Bad Joke Thread (or Joke Thread-You Decide)

Who touched my no no places when I was little?

My step father.

how many jokes are too many jokes for this thread?
answer: 3 so far

Oh yeah,

A man went to a zoo that only had one dog as an exhibit.

It was a shih-tzu.

My grandfather died in the Holocaust....

He fell out of his guard tower....

What flavor is that bread?

Rye.

So there was this guy. He was mighty thirsty and wanted to quench his thirst at the saloon.

He pushed the swinging doors open, and stepped cross the threshold. His left foot got snagged on a nail sticking up.

The man fell...............................To his death!!!

Freak accident and all.

I'm so sorry. What allied forces country was he fighting for? The US?

where did all the other animals go..were they abducted
and why wasn't the zoo closed and an investigation started.
There are some major concerns here..Where is this zoo
located..and I would have thought I would have heard more
about the missing animals on this site. I think that guy
visiting the zoo would be the number one suspect

What do you say to a black guy in a suit?


"Will the defendant please rise?"

That is awful but you have to admit it's funny.

Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

How do you fit 6 million jewish people in a volkswagen?

Put them in the ashtray.

Ba dum dum.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Your cleavage is very admirable, i want to lay my head on them..

*RIMSHOT*

It's a joke......
My grandfather died in the Holocaust.... (He was a Nazi guard at a concentration camp) He fell out of his guard tower....

Tee hee, I get it now. It's totally ironic.

So, have you ever experienced anything of extreme similarity????

how many men does it take to tile a bathroom ??


two if you slice them really thin ....



what red and green and screams ???


kermit the frog in a blender




what do you call and underground train with twenty professors sitting in it ???


a tube of smarties

The chicken and the egg had sex....later the chicken, looking disgruntled said.."Well, that solves THAT riddle"

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

I can't put it down...

A Native American walks into a shrink's office.

He says, "Doctor, doctor, I can't figure out who I am. I'm two people in the same body. I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam. I'm a tee-pee. I'm a wig-wam. What the HELL AM I?"


Doc says, "Settle down, you're two tents."

My wife wanted to have sex in the backseat and she wanted me to drive

Whats black, white and red and has trouble getting through revolving doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.

I just got done reading the book Increase Your Memory in 5 Easy Steps. Step 1 was....ah...you're supposed to....oh, never mind!

Tee hee, I like it when you said the word............um........that one word over there. No the other word..........I wish I could just tell you what it says but I can't read.

A dead baby is like a lab coat

If you wear one to the opera people will give you dirty looks

I got a good one, always makes me laugh... Women's Rights... 8D!

Who fed more people, Jesus or Hitler?

Hitler - Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

Guy goes into a hardware store and says I need some 2x4. Guy behind the counter says how long do you want it? Other guy says I think I'll keep it.

How come you can't tell jokes about the Jonestown massacre? The punch-line is too long.
True utterances by students
"I can't find my camoflage"

"My glue got stuck"

"I need red paint"
(For what?)
"I need it for a while"

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.