How do you get rid of someone who makes your life Hell and won't go away?

Just grow the fuck up and tell her to fuck the fuck off.

She sounds really depressed, maybe suicidal. Before you dump her completely and make her more depressed maybe you should tell her to get help, a counselor or psychologist etc. for her own good.With headlines like that in her emails she needs to talk to somebody who can give her advice.

I think its because was fucking her, and now he's all paranoid that she's got all the numbers in his phone, so she's got something on him, too. He's afraid to be exposed. Otherwise, let her call away.....guys with nothing to hide dont care if a psycho chick goes psycho. Just proves his point further. Guys with something to hide? Act like he is.

Negative people unconsciously feed of other people's energy but taking up that energy as you give them yours in listening and paying attention or even you're emotionally overinvolving yourself in her energy because of codependency issue of your own you may have.

At the same time, your perturbance and disturbance with her behavior is even adding more of a connection from you to her and vice versa. Meaning, because you get disturbed and so bothered by her you are still giving her your energy, and believe me, she feels it, as ovbiously so do you.

I have a suggestion. First, pray for her to get healing in any way she can. Send her in your thoughts positive energy for her to find her own way.
In other words, start accepting your negative feelings towards her but then let them go and send her good thoughts.

Can you deatch from her with love? Because if you keep trying to run away from her, or detach in disgust, she will keep going to you for more.

Now, if you detach from her with prayer and good thoughts, she will not be as likely to keep coming back, because she's not feeling her effects on you.

When she talks to you, just listen to her, don't try to change her or talk back. Simply say okay, okay, that must be hard, okay, okay.
She will eventually get bored because you're not feeding back to her what she needs or expects from you. She will stop contacting YOU because she starts to have little effect on you.

At the same time, ask yourself what is in you that has the need to rescue people or the feeling that you cannot say no to someone. Usually it's our need to please and not face the discomfort of the feeling we get when we are assertive and we hurt someone or stand up for ourselves.

This in turn will teach you about yourself and also release this person at the same time.

Good luck!

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

Just grow the fuck up and tell her to fuck the fuck off.


How is this not obvious to OPie?





I think its because was fucking her, and now he's all paranoid that she's got all the numbers in his phone, so she's got something on him, too. He's afraid to be exposed. Otherwise, let her call away.....guys with nothing to hide dont care if a psycho chick goes psycho. Just proves his point further. Guys with something to hide? Act like he is.

It has nothing to do with me being a "pussy" or not having a "spine." If only it was that simple.

Have you ever heard the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" That's how I've had to deal with her so far.

I accidentally left my cell phone at her house once so I know she has everyone's number in my phone book: friends, relatives, employers... The last time I told her I thought we needed to "go our separate ways" she made threats I won't even post in a public forum. I have to handle her like a venomous snake - always gently, always trying not to get bitten.

Thank you! Your advice feels right to me. I'll start praying for her and her family again. I'll leave this problem in God's hands as I try to walk away from the attachment. Thank you so much!

She sounds really depressed, maybe suicidal. Before you dump her completely and make her more depressed maybe you should tell her to get help, a counselor or psychologist etc. for her own good.With headlines like that in her emails she needs to talk to somebody who can give her advice.



She's always been depressed, and often suicidal. We've known each other since High School. The relationship has always been strictly Platonic. She's had 5 kids and countless relationships. Been married several times. I've tried and tried to help her - spent thousands of dollars bailing her out of debt and bad situations she's gotten herself into. I'm her "safety net" and if she thinks she lost that there's no telling what she'd do to herself, her kids, etc.

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

Negative people unconsciously feed of other people's energy but taking up that energy as you give them yours in listening and paying attention or even you're emotionally overinvolving yourself in her energy because of codependency issue of your own you may have.

At the same time, your perturbance and disturbance with her behavior is even adding more of a connection from you to her and vice versa. Meaning, because you get disturbed and so bothered by her you are still giving her your energy, and believe me, she feels it, as ovbiously so do you.

I have a suggestion. First, pray for her to get healing in any way she can. Send her in your thoughts positive energy for her to find her own way.
In other words, start accepting your negative feelings towards her but then let them go and send her good thoughts.

Can you deatch from her with love? Because if you keep trying to run away from her, or detach in disgust, she will keep going to you for more.

Now, if you detach from her with prayer and good thoughts, she will not be as likely to keep coming back, because she's not feeling her effects on you.

When she talks to you, just listen to her, don't try to change her or talk back. Simply say okay, okay, that must be hard, okay, okay.
She will eventually get bored because you're not feeding back to her what she needs or expects from you. She will stop contacting YOU because she starts to have little effect on you.

At the same time, ask yourself what is in you that has the need to rescue people or the feeling that you cannot say no to someone. Usually it's our need to please and not face the discomfort of the feeling we get when we are assertive and we hurt someone or stand up for ourselves.

This in turn will teach you about yourself and also release this person at the same time.

Good luck!

The last time I told her I thought we needed to "go our separate ways" she made threats I won't even post in a public forum.

Just a little food for thought -

My husband and I had a friend who, while not nearly the nightmare you describe, was absolutely incapable of being positive, constantly fucking up her life and constantly talking to us about her failures, her crises, her disappointments.

Finally, a couple of months ago, I just couldn't take the negativity anymore. We live in California, the economy sucks, my husband was out of work and hadn't had a single call from a hundred resumes sent out. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I blocked her emails and blocked her number on our telephones. That alone was a much-needed relief.

But then some magic happened. Within two weeks, my husband had a job, not a great job, but a job. Over the next three weeks he not only had interviews with the two companies he really wanted to work for, but he found himself in the enviable position of having to CHOOSE which job he wanted most. And now he's a happily employed man again.

You've GOT to get the negativity out of your life. Even when you're not thinking about it, not feeling it, it's clinging to you like a bad smell that won't go away and affects your life in ways you are not even aware of, and won't realize until it's gone.

End it quickly and decisively, deal with the immediate fallout, and move on. You'll thank yourself later.

Just a little food for thought -

My husband and I had a friend who, while not nearly the nightmare you describe, was absolutely incapable of being positive, constantly fucking up her life and constantly talking to us about her failures, her crises, her disappointments.

Finally, a couple of months ago, I just couldn't take the negativity anymore. We live in California, the economy sucks, my husband was out of work and hadn't had a single call from a hundred resumes sent out. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I blocked her emails and blocked her number on our telephones. That alone was a much-needed relief.

But then some magic happened. Within two weeks, my husband had a job, not a great job, but a job. Over the next three weeks he not only had interviews with the two companies he really wanted to work for, but he found himself in the enviable position of having to CHOOSE which job he wanted most. And now he's a happily employed man again.

You've GOT to get the negativity out of your life. Even when you're not thinking about it, not feeling it, it's clinging to you like a bad smell that won't go away and affects your life in ways you are not even aware of, and won't realize until it's gone.

End it quickly and decisively, deal with the immediate fallout, and move on. You'll thank yourself later.



anyone check this on snoops yet?

Just a little food for thought -

My husband and I had a friend who, while not nearly the nightmare you describe, was absolutely incapable of being positive, constantly fucking up her life and constantly talking to us about her failures, her crises, her disappointments.

Finally, a couple of months ago, I just couldn't take the negativity anymore. We live in California, the economy sucks, my husband was out of work and hadn't had a single call from a hundred resumes sent out. I just couldn't take it anymore, so I blocked her emails and blocked her number on our telephones. That alone was a much-needed relief.

But then some magic happened. Within two weeks, my husband had a job, not a great job, but a job. Over the next three weeks he not only had interviews with the two companies he really wanted to work for, but he found himself in the enviable position of having to CHOOSE which job he wanted most. And now he's a happily employed man again.

You've GOT to get the negativity out of your life. Even when you're not thinking about it, not feeling it, it's clinging to you like a bad smell that won't go away and affects your life in ways you are not even aware of, and won't realize until it's gone.

End it quickly and decisively, deal with the immediate fallout, and move on. You'll thank yourself later.

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

I don't understand the passive aggressive nature of many of you posting. "We blocked the email. We blocked the phone number."

Why dont you CONFRONT these people first? Give and get closure. You aren't doing anyone any favors, including yourselves by AVOIDING. Negative people are everywhere. But it takes a real friend and a compassionate soul to calmly and firmly explain to someone that their negativity is not only hurting them, but you and your friendship.

No, they wont like it. Yes, they will be hurt and pissed. But someday, they may just respect you for it. You can then live your life knowing that you FACED your problems and did the right thing. If they still dont get the message, THEN you take measures to block someone.

Since like attracts like, maybe look in the mirrors and see how this person was even there. Its pretty "negative" to just cut a person out of your life and self centered to judge them as being "too negative for me." Grow some balls and BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Otherwise, no one will understand how they are affecting others, IF NO ONE TELLS THEM. Wimps, seriously.

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

I had a real psycho "friend" once. I knew here from high school> It was a big mistake on my part to have anything to do with this negative, self centered B*&*&. I could tell you stories of things she tried to do to me; but IT would read like a mystery novel.
Anyway, I got rid of her. This is how you do it. You stop all communication with her right now. Get rid of your email account. Make another one and never use that one again. One good way to get rid of your current email account is to put in a password you cant remember. Give your new account out to peoeple you only want to keep in touch with.
If it means getting rid of your current phone number do it; and only give it out to people you want to have it and that will not tell this "friend".
Are you able to move? Do you live in a mortagaged house or a rented apartment? If you live in a place where it is easy to move; I recommend this.
This is what I had to do. The miserable "friend" I had from high school was psycho. She was following me and I almost had to get a restaining order against her. She is a potentially dangerous person.
You may have to cut all ties. If she is not truely "psycho" she will get the point after you get rid of your phone number and email adress and get new ones. You may not have to move, but if she is truely a psycho, she could become a danger.

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

I had a real psycho "friend" once. I knew here from high school> It was a big mistake on my part to have anything to do with this negative, self centered B*&*&. I could tell you stories of things she tried to do to me; but IT would read like a mystery novel.
Anyway, I got rid of her. This is how you do it. You stop all communication with her right now. Get rid of your email account. Make another one and never use that one again. One good way to get rid of your current email account is to put in a password you cant remember. Give your new account out to peoeple you only want to keep in touch with.
If it means getting rid of your current phone number do it; and only give it out to people you want to have it and that will not tell this "friend".
Are you able to move? Do you live in a mortagaged house or a rented apartment? If you live in a place where it is easy to move; I recommend this.
This is what I had to do. The miserable "friend" I had from high school was psycho. She was following me and I almost had to get a restaining order against her. She is a potentially dangerous person.
You may have to cut all ties. If she is not truely "psycho" she will get the point after you get rid of your phone number and email adress and get new ones. You may not have to move, but if she is truely a psycho, she could become a danger.


We've known each other so long, she knows everything about me. She lives 5 miles away. When I went out of town for a couple of months once, she told me she'd taken the city bus by my house several times just to "see my car." The email thing won't work for me either. I run a couple of websites and she'd just message me through the contact forms.

I just wish she was normal. Sadly, the more I talk about her the more I feel sorry for again. This sucks. :(

I don't understand the passive aggressive nature of many of you posting. "We blocked the email. We blocked the phone number."

Why dont you CONFRONT these people first? Give and get closure. You aren't doing anyone any favors, including yourselves by AVOIDING. Negative people are everywhere. But it takes a real friend and a compassionate soul to calmly and firmly explain to someone that their negativity is not only hurting them, but you and your friendship.

No, they wont like it. Yes, they will be hurt and pissed. But someday, they may just respect you for it. You can then live your life knowing that you FACED your problems and did the right thing. If they still dont get the message, THEN you take measures to block someone.

Since like attracts like, maybe look in the mirrors and see how this person was even there. Its pretty "negative" to just cut a person out of your life and self centered to judge them as being "too negative for me." Grow some balls and BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Otherwise, no one will understand how they are affecting others, IF NO ONE TELLS THEM. Wimps, seriously.

I have a "friend" who makes my life miserable. I could give examples, but it would turn into a short novel. She's nothing but trouble and everything she touches turns to crap. She's ruined more lives than you can imagine. If I didn't know better I'd say she was cursed or demonically possessed - she's definitely mentally ill. Even talking to her through email is emotionally draining. Everything she talks about is negative and she's her own worst enemy, so there's no helping her. I stopped seeing her or talking to her on the phone 4 months ago - and my life is getting better - but she continues to haunt me online. Here are some subject lines from emails she's sent me lately:

Hit me in the head...hard
Another week...potential Hell
Kill me now
To make things worse...
Shoot me now
To make matters worse
Why f*cking try?
More Hell
Hell warmed over
F*uck life
Another day in Hell


You get the point. You can imagine the joy of reading the contents of these emails. They're always the same.

I've tried ignoring her messages but if I don't bring a present to her pity party it makes things worse. She starts going psycho.

I went by my local Wal-Mart the other day and saw someone who looked like her in the parking lot. I had an anxiety attack that lasted over 20 minutes.

Anyone know how to deal with people like this???

I had a real psycho "friend" once. I knew here from high school> It was a big mistake on my part to have anything to do with this negative, self centered B*&*&. I could tell you stories of things she tried to do to me; but IT would read like a mystery novel.
Anyway, I got rid of her. This is how you do it. You stop all communication with her right now. Get rid of your email account. Make another one and never use that one again. One good way to get rid of your current email account is to put in a password you cant remember. Give your new account out to peoeple you only want to keep in touch with.
If it means getting rid of your current phone number do it; and only give it out to people you want to have it and that will not tell this "friend".
Are you able to move? Do you live in a mortagaged house or a rented apartment? If you live in a place where it is easy to move; I recommend this.
This is what I had to do. The miserable "friend" I had from high school was psycho. She was following me and I almost had to get a restaining order against her. She is a potentially dangerous person.
You may have to cut all ties. If she is not truely "psycho" she will get the point after you get rid of your phone number and email adress and get new ones. You may not have to move, but if she is truely a psycho, she could become a danger.


We've known each other so long, she knows everything about me. She lives 5 miles away. When I went out of town for a couple of months once, she told me she'd taken the city bus by my house several times just to "see my car." The email thing won't work for me either. I run a couple of websites and she'd just message me through the contact forms.

I just wish she was normal. Sadly, the more I talk about her the more I feel sorry for again. This sucks. :(

Well, from what you are telling me, it sounds like YOU have not truely decided to break all ties yet; in your heart.
If you truely want to get her out of your life; you will find a way. It sounds like you have a pretty deep history with her and it would be difficult to cut all ties quickly; but if you truely want to do it, you will find a way.
You are still in the undecided mode. One day this ; one day that...
She souds like she does have potential psycho characteristics. These you really must watch out for. I am warning you about people like this. If they feel like they are "loosing" you they take measures to keep you around in their miserable lives. I know ; I dealt with a person like this.
What you want to watch out for is any form of decietful crafty planning on her part. Like, say, tring to get plan and plot things against you; using the courts, anything legal this type of thing.
These people can really be very dangerous. They do not have any sense of boundaries, normalcy, this kind of thing.

Be careful
and God Bless you
Good luck in your decision