HELP: Please tell me about modern teenage girls. my 19 yo cousin is coming to live with me.

OP- If you have no kids of you're own , you REALLY should just send her home .
My kids are 25 & 27. I MADE my Son & Daughter EARN THEIR CURFUE TIMES ...BY EARNING MY TRUST!!!

Truly ...they did! Now, My kids were very good kids & EARNED THE RIGHT at 16 & 17 to have a 2 am curfue on the weekends and midnight on school night b/c they never missed school.

I was a single Mother working my azzzzz off 70-80 a week ( WHEN A PERSON STILL COULD!!!) they knew if they screwed up & I found about it they would be walking with 3 feet...2 of their own and 1 of mine right in their A$$!!!! Because I wasn't dealing with any Bullchit!

So that was how I handled the whole "curfew" thing.
They had to work their way up the ladder so to speak.
First I'd set curfew for 10, and also maybe a few other things and if they proved their reliability to me then we built an even higher level of trust & increased our friendship each time too.
It IS hard work and DEDICATION!!! You will have to work at it just like you work at a job every day. ...BUT IF YOU STICK IT OUT...THEIR ARE REWARDS...just saying.
It won't be easy. In fact , it will be very hard. Hope you fasted & prayed long on this one!
Good Luck! ~ oh Lordy~… LoL

Ever have a conversation with a bowl of oatmeal? That is the level of intelligence I find in most people under 30. Obviously there are exceptions, but most people in that age range seem to try to compensate for their lack of social skills with being proficient in "texting"...

When she gets there go out for a drive and give her a tour of the area. Then stop off at a nice restaurant for dinner and there get to know her a bit. After convo is going well easily lead into your "ground rules", but frame it in a way that it's just some specifics so that you can both get along well. Don't list the rules off like a drill sergeant and most importantly include her and ask her questions if she is cool with them. Give her the option for her own opinion so that you can compromise together.

Only rule really: "don't touch my tomato plants, unless you're bringing them in for me because doom has happened, and I'm not around to bring them in myself."

Good luck!

i'm a 40 yo woman with a nice little beach house. a 19 year old cousin who i've never met is coming to stay with me until she finds a job. (apparently she didn't realize that college wasn't free). i'm doing this as a favor for my mom who can't take her in. the kid's parents and grandparents are all hot messes and can't take her in either. she was living with her boyfriend all during high school, but he's moving to mexico with his family.

it's been a long time since i was a teenager, and when i was one ,i always had a job and put myself thru college pretty easily.i partied a bit, but in general was a very good kid.
(but the 90's were a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TIME than now)

HOWEVER, I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT 19 YO'S ARE LIKE NOW.

what can i expect from her?

all i know about her is that she's not very bright and has been called "hard-headed" more than once by my mom.

please give me all the teenager advice you can give me.
i'm kind of scared.

HELP!

i'm a 40 yo woman with a nice little beach house. a 19 year old cousin who i've never met is coming to stay with me until she finds a job. (apparently she didn't realize that college wasn't free). i'm doing this as a favor for my mom who can't take her in. the kid's parents and grandparents are all hot messes and can't take her in either. she was living with her boyfriend all during high school, but he's moving to mexico with his family.

it's been a long time since i was a teenager, and when i was one ,i always had a job and put myself thru college pretty easily.i partied a bit, but in general was a very good kid.
(but the 90's were a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TIME than now)

HOWEVER, I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT 19 YO'S ARE LIKE NOW.

what can i expect from her?

all i know about her is that she's not very bright and has been called "hard-headed" more than once by my mom.

please give me all the teenager advice you can give me.
i'm kind of scared.

HELP!

OP, someone so dumb that they think that college is free???

Suggest she join the military - seriously. They will straighten her out (if she can get in).

Type a list of rules NOW. Send them to her before she comes.

If you don't have rules, people make up their own (that's why the banks do what they like these days)

So that she knows what the rules are.
Print them out and put on the fridge

eg
You pay for ....

TV is off by ....

MAKE SURE SHE CAN'T USE YOUR PHONE - it's not just teenagers - a man I know who used to stay at rich people's houses ran up a $10,000 phone bill he never paid.

More rules - Let's see...

List of chores for her to do. Seriously.

Think worst case scenario, just in case.

i'm a 40 yo woman with a nice little beach house. a 19 year old cousin who i've never met is coming to stay with me until she finds a job. (apparently she didn't realize that college wasn't free). i'm doing this as a favor for my mom who can't take her in. the kid's parents and grandparents are all hot messes and can't take her in either. she was living with her boyfriend all during high school, but he's moving to mexico with his family.

it's been a long time since i was a teenager, and when i was one ,i always had a job and put myself thru college pretty easily.i partied a bit, but in general was a very good kid.
(but the 90's were a TOTALLY DIFFERENT TIME than now)

HOWEVER, I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT 19 YO'S ARE LIKE NOW.

what can i expect from her?

all i know about her is that she's not very bright and has been called "hard-headed" more than once by my mom.

please give me all the teenager advice you can give me.
i'm kind of scared.

HELP!

She's just going to run around all night smoking dope and drinking and having sex with no one to say anything. Oh and she'll be using your money...too...don't expect any rent...don't expect her to get a job... Do expect her to find a boyfriend and have him move in too...


Good luck...I'd tell her to hit the bricks before she shows up...or get some fringe benefits out of it...

Does she do occult stuff?

If so, that can bring it's own problems with it - like curses objects. Seriously.

So many these days are into black magick etc.