the police but he broke the phone. Thing is, I am scared for him to leave because I have no one else in life but I do not love him. I have extreme anxiety attacks that he helps me through, so he isnt mean all the time. Just when I say something he doesn't like. I rarely leave my home. I have a dog that I love very much and he makes me happier than anything. This is the first time i have ever posted on GLP.I have been a lurker on a different account for a long time..I hope if the world does end my dog and I are the first to go..... Quoting: twinkletrooper I am not here for sympathy, I do hope if there is someone out there who has been through similar and found a way out or some sort of self-therapy that really works, please share this with me. GTFO attention-whore. No one is buying it. "What happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, huh? What happened to you!?" |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 15411952 Canada 11/11/2012 11:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27406451 France 11/11/2012 11:53 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
yI User ID: 13090071 United States 11/11/2012 11:56 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26795689 United States 11/11/2012 12:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26795689 United States 11/11/2012 12:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Strawberrymittens User ID: 26604828 United States 11/11/2012 01:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Plan it out over the next few days very carefully. Pack a small bag and hide it. Maybe you don't have a phone but you DO have internet. There has to be someone you can connect with and ask for help. Family, or an old friend. Tell them you need a place to stay for a few days, or even just help getting to a shelter. They WILL help you. Wait til he goes to work or falls asleep one night and walk out. Consider it the beginning of a new life. You NEED treatment for your eye, you have to get to a hospital and from there, they CAN help you get to shelter. Start with finding medical help and the rest will fall into place. There IS medicine for anxiety and he is NOT the only person who can help you through it. He is probably part of the reason you feel so anxious and upset. He enjoys that you need him and he feels confident you won't leave. You have spent 12 years of your life like this, why stay for 12 more? He doesn't want you to get medical help because he'd rather have you lose sight in your eye than for him to be found out. You HAVE to LEAVE and begin a new life. I know you are afraid of being alone, that's understandable and it sounds he's done quite a job of making you feel very isolated. It's a game he plays to keep you from leaving. Someday you will meet someone wonderful, but you have to take a leap of faith on your own to leave first. After 12 years, you can see it's never going to change, but likely get worse. Wait til the right time these next few days, then take the car, a bag, and LEAVE. Walk if you have to, just get out. Last Edited by Strawberrymittens on 11/11/2012 01:32 PM The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent to the concerns of such puny creatures as we are. - Carl Sagan |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1550123 United States 11/11/2012 01:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP - my mother is going through the exact same situation, only she is still to the stage where she will do ANYTHING to justify his behavior. He threatened to kill her and burn the house down...and he retort is that her husband loves her enough to think about maybe going to therapy. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26298928 They moved in with us about a year ago (on family property), and now we are leaving because it has become so out of hand it's impossible to be here and watch. She has railroaded me, stolen from me, and made vicious accusations, all because I stand up immediately to my stepdad (I'm only about a foot and a half taller lol) and don't let him get away with it, ever. The moral here is - if you are wise enough to get out, get out, and don't waste time thinking about it. My stepdad's going to kill my mother one day because she isn't wise enough. Your husband is no different. Your life is worth more than that, and if you don't feel that way, it is probably because of years of his manipulation. Like always attracts like and until the abused person is ready to get better nothing will help them. They will actually attack the person trying to help them. And if they are forced to leave they will just get together with another abuser. They always find each other. So when you find a person who sticks up for their abuser there is no sense in trying to help them. Best to move on and get away from them before you get sucked into their drama. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26997864 United States 11/11/2012 01:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have never told anyone. I have been married since I was 17,now 29... he is 10 years older. He screams at me and calls me lots of names. Not like bitch or stupid but things like trashbag and retard. If I question anything he says. He threatens to kill me. He broke all the blood vessels in my eye two days ago by snapping a cord in my face. He is more verbally threatening than physical, but when he gets really mad he does hit me, just not every time. I have no friends or anyone for support. I dont even know why I am putting this on the forum. Maybe to just get it out of me. My eye hurts when I look at light. I tried to call the police but he broke the phone. Thing is, I am scared for him to leave because I have no one else in life but I do not love him. I have extreme anxiety attacks that he helps me through, so he isnt mean all the time. Just when I say something he doesn't like. I rarely leave my home. I have a dog that I love very much and he makes me happier than anything. This is the first time i have ever posted on GLP.I have been a lurker on a different account for a long time..I hope if the world does end my dog and I are the first to go..... Quoting: twinkletrooper I am not here for sympathy, I do hope if there is someone out there who has been through similar and found a way out or some sort of self-therapy that really works, please share this with me. so get a divorce you fucking retard, this isn't Oprah. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 26521859 United States 11/11/2012 01:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27494073 United States 11/11/2012 01:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
eve incognito User ID: 27444597 Bosnia and Herzegovina 11/11/2012 02:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | for the people eager to judge OP, unless you have bee married to a violant, manipulative person, you can't possibly understand what she is going through. he know just how to maipulte her into thinking that maybe he isn't that bad, or that she is overreacting,that it's all in her head, or that she isn't nice enough to him, and like someone suggested the nicer she is the worse things will get. abusive people that women stay with, are very intelligent, sadistic men, they do not only enjoy sadicits part of it, they equally enoy the part where they ssem meek and weak, and sorry, and cry and beg for fotgivness. assume you are a woman, you are in love with a man, or at least givng your best to love him, and he hurts you very badly...but then he creis and begs you to forgive him... you become confused, you assume that the tears are real, that he is geuanly sorry, that he just didn't know better, that he won't do it again...and it does happen again, coz he is faking the concern and tears, and he trains you like a circus animal, to think that maybe he just needs time, maybe he doesn't know any better... in reality people usually know very well what they are doing and especially men who beat women, they are like peadophiliacs, they know it's a bad thing to hurt women /children, so they hide it. peadophiliacs hide they are sleeping with kids, and abusers of women pretend they were provked, lost their temper, got frustrated, but they do't really enjoy it. in reality whenever a stronger person physically punishes weaker one they know exactly what they are doing, they are using force to control the other person. children drive me crazy all the time, i never slap them around, coz that is fucking retarded. leave him OP he knows exactly what he is doing, and he is a fucking retard coz he enjoys it no matter what he says. |
Mickeyblue User ID: 9806228 United States 11/11/2012 02:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Not knowing anything else about your husband's history I will take a stab At part of this. You have stated your extreme dependency upon him. Men like to think that they are problem solvers and when they cannot comprehend one and cannot effect what they see as a solution they can get very angry. They feel helpless and strike out at those who make them feel this way. Plus, and I do not mean this in a mean way, dependency steals one's strength, it is very draining. It is smothering. Perhaps you use this without intending to to keep him there and pay this price willingly like a beaten down dog in order to survive. There is another life with or without him and it will fall to you to effect this. One step at a time with the right support which is available. Nurture that part of you that recognizes your worth in lone little area by exercvising it, strengthening it and move, step by step forward. |
SteveJ User ID: 21803325 United States 11/11/2012 02:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have some things I can sell that I can get a good bit of cash for. If I leave I dont think I would go back. I just need to find a place to be. Also, I dont know what I did, I just married to young I guess..to the wrong person. Since I dont want to make this into a thread with people making fun of it, Im not going to post anymore. I do thank you good posters for all the advice. Quoting: twinkletrooper You just came here for sympathy. There are shelters in your area, and you already know that. Well, you won't get sympathy from me. You need tough love. Make a choice. Get beat up, or leave. Most of us would choose leaving, and we'd never look back. Last Edited by SteveJ on 11/11/2012 02:41 PM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 27532408 United Kingdom 11/11/2012 02:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |