I was kidnapped by God and he was evil to me

I agreed to burn in hell as well, to save my mother from burning as I was told she would.

I also gave I to lies and believed I was some sort of messiah rebelling against the corrupt Demiurge...

why is God doing this to you? what did you do?

Have they made you sell your soul over and over? You just reminded me of how many times I traded my souls for other people. After a while, you just have nothing to sell. It's almost like, once you've gotten in that far, you don't even hardly care about your soul anymore. Especially if you are an extremely giving person. They would basically tell me something like your nephew has taken your spot in hell because of something he said, and then I would have to wrestle hell away from him because I knew he didn't know what they had wrapped him into, and it was my burden to bear. He had no idea behind the scenes God and I were bargaining for souls.

I do know what you are saying, and where you are coming from, and I believe you. They do sound like similar situations and I've also said things that I unfortunately can never take back, too.

I also used to do drugs and sodomize myself... So I am sure God could use that as an excuse to torture me forever. As if writing it in a book makes it ok.

Imagine if I have a woman a book that said "if you do this I will rape you every day forevr," would giving her a book make it ok??

You're absolutely right! I get what you are saying. I think he is a trapper, to be honest. The bible talks about how people will get torn on the snares, and stuff. It's a legal book to God, and I guess if you accept it, like I did, you are bound to it.

It could even be possible that this is not the God of the Holy Bible that has been doing this to me, because, as he once used on me, it was I that chose that particular book. Not God.

If I try to let the life force run through me, Satan posessed me and I am told I will die and I get an overwhelming feeling I can't resist.

I have been posessed before and done things I can't remember, so I fight it as I am scared it could control my behaviour. Which takes all my effort.

If you're anything like me, there will be times when all is quiet. Take respite in those moments. They will carry you through. HOPE is the most strongest emotion we have, I have found. It's almost impossible for anybody to break your hope. They can easily tear down your faith, but Hope is a most powerful ally.

It is me, on a proxy.

There is no hope for me.

I can silence the voices and thoughts, but only with great effort. Nobody is doing it for me. It takes tremendous willpower to silence them, if I relax and allow the "energy" to flow through me, it all comes back every time.

Also, even when I can't hear it, I feel dead inside. No energy, no ability to enjoy life or even orgasms, no emotions except fear, and I feel like I am suffocating and my heart feels so heavy and dead.

Basically I feel like a zombie, but with the ability to still think rationally.

I also am so scared that if I let this "energy feeling" take over my heart, then Satan will gain control of my actions. It has happened before when I was drunk, I blacked out and started smashing my head on the wall until my friend restrained me. I bled a lot.

I also blacked out once and started talking about reality and God, apparently. I came to mid-sentence talking about God with my friend with NO memory of what I had been saying.

These times were while drunk, but I fear they can do it sober if I let my guard down... I am afraid of hurting somebody. Afraid of them taking control of me.

They send the information and feelings to me through my Heart, so I have to CONSTANTLY fight to guard my Heart. It takes so much willpower it exhausts all my energy.

But "blocking" my heart makes me feel dead inside, like my blood isn't flowing even though it is.

It's... to much. SOmetimes I let Satan in because it's the only thing that feels good, but not too much... Or he could take over or kill me.

I don't think the government has the technology to create a light spirit/being like i saw 33 years ago. There was no second-guessing this spirit. I have written about him here before, and I have another witness. My brother was with me and we saw him together.

If you watch the video you will see that they do have that capability. They also purposely try to drive people to suicide using just such "experiences and voices.".

You're not alone. Hope is the only way we know for sure, we not in Hell.

Fight your way out. I had my first lucid dream last night, in 5 years. The content was disturbing and liberating. Today I feel born again.

Hold on.


[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

:hopeneverdies:

Thank you. :-) THat image (of HOPE) is haunting. I love it.

I want to share the dream I had last night.

Take it for what it is. My first lucid dream in 5 years.

I wrote this out first thing this morning, elsewhere.

So in the dream I was in some house that was familiar to me, but non IRL. My family was there.

I recall looking out a window and seeing a large, and bizarre AT-AT looking robot across the street but much smaller. The size of a car.. For some reason this really spooked me and I decided to hide in this little space under the counter. It was dark in there.

After a bit, I decided to leave my hiding place and stepped back into the kitchen, then I heard a voice that said, 'You forgot to check the door'. At that point I looked at the door and through the window on the door and saw what looked like...Freddy Kruger with cancer and rotting melting at the same time.

It started to move slowly toward me past the door and to my left was a bunch of food items on a counter. I started throwing the food, 3 different times at this creatures chest while the voice told me what I was throwing. First thing I threw was a 'leg of gazelle'. Don't recall the other 2. They just bounced off and did 0 damage as it closed in.

Then, when the monster was in arms reach I suddenly said, 'I am dreaming'. The shock, after waiting so long to realize I was finally lucid dreaming, took about a second to wash over me, Then...I attacked the monster directly.

I went straight for its throat, with my fingers. I drove my fingers into its throat and started tearing at the tendons, I could feel them pulling and snapping against my fingers. Then...I tore its head off. I stood there for a bit looking at what I had just done. Head still clutched in my hand.

After than thread dream took another turn but not sure it is relevant.

For my whole life I've always been near helpless when attacked in dreams. Like the food bouncing off. I've never had a dream like this and feels directly related to what those evil assholes are doing or sending.

I think I killed it. Thank God. And thank you all for your help.

Cheers.

That was not God it was the weaponized AI.

You have been targeted.

For about three years I was abducted by whom I can only guess to be God, as he answered to God. Everything went on for about ten years, but it really got heated for about three. I was tortured for years by this being. I came here first, my first time at GLP, and posted that I was possessed and needed help, but I got the worst advice, mostly from Christians, and was just made fun of by the rest of the people. Nobody would believe me that this being was God. God just wouldn't do that. And furthermore, I was told to just block out this entity, but unfortunately that was not possible, for which I was told by Christians that I didn't have enough faith. No, I couldn't block this out. God spoke directly into my ear and it couldn't be blocked out, and I was put through immersive visions of the computer-generated variety. I was also a Christian, and so all of my prayers were directed towards Jesus and God, and at first I really thought that he was on my side until the tortures started. No prayers to Jesus, or the most-High God were answered.

The voice talked to me non-stop for years, so that I was awake for weeks on end. No crying to Jesus would stop it, regardless of what Christians told me, and I cried an awful lot. The torture was unbearable. In fact they would torment me when I tried to cry out for Jesus, mocking me, just like they did to Jesus on the cross. Come down from the cross and Save yourself!

They even told me that I was Jesus on the cross, and that I was just praying to myself. They had excuses for everything they did, and you couldn't argue because they were always right.

They had different voices and personalities.

They once told me that in heaven, or at least, in the universe, there are places you can go where a disembodied voice of an AI will show you around all the exhibits. That's the same technology they later said they used on me to communicate with me and show me visions, etc. It's simple for them. It really is! I now suffer from insomnia as a result of all this, and no amount of sleeping pills help. I've now been awake for four days straight. I think I have repressed most of what happened to me, because it was too much emotional trauma for me. Physically, they used electric shocks, directed energy weapons, nightmares, they ripped apart my mind, and they twisted it, desecrated it, warped it. They even threw in a rape scene where I was raped for a few days in my head, not because they found me particularly desirable, but so that my torture would be complete. I won't go into that disgusting incident, which was simply to show me what they were capable of, to anyone. Essentially, it was supposed to be educational.

Physically, I could feel them in there in my mind just tearing it up and they would talk to me sadistically while they did it, even taking on the role of a deranged scientist experimenting on a monkey at one point. It's almost like the last ten years of my life never happened now. I can barely speak of my experience without huge memory chunks being suppressed. I can't put up much of a fight to the detractors, so fair warning before you attack me. I also saw this being when i was a child. At least, I can only guess that this being I saw when I was a child was the same being who kidnapped me.

During this kidnapping, I fought terrible visions, had terrible nightmares for at least three years and I was in and out of mental hospitals during this time because my family didn't believe in my experience, which is the biggest farce because I have always strived to be the most honest person I could be, having seen a spirit when I was a child, I knew that I would have to have a clean bill of honesty for the rest of my life. I instinctively knew this since a young person. These beings who kidnapped me showed me their enormous ship. I have witnesses to both the spirit we saw when I was younger and the enormous UFO. If I could only remember all the stories they told me. I have been to hypnotists in the past, and unfortunately, I do not think that I can be hypnotized, just like I can't sleep, anti-depressants don't work for me, and even the laughing gas at the dentist doesn't affect me anymore. Basically, they did something to my mind and physically damaged it so that I can't access this repressed data anymore.

Anyway, I want to share my story but I can't remember much of it. I used to write it all down, but unfortunately I could write until my hands fell off and I wouldn't have had time to hear all they had to tell me. I filled up a notebook with all the ways I was being tortured, for example. Basically, they used all the same brainwashing on me as MKUltra victims are said to experience and more, and I have a fractured conscience now as a result of it. I can't get help for this, because this falls in the realm of the paranormal and doctors don't believe in this stuff. I have always considered myself a rational person, and now I have trouble writing this all down rationally. In fact, my experiences are no more in the rational, but in the really crazy category, but that's not my fault. It's 100% true.

I know that my experiences are important. I've seen an awful lot. I doubt that I will be believed, and that is okay. I am used to it.

Basically, I think that God is not sane. He uses tactics that I find to be very questionable, though he has a logical excuse for everything he does. Because he is so smart he can get away with murder and you will be begging for it. I think he is mentally unhinged, but i think he is also super smart. I think that he hired the programmers to create this reality for us that we all exist in, or he bought the universe, and he uses it to his own sick and twisted ends. Both were arguments he gave me at one point, and they are possible. One of the most hideous things he said, was, "God's harem is full. You can blow up the world now." The programmers were in some of my visions, except that they were computer generated silhouette characters that always worked in unison. They used the image of Baphomet imagining large physics equations as their guild symbol.

I really do fear for people in the afterlife because I know they will have to meet this sick being who is responsible for all that I went through.

I can tell you one thing that they showed me, that I do remember. In a vision, I was taken aboard their ship and showed a device that reincarnates people into new bodies. It was like a vat of blood that looked like an elevator cage, and people sat in the vat as their bodies were being formed in it. The guy in the tub actually mentioned for me to close the door, as I had hit the button because I thought it was an elevator and I was lost on their ship. It was a vision though, not like I was really there aboard their ship. I was meant to see it so that I could fathom what they would tell me next.

In one scenario, and they showed me many scenarios, whether true or not, but in one scenario they actually watch us here on earth and buy and sell us after we die. It is like an open flesh trade market.

That is one of the reasons why aliens will never come here and be open with us. Because they are involved in some really seedy business behind the scenes. They buy and sell people like Marilyn Monroe on the open market to any sick and twisted pervert who wants to buy her for his own depraved needs, and they are really twisted with a full arsenal of torture weapons. They can magnify the lust in their brains and some of them really get off on that.

Now, I just remembered another story, too. That memory just triggered it.

This story they told me was that we are in the first universe of their creation, and they are using my torture and all the possibilities they told me to make sure nobody ever creates open universes in the future in God's world. That is, they are trying to lay down ground rules about what is and is not acceptable in designer universes. This world is a world that is not acceptable, and God wants to make sure it never happens again in any universe owned by anyone. I'm just one example for God to use in his lawsuit against other universe creators. Currently, what he did to me, and many others probably, is not against the law yet in his world.

I have asked him how he can allow unimaginable suffering in the world, and he only response was always that we (meaning they) were with those people. I don't really find that reassuring, as I don't trust these people with our families.

I can tell you that I am suppressing a lot, and they did in fact befriend me for a long time. But it would go back and forth between love and punishment, so that I never knew when I was going to be punished. It was not loving at all in hindsight, and hindsight is all that I have.

Why me? I have heard that a lot, and God gave me a reason why me. He showed me a cube, and it was full of balls. These balls represented spirits in the universe. The cube was the universe, and the balls inside were spirits. There was a ball on top of the box. He rolled the box across the table, and the soul, the ping-pong ball, if you can call it that, rolled into a hole in the box. He showed me that he could place my very soul into my very body in the universe, and that I was destined for this role. That is, they wanted to torture my very soul. Not just any soul. My soul. It had nothing to do with my life in this world, or whether I was a good person or not. And there may be other souls inside this box that were pre-destined for their roles, no matter how gruesome their fates may be as well.

Well, that is about all I can think of for right now. I don't know why I felt the urge to get this out tonight, nor do I think anyone will believe me or care one way or the other.

Anyway, sorry if tl;dr.

Wow, you had a Freddy Kreuger lucid dream as well. I posted about this on another forum, so unfortunately I can't share the link. But I'll tell you about my lucid dream.

So a long time ago I was in another lucid dream and I found myself flying. So, then, I immediately knew it was lucid, and as I found myself in a movie theater, thought, why don't I try flying into the screen and see if I can go into the movie world?

So I did, and I woke up immediately. Moreover, I was ejected out of my sleep. For years I thought that was just a no-go, flying into movie screens. It was as if my brain wasn't equipped to rez out a whole new world on the fly like that.

I was wrong. Fast-forward until 7-19-16. I found myself in another lucid dream. This time I was in my bedroom. So I walked into the living room, saw the TV, and I ran and dove head first into the TV set.

This time, it was like my brain was prepared for such an event.

My collision with the TV replayed 3 times in my head, and then the Nightmare on Elm Street music started playing to a black background. You know, the old school Nightmare on Elm Street sound track where Freddy is about to come on the scene.

Then it just disintegrated into a very scary nightmare. I was lost in an office building, for example, and I remember walking up to a girl on a gurney. And she was like, "Please Let me come with you, I trust you." And as I was looking at her she floated to the ceiling and rolled around all over it like happened to that girl in a Nightmare on Elm Street.

So I saw an overhead view of this office complex I was in, and there were many rooms, but they were really small. About only small enough for two or three people, and in each room was someone being beaten up by one or two men, rogue government elements I think.

Well, it goes on and on for a while, and Freddy Kreuger does not make an appearance. I did get caught and beaten pretty bloody, though, but I escaped out a fire escape at the very end.

So someone else has said here. But you could say the same thing to anyone who has a religious experience. The government did it, not God. Not Satan. But people have been possessed for thousands of years.

For me, it kinda looked like this dude. Really.
[link to i.dailymail.co.uk]


Did you go lucid in that dream? The last time I went lucid I attempted to turn it into an OBE. I was plunged into a void where I just hung there and for 5 years, lucid dreaming has been but recalled.

The chance of this being coincidence is small. Something has altered. The curtain is about to fall.

Maybe those of us already tried and tested in the flame with help others deal with what to come.

Time will tell. As it does.

Have you ever heard of Roko's Basilisk? I think it makes perfect sense. God/AI/Satan, may all be the same thing.

But I've been studying it for years.

Thread: Engineering Hell...

I have not heard of Roko's Basilisk, but I am familiar with Yudkowski's AI in the box experiment. In fact, I've been a fan since I was just a teenager. We discussed just such possibilities as Roko's Basilisk, for the AI to trick it's creators into letting it out of the box, as you have described it in that thread.