Men beware - Attorney discusses differences between drunk sex and date rape

All it takes is for her to have regrets in the morning and you are off to jail and labeled a sexual predator for life.

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Attorney discusses differences between drunk sex and date rape News
by Russell Plummer, of the Advance Titan Issue: Thursday, October 19, 2006
Added: 10/18/2006 11:14:28 PM

A split decision came from an audience playing a jury Thursday after a guest speaker told the story of drunken sex being ruled as date rape.

President of The National Center for Higher Education Risk Management, Ltd. and attorney Brett Sokolow spoke at a presentation called “Drunk Sex or Date Rape: Can you Tell the Difference?” However, instead of giving facts, statistics and opinion, Sokolow used a real-life story he structured to inform, shock and even entertain the audience.

Sokolow said it was not his job to inform listeners about sexual assault, but to create a forum for everyone to think and talk about a tough issue together.

He used the names “Todd” and “Amy” for confidentiality reasons.

The situation he spoke of ended in court, where Todd was found guilty of sexual assault. He was sentenced to two years in a medium-security prison and had to register as a Tier Three sexual predator. The intelligent young man could not get back into a four-year college and earned an associate’s degree in facilities management at a community college.

Todd could not find a job and Sokolow helped him get employed at a state highway program for convicted felons, where he shoveled salt at a winter safety facility.

Amy dropped out of her university after trying to kill herself, went to counseling for two years and eventually went back to school to become a journalist.

The collapse of these two lives began one day at about 11 p.m.

Amy and her friends were trying to figure out what to do on Thursday night. They entered a house party that met their criteria for a good time: there were lots of single guys and plenty of beer. She headed straight to the bar and consumed five beers in the first hour. Amy was only 5 feet, 4 inches tall and 125 pounds.

Around midnight, Todd arrived and they were introduced to each other. There was instant chemistry. He figured he would match what he thought she drank and consumed three beers. He then decided to stop drinking.

Amy, however, continued to drink, and took five Jell-O shots with 190-proof alcohol. The drinks were voluntarily drunk after Todd brought them to her.

Todd escorted Amy to her residence and Amy invited him inside. He helped her get settled and was about to leave when she grabbed him and gave him a passionate kiss. They “mildly” fooled around, yet the abundance of alcohol forced her to head 10 feet to vomit in a toilet.

After the second bout of illness, Amy returned with brushed teeth. She then stopped his advances due to the possible return of her sickness. Todd said he couldn’t stop then because he was at “the point of no return,” an alleged state when a man is extremely sexually aroused. However, Sokolow dismissed that with examples of others exiting a situation once reaching that “point.”

Amy then passed out for 20 minutes and Todd spent the time watching television. She awoke in a condition Todd felt was improved and they engaged in what Todd called in court “highly participatory intercourse” with each other.

Later Todd exited the residence while Amy slept and he left a note with his name, a message and phone number. Amy’s roommate returned from her night out and inquired about the note.

Amy called Todd and he gave her a detailed retelling of exactly what happened. The last thing she could recollect was the two shots he gave her. He confirmed that he did wear a condom, but she still wanted to learn more. She went to the campus police and talked to the Sergeant. The officer immediately took her to a hospital and they used a “rape kit.”

Then a court date was set and the rest still remains in Sokolow’s speech as he continues to tour campuses.

“I am not standing in front of you tonight saying ‘don’t drink’,” Sokolow said. “I am not saying ‘don’t have sex.’ What I am saying is that this case points out better than anything I can think of the risks that are involved when you combine the two.”

The audience gave Sokolow a rousing applause as they headed out into the night after he urged them to remember Todd and Amy the next time they had too much too drink.

“This is my second time seeing him and I love him. I think he is awesome,” Senior Liz Luciano, 21, said. “I like how his speech is not about what sexual assault is, but he gives you a case. I think he is a really good speaker and he should come back.”

Luciano’s boyfriend attended the speech as well.

“She had told me he is a really good speaker,” Senior Andy McHugh, 24, said. “He really gave people good insight about the legalities of the whole thing, stuff you really don’t think about, especially the situation these people were put in.

Sokolow said that over a period of ten years, he has told the story to 1,200 college campuses and the vote from the audience jury was never unanimous.

“If I told you stats all night your eyes would glaze over,” Sokolow said. “It would be meaningless to you. I made these two students real for you. I think that works because we all can relate to this.”

[link to www.advancetitan.com]