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| 08:44 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,372 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 1,956,939 | |
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| 08:44 PM | ||
You know, Mother's Day isn't a pleasant experience for everyone.... | |
| d User ID: 71912922  Germany05/08/2016 11:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748  United States05/08/2016 11:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I miss my mother. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72172750 I spend mothers day alone. I spend every day alone for that matter. there are no friends....friends always stab you in the end. And family always dies or moves so far away they might as well be dead. I pray for death. Fuck this world. Love in what we hope for...but always flees from our grasp. In death can be found the only path to happiness. For the dead feel no pain. My family just attended my niece's graduation. She received her MBA with a perfect 4.0, and was selected for special honor to speak to the graduates. She worked a full time job and took care of a one year old, a three year old and her adopted teen son with the help of her husband. My niece's mother was not there, nor has she any interest in my niece's two beautiful children. She has only seen a couple of pictures of her grandchildren and has never held them or visited them. She abandoned my niece when my niece was only six years old. Today, my niece is the exact opposite to her own mother. but she is not bitter or angry. Instead when she addressed the graduates she spoke first of God and the importance of family and then of how despite adversity that we can all achieve our dreams and goals. She spoke of the importance of reaching out to others in need and of always encouraging those in our lives to never allow naysayers to discourage you from your chosen path. wisdom. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it's "pleasant", SOMEONE is not being totally HONEST, take it to the BANK. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68125676 Dominance and submission, Zeros and Ones abound, all is COMPROMISE. Emotional dependency is NOT love. PITY is not love. Humans have been conned by the weapons of BELIEF and GUILT. "The truth shall set you FREE"..Who said that? Who among you practices that? COWARDS ALL. "It is for SLAVES to LIE and FREE men to tell the TRUTH", not empty words. Take a brave step and offer your Mother the greatest of ALL gifts, the gift of TRUTH, and watch powerful things begin to happen in your miserable lives. In the end, ALL the filthy little secrets shall be unveiled anyway, why not get a JUMP on it, be proactive!!!! But then, THAT would take GUTS. end of wisdom  |
Lady Jane Smith Forum Administrator  05/08/2016 11:21 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. I feel you pain on this one.  Fate whispers to the warrior "You cannot withstand the storm" the warrior whispers back "I am the storm" INTJ-A  |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Mehitable Adams User ID: 63830259 United States05/08/2016 11:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | All you bible thumbers have the worst guilt complex ever seen. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72173117 Everyone who had an abusive parent and wishes them happy mother / father day is either a complete moron or.... a complete moron. Your guild complex tears you down, you will get sick fast, generate cancer or chronic deseases, such a mentally barrier is not healthy. If you want to solve your inner conflict, confront your abusive parent and demand answers and apologies, real honest apologies. further steps are depending on their reaction. After that you will feel like new born. There's some truth to that, but also when people grow older, the resentment or anger we may have had, very naturally, towards abusive parents, tends to dissipate as we realize they were only human too and screwed up and abused in their own lives. They did what they knew how to do, and I think it's important to learn to understand and forgive them. Better that than living in rage every day. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I miss my mother. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72172750 I spend mothers day alone. I spend every day alone for that matter. there are no friends....friends always stab you in the end. And family always dies or moves so far away they might as well be dead. I pray for death. Fuck this world. Love in what we hope for...but always flees from our grasp. In death can be found the only path to happiness. For the dead feel no pain. now listen, let's not spiral down into the pit there's always someone with a worse struggle than our own and God exhorts us to seek them out and offer these the strength that He has built up in us to share with those less fortunate. I know. It just seemed like a good day for a spiral. Ill get over it. I always do. But it always hits me on these days...how utterly alone i am now. My wife kicked me out yesterday. Divorce on the way. Kids are still with her. This is not a good day. oh snap |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 55303780 United States05/08/2016 11:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | TY for the thread, Salt. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55303780 Also, and it may have been mentioned already, but another painful part of today, is for those of us who have lost a child. :( It's built into our psyches to somehow know we'll eventually lose our parents, but it's not built-in thinking we'll ever outlive our children. :( Hugs to all those mother's out there who have lost a child and still feel the grief.  Yes, this is another aspect to the day. I'm so sorry for your loss. My BFF since high school lost her 5 year old daughter in a house fire in 1995. The suffering she's been through during the holiday seasons and missed birthdays, and every other day inbetween. Sending you lots of love today.  TY, hannah50! I'm so sorry your BFF has suffered the loss of a child, as well. How incredibly painful for her. She's blessed beyond words to have you there for her. and MUCH love to you xoxo |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. Thanks for your Thread. My Mother-in-law just passed in Jan 2016. She made my wife's and my life very miserable, especially in the last four years. The more we gave in time, resources, attention, love and concern she returned with hate and deceit. I never hated her but was always concerned for my wife of 37 years. Mom is gone but her hate still resonates in our lives none-the-less. Healing from a lifetime of this will be a challenge for my wife and I. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My heart is with my son today, my son with his radiant gentleness has no idea how beautiful he is and how much good fortune he deserves. 26 years ago he was only 2 I took a pic of him sniffing a yellow tulip on mother's day .. it was yesterday. Quoting: DawaSatso We have the unbelievable luck to be together tonight. We both know this full round space of our love can be taken any time. I do not miss my mother, even at the end there was no redemption so I have nothing to miss. Mother's day is about my son and no one else. amen |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My mother is my best friend, so while I can't personally relate to this post, I've seen this type of situation from the outside looking in. My ex-husbands mother came from a very abusive family & suffered mental illness as well. I saw how her destructive ways hurt my ex & all but destroyed him. It was an ugly relationship. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60682038 May you find strength & peace in your situation. |
| TKC User ID: 72164230 United States05/08/2016 11:28 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. My mother is not a good mother either, she has always chosen herself over me and my brother. She let us get molested and then married a drunk abusive man who beat us. She has never apologized and calls us liars. The man she married has money, which is why she married him. She has cut us out of her will and will not talk to either of us..we do not have permission to contact her..My little brother is the only one (Her son with my stepdad) she has anything to do with. We are throw away children as the counselor has said. I used to love her...but it's hard. Anytime I have tried giving her another chance, she makes me sorry about it. I will not go to her funeral if she dies since she had nothing to do with us in life. My brother and I have pretty much had to raise and take care of ourselves, while my little brother gets free homes free college etc. Not my brothers fault, I love him, but my mom has a mental problem for sure. Sorry..just had to state how I feel about Mothers day. I made it my job in life to make sure I do not treat my children the same way I was treated..to be a better person. Happy Mothers day to you Salt! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 72154622 United States05/08/2016 11:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Thank you for this thread, Salt. Very brave. I lost my mother in 2011. She had Borderline Personality Disorder and was an alcoholic and a piece of work. All my tears for her were used up long ago. I'm also the daughter of a Malignant Narcicissist father. That one is still alive. I'm going on three months no contact and this June will be the first Father's Day he gets a middle finger from me instead of a gift. So Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms out there who did/do their job lovingly...and sober. Y'all make more of a contribution to society than you know. ETA: I am so sorry any of us had to go through what we did. Congratulations to all those coming out of the F.O.G. |
| KonaCoffee User ID: 42715585 United States05/08/2016 11:33 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Salt my mom is a doozy too. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71675264 She has the same characteristics you mentioned. However, since I am probably way older than you, I think I can understand her now. She lost one of her legs when she was 40 and she was a beauty. Her loss made her a bitter woman. I was only 4 when this happen, and she took all her anger on me until I turned 15. Her behavior was inexcusable. I cannot forget. I have forgiven. She is now 91. I only deal with her on the phone very little. I have been at peace since I stopped seeing her. Sad but true. Thanks for this thread. There are lots of people out there that should have never have kids. That's so sad. I lost my left leg, and it made me a HAPPIER person, because I realized how precious life is. I guess we make our lives what we will. Shame she didn't see it that way. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 109229 United States05/08/2016 11:33 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My mom is great but my dad sucks. I don't know even one person with the perfect family. We all have atleast one shitty family member......I don't dwell on what a jerk my dad is, I try to focus on how good my mom is. Focus on the positive and the things you do have and not the things you don't have. That's my motto in life.....it's not always easy to do tho. I don't understand why you're going to this family function if you're not comfortable with it and don't want to go. I stopped going to family get togethers 30 years ago because I didn't like going to them, and I felt uncomfortable there......so I said no. You can say no. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71867223  Canada05/08/2016 11:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | knowing you have a voice and that it's heard is half the struggle i lost mine 4 years ago too, one of the lucky ones to have had a veritable saint for a mother she was a writer and a poet among many things, but the days when her baby's true voice would be found and made heard would not come until hers were said and done not the first time i've shared this, and won't be the last “Missing You” "About ten years from now", he said, "It might hurt less...", you being dead. A blink of eye, that time I know, Will pass on by with much to show Of gifts you gave I treasure dear Until their day to share appear. To birth my life was not enough; The Earth's charm seen 'tis not a bluff, You taught so well of life to trust. Without you now, at times, a bust - The sense of whom desires hand Of mine to take and make a stand. When helping hand helped shed your fear, Too young for memories seen clear, Elicits truth through stories told Preparing where my path unfolds. A wish you spoke I wish you wrote Oft flutters for a queasy float. Move on I will and grant you yours On through the never ending moors. Though memories fade day by day Of swimmer wading shelter made, The thoughts of you lift up my day. I'll not have it another way. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | you are so right Salt Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19359707 but my mother is my hero schizophrenia robbed her of many years but when she was well, she was the most generous, hard working mother everything she did was for someone else she taught my sister and I to sew at a very early age 40 years later we both live for the things she taught us thanks to my mother I learned tolerance, understanding,resilience and most importantly to love those who cannot love themselves her demons have loosed their hold on her she lives happily in our local nursing home she now lives in peace and is well cared for Forgiveness is the only remedy for what ails. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:40 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. Thank you....im sitting alone watching all this love on FB ..wishing I had my mom.i just want to scream all week...all the commercials and emails about making moms day. I am a mom but just lost mine in November due To A. Long battle with cancer .the holidays sucked but I hadto keep a Smile on for my four kids. I cared for her full time since last May. I havnt processed th last year it's been hell. I can't post on Fb how this hurts.... Showing my weakness only invites crazy jealous woman to hit me while I am down...I live in a cut throat place. Thank you for letting me post. I don't want to be called a whiner told it will get better or bring down the true friends I have who deserve a nice Mother's Day. To all the assholes who have a mom and don't help or call...I wish you two long years living in a nursing home by yourself..... Love you Mom post anyway let your voice be heard! get it outta ya. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:42 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. I know how you feel OP. Life would have been so much better if I had a normal, loving mother who thought more about her kids than herself. Some people really don't know how lucky they are to have a good mom that makes you want to do something special for her on Mother's Day. you know, my childhood was shit but i wouldnt trade it in for good one at this point because God used it to make me who i am today. sometimes the struggle has a higher purpose |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This thread is dedicated to all of those who have either lost their beloved mothers, had terrible mothers, spent a lifetime recovering, or had no mothers at all... Quoting: Salt i was in the card store day before yesterday and was picking out cards for people that i love very much and for a holiday event that my family is having tomorrow and i found myself tearing up in the doggone grocery aisle while i was reading the sentiments on these cards. i lost my mother four years ago, and buying cards for people OTHER than my mother was difficult in the extreme. what takes the difficulty level even higher is that my mother was a horrible mother. she had so many of her own issues that being a mother was probably the worst endeavor she could probably take. yeah, i'm one of those people that had a terrible experience as the daughter of a mentally ill, malignant narcissist, horrible mother. this thread is for anyone who is struggling with mother's day. Feel free to process thru or vent your own mother's day struggles here. i give you room and license to do so right here, right now. btw, in spite of my mother's problems and the 8 million miles of wreckage she left in her path, i still loved her very very much and still struggle with the loss of her presence. it's a weird situation for such as these. its bitter sweet.... God bless our moms. Even the messed up ones. Thank you for acknowledging some truth about this day for a good portion of us, Salt. My Mom was a good Mom. She had her faults, but she meant well most the time. We were great friends, and sometimes great enemies. She passed away in 1997. I have a son that I gave up for adoption (my only child) and we reunited in 1994 after I did a search for him. Found him in Folsom Prison doing an 8 year sentence. We had a great reunion for 3 years (in prison settings only, and via many letters) but became estranged 18 years ago. So, yes - Mother's Day is a mixed bag for me. Some years I buy flowers in honor of Moms memory, and other years I just let it go by like any other day. Sending love your way today. <3 |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good thread, Salt. Quoting: KonaCoffee I don't have to mess with either narcissist parent for Mother's or Father's Day. Both are JW's. So I just send cookies or flowers to my Ma in law who lives way too far to visit. Works out fine. I had a birthson whose bday falls on Mother's Day sometimes, and I lost my son two years ago, he was 21. To top it off, my cousin buried his 16 year old son yesterday, today must be horrible for his mother. I appreciate your sentiment. Bless these women, good, bad, gone, ill, in mourning or otherwise. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My girlfriend is like 32 or something (sad I don't know for sure.) Pretty young. Her mother died ten years ago as of last Thanksgiving. Every mothers day is difficult for her, because she really loved and was close to her. Quoting: ScoutsOUT Right now we don't have any kids, and she doesn't have any from previous boyfriends. She sees these "memes" online from moms who talk about the only reason they live is their kids, and without their kids they would be nothing. This really demeans her. She can be very emotional at times, and society puts so much pressure on women to reproduce by a certain age. We are intentionally trying to create a foundation so when we do have children, they won't have terrible lives. She has a very fulfilling life, she is productive, has her own business, and is loved by her friends and family. Yet these holidays hurt her. I don't want to say it's nice that you created this thread, because I'm sure it comes from a place of hurt.. But, I'm glad you brought this sensitive subject up. 5*. Hope you have a good weekend! the struggle is real... |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 70731748 United States05/08/2016 11:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My mom was killed in a horrible car accident decades ago. At the time, it completely devastated me. It took years to work through it, along with losing MANY more family members. For a long time, I felt like an orphan. Quoting: YanceyDoodleDandy I don't feel that way any longer. It's a mystery in that many of the things my mother tried to teach me when she was alive, have been fulfilled in my understanding after her death. Happy Mother's Day! May God's grace be with you all.  |
