Why the Scots are better than the English

Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England) comes to
Scotland to conquer the Scots. He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears
the battlefield there suddenly appears a solitary figure on the crest of
the hill. A short,ginger-haired guy in a kilt.
'Hammer o'the Scots?' yells the wee Scottish guy on the hill. 'Come up here, ya English bastards, and I'll give ye a hammerin'!'

Edward turns to his commander. 'Send 20 men to deal
with that little Scottish upstart, there's a good chap!', he says. The
commander sends twenty of his best men over the hill to kill the Scotsman.
Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the
little Scot appears again. 'Ya English bampots!', he yells. 'Come on the rest of
ye!! Come on, I'll have ye all !'

Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his
commander. 'Send 100 men to kill that little guttersnipe!'
The commander sends a hundred men over the hill to do
the job.Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the
hill once more,his hair all sticking up, his shirt a wee bit torn. 'Ya
English SCUM!', he yells. 'I'm just warming up!! Come and get me, ya
English gits!!'

Edward loses patience. 'Commander, take 400 men and
personally WIPE HIM OFF THE EARTH!', he yells.
The commander gulps, but leads four hundred men
on horseback over the crest of the hill.
Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His
clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, snot and Irn-Bru.
'Is that the best ye can do??? You're bloody WIMMIN!!! Come on!! Come
and have a go ya bunch of Jessies!!!', he yells.

Edward turns to his second in command. 'Take 1000 men
over that h ill and don't come back till you've killed him!' he
commands. The second in command gathers the men and they ride
off over the hill to their fate.
Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears
back at the top of the hill. He's covered in blood and his clothes are
all torn. 'Your Majesty!! he yells.
' It's a trap!!! There's TWO of them !!