The VOID | |
aether User ID: 77772031 Spain 09/05/2019 05:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 05:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I know someone who was diagnosed with "laughing depression" or smiling depression. Those who are most surprised to realize they're experiencing some form of depression are those suffering from “smiling depression.” Most people haven’t even heard of the term. The definition of smiling depression is: appearing happy to others, literally smiling, while internally suffering with depressive symptoms. Smiling depression often goes undetected. Those suffering from it often discount their own feelings and brush them aside. They might not even be aware of their depression or want to acknowledge their symptoms due to a fear of being considered “weak.” Suicide can be a particular threat for individuals suffering with smiling depression. Typically, people suffering with classic, severe depression might have suicidal thoughts, but not the energy to act on their feelings. However, those suffering from smiling depression have the energetic ability to plan and follow through. This is why smiling depression can be more dangerous than a classic form of severe depression. [link to www.psychologytoday.com (secure)] |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 05:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Hyperbole and a Half did one of the best descriptions of depression I've ever seen. Quoting: Seer777 The link is almost always banned here. Adventures in Depression [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] Part Two [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] [link to 1.bp.blogspot.com] Lol |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 05:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You really would like that movie though. Quoting: Ricky M And probably the book. Infinite Jest Many subsections of the novel depict how characters lose control over their situations. We see a character wait in vain to buy drugs. We see addicts get high to escape the reality that law enforcement is on to them. At the same time, the novel includes stories of how characters lose choice in a positive way, whether through willingness to pet a mangy dog and thus gain entrance to a treatment facility or practice tennis for hours each day to transcend plateaus and fight for a chance to compete for a career. In fact, members of the A.F.R. willingly lose the use of their legs by lying down on train tracks to prove their devotion to the cause. Hal's father kills himself, and Hal discovers the body. He is required to receive counseling and attempts to game the system by reading carefully through all the available books on grief and indicators of the various steps. He becomes a star tennis player and surprises even himself with his progress, but prizes the idea of inaction as a way to succeed. We learn that Hal has not gone a day without getting high in over a year, and we witness his ritual several times. Ultimately, he presents himself differently than he is received by others. Because of this, he has been coached to hold himself still. This final point in the story is placed at the beginning of the novel. [link to www.gradesaver.com (secure)] “Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else. Almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trench coated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer. The thing about people who are truly and malignantly crazy: their real genius is for making the people around them think they themselves are crazy. In military science this is called Psy-Ops, for your info. You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail. This is hard. How promising you are as a Student of the Game is a function of what you can pay attention to without running away.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest Quoting: Ricky M [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] He struggled with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, etc. etc. was on suicide watch in his early 20s..the ones hurting or have been hurt the most usually do give the best advice. Quoting: Ricky M “I think there must be probably different types of suicides. I'm not one of the self-hating ones. The type of like "I'm shit and the world'd be better off without poor me" type that says that but also imagines what everybody'll say at their funeral. I've met types like that on wards. Poor-me-I-hate-me-punish-me-come-to-my-funeral. Then they show you a 20 X 25 glossy of their dead cat. It's all self-pity bullshit. It's bullshit. I didn't have any special grudges. I didn't fail an exam or get dumped by anybody. All these types. Hurt themselves. I didn't want to especially hurt myself. Or like punish. I don't hate myself. I just wanted out. I didn't want to play anymore is all. I wanted to just stop being conscious. I'm a whole different type. I wanted to stop feeling this way. If I could have just put myself in a really long coma I would have done that. Or given myself shock I would have done that. Instead.” Infinite Jest The writer David Foster Wallace committed suicide on September 12th 2008. His wife, Karen Green, came home to find that he had hung himself on the patio of their house, in Claremont, California. "He couldn't write anymore." [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] If my life was a movie, the turning point of my depression would have been inspirational and meaningful. It would have involved wisdom-filled epiphanies about discovering my true self and I would conquer my demons and go on to live out the rest of my life in happiness. Instead, my turning point mostly hinged upon the fact that I had rented some movies and then I didn't return them for too long. The late fees had reached the point where the injustice of paying any more than I already owed outweighed my apathy. I considered just keeping the movies and never going to the video store again, but then I remembered that I still wanted to re-watch Jumanji. I put on some clothes, put the movies in my backpack and biked to the video store. It was the slowest, most resentful bike ride ever. [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 76585116 United States 09/05/2019 05:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I know someone who was diagnosed with "laughing depression" or smiling depression. Quoting: Ricky M Those who are most surprised to realize they're experiencing some form of depression are those suffering from “smiling depression.” Most people haven’t even heard of the term. The definition of smiling depression is: appearing happy to others, literally smiling, while internally suffering with depressive symptoms. Smiling depression often goes undetected. Those suffering from it often discount their own feelings and brush them aside. They might not even be aware of their depression or want to acknowledge their symptoms due to a fear of being considered “weak.” Suicide can be a particular threat for individuals suffering with smiling depression. Typically, people suffering with classic, severe depression might have suicidal thoughts, but not the energy to act on their feelings. However, those suffering from smiling depression have the energetic ability to plan and follow through. This is why smiling depression can be more dangerous than a classic form of severe depression. [link to www.psychologytoday.com (secure)] Don't want your help, and you know why. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 76585116 United States 09/05/2019 05:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You really would like that movie though. Quoting: Ricky M And probably the book. Infinite Jest Many subsections of the novel depict how characters lose control over their situations. We see a character wait in vain to buy drugs. We see addicts get high to escape the reality that law enforcement is on to them. At the same time, the novel includes stories of how characters lose choice in a positive way, whether through willingness to pet a mangy dog and thus gain entrance to a treatment facility or practice tennis for hours each day to transcend plateaus and fight for a chance to compete for a career. In fact, members of the A.F.R. willingly lose the use of their legs by lying down on train tracks to prove their devotion to the cause. Hal's father kills himself, and Hal discovers the body. He is required to receive counseling and attempts to game the system by reading carefully through all the available books on grief and indicators of the various steps. He becomes a star tennis player and surprises even himself with his progress, but prizes the idea of inaction as a way to succeed. We learn that Hal has not gone a day without getting high in over a year, and we witness his ritual several times. Ultimately, he presents himself differently than he is received by others. Because of this, he has been coached to hold himself still. This final point in the story is placed at the beginning of the novel. [link to www.gradesaver.com (secure)] “Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else. Almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trench coated out of an alley with some sort of 'psst' that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer. The thing about people who are truly and malignantly crazy: their real genius is for making the people around them think they themselves are crazy. In military science this is called Psy-Ops, for your info. You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail. This is hard. How promising you are as a Student of the Game is a function of what you can pay attention to without running away.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest Quoting: Ricky M [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] He struggled with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, etc. etc. was on suicide watch in his early 20s..the ones hurting or have been hurt the most usually do give the best advice. Quoting: Ricky M “I think there must be probably different types of suicides. I'm not one of the self-hating ones. The type of like "I'm shit and the world'd be better off without poor me" type that says that but also imagines what everybody'll say at their funeral. I've met types like that on wards. Poor-me-I-hate-me-punish-me-come-to-my-funeral. Then they show you a 20 X 25 glossy of their dead cat. It's all self-pity bullshit. It's bullshit. I didn't have any special grudges. I didn't fail an exam or get dumped by anybody. All these types. Hurt themselves. I didn't want to especially hurt myself. Or like punish. I don't hate myself. I just wanted out. I didn't want to play anymore is all. I wanted to just stop being conscious. I'm a whole different type. I wanted to stop feeling this way. If I could have just put myself in a really long coma I would have done that. Or given myself shock I would have done that. Instead.” Infinite Jest The writer David Foster Wallace committed suicide on September 12th 2008. His wife, Karen Green, came home to find that he had hung himself on the patio of their house, in Claremont, California. "He couldn't write anymore." [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] If my life was a movie, the turning point of my depression would have been inspirational and meaningful. It would have involved wisdom-filled epiphanies about discovering my true self and I would conquer my demons and go on to live out the rest of my life in happiness. Instead, my turning point mostly hinged upon the fact that I had rented some movies and then I didn't return them for too long. The late fees had reached the point where the injustice of paying any more than I already owed outweighed my apathy. I considered just keeping the movies and never going to the video store again, but then I remembered that I still wanted to re-watch Jumanji. I put on some clothes, put the movies in my backpack and biked to the video store. It was the slowest, most resentful bike ride ever. [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] Having received no services, I OWE nothing. |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 06:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If my life was a movie, the turning point of my depression would have been inspirational and meaningful. It would have involved wisdom-filled epiphanies about discovering my true self and I would conquer my demons and go on to live out the rest of my life in happiness. Quoting: Seer777 Instead, my turning point mostly hinged upon the fact that I had rented some movies and then I didn't return them for too long. The late fees had reached the point where the injustice of paying any more than I already owed outweighed my apathy. I considered just keeping the movies and never going to the video store again, but then I remembered that I still wanted to re-watch Jumanji. I put on some clothes, put the movies in my backpack and biked to the video store. It was the slowest, most resentful bike ride ever. [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] When I was a kid I think there were at least 2 movies we never returned. I don't remember what they were though. One of my favorite movies was My Neighbor Totoro every time we went to the movie store I had to have it! Ponyo is another cute one. These need to be on glp. Lol [link to 2.bp.blogspot.com] |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 06:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Nola is a long time poster here. I thought that was just known. Quoting: Seer777 Her posting style is very obvious to me so I knew that was her. She wasn't trying to hide it. I also know she and Akashic have a history and that is what she was referring. Her husband also use to regularly post on GLP. Mostly poetry. I believe she also lived in NOLA, so the hurricane was probably bringing up anxiety due post traumatic stress. It was the posts in this thread I posted with the 'tall wave'. When I said the sync was crazy and there was nothing left to do but ride it out. Which is exactly what occurred. I said the end of the world as we knew it. And it was. She also sends me nasty emails, like the other evening. I'm surprised she isn't openly chastising me here some more. C.G. Jung - The Union of Irreconcilables, the Marriage of Water and Fire (the two figures each have four hands to symbolize their many different Capabilities), Quoting: Ricky M "Psychology and Alchemy “, 1968. [link to 78.media.tumblr.com (secure)] |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 06:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 06:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If my life was a movie, the turning point of my depression would have been inspirational and meaningful. It would have involved wisdom-filled epiphanies about discovering my true self and I would conquer my demons and go on to live out the rest of my life in happiness. Quoting: Seer777 Instead, my turning point mostly hinged upon the fact that I had rented some movies and then I didn't return them for too long. The late fees had reached the point where the injustice of paying any more than I already owed outweighed my apathy. I considered just keeping the movies and never going to the video store again, but then I remembered that I still wanted to re-watch Jumanji. I put on some clothes, put the movies in my backpack and biked to the video store. It was the slowest, most resentful bike ride ever. [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] When I was a kid I think there were at least 2 movies we never returned. I don't remember what they were though. One of my favorite movies was My Neighbor Totoro every time we went to the movie store I had to have it! Ponyo is another cute one. These need to be on glp. Lol [link to 2.bp.blogspot.com] Agree. Allie is Amazing. All her work, I highly recommend. She's hilarious. Dog [link to hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com] She got depressed after she moved to Oregon. Which that time frame, was depressing. Hope she is still out there, creating .. Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 06:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Lol @ After five minutes of watching my dog aimlessly tear around the house, I finally accepted that she was not going to pass any part of the test and yes, she was most likely mentally challenged. But damn it, I was not going to let my poor, retarded dog feel like she failed. “Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic? You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 06:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
AkashicRecord® User ID: 75187812 United States 09/05/2019 06:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 06:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | That's the one.. Aether knows I'm telling the truth. Which is what made your words to me, so crippling last September.. And Why.. I waiting again this long, to talk to you. But not privately. Only in front of everyone. That chatroom pop up was just about the worst choice that could have been made. I get it though. Once triggered. Hard to control. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
aether User ID: 77772031 Spain 09/05/2019 07:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | That's the one.. Aether knows I'm telling the truth. Which is what made your words to me, so crippling last September.. And Why.. I waiting again this long, to talk to you. But not privately. Only in front of everyone. That chatroom pop up was just about the worst choice that could have been made. I get it though. Once triggered. Hard to control. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] my memory of the glp environment that day through my posts just now reminds me how well you fit in today since then |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 627429 Canada 09/05/2019 07:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 07:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Ricky M Senior Forum Moderator User ID: 71504938 United States 09/05/2019 07:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 627429 Canada 09/05/2019 07:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Quoting: Ricky M Sort of, yeah. |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 07:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | That's the one.. Aether knows I'm telling the truth. Which is what made your words to me, so crippling last September.. And Why.. I waiting again this long, to talk to you. But not privately. Only in front of everyone. That chatroom pop up was just about the worst choice that could have been made. I get it though. Once triggered. Hard to control. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] my memory of the glp environment that day through my posts just now reminds me how well you fit in today since then I knew the very moment I got here. It was what I had intuitively been waiting for..my entire life. I always knew what I needed. Little clues would provide themselves..often having researching at an actual library as a kid. I always knew what was coming and how I had to wait to get there. Always. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75602806 Canada 09/05/2019 07:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 08:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75602806 Canada 09/05/2019 08:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75602806 Canada 09/05/2019 08:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | “spectral rape” goes back to the time of ancient Greek literature and modern scientists have tied this phenomenon to sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis effects 20% of the population and sometimes occurs when a person wakes up before finishing their REM cycle. But was Bither experiencing sleep paralysis or something much more terrifying? [link to www.google.ca (secure)] |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 08:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yes...i read about the entity haunting. Why the misdirection from aether? It's a twisted form of, Shaktipat. Vampirism. Black Magick. It's been going on so long..sometimes I think I like it. But I keep trying to get out. Which is why I show it. It is very likely too late for me. That's why I keep saying so. Then sometimes I think it is just my Fate, and I need to keep moving forward. I don't know what to do. It's real though. Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 08:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75602806 Canada 09/05/2019 08:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yes...i read about the entity haunting. Why the misdirection from aether? It's a twisted form of, Shaktipat. Vampirism. Black Magick. It's been going on so long..sometimes I think I like it. But I keep trying to get out. Which is why I show it. It is very likely too late for me. That's why I keep saying so. Then sometimes I think it is just my Fate, and I need to keep moving forward. I don't know what to do. It's real though. Sexuality has always been the pinion. I grew up in a whorehouse for a reason. Its amazing how non sexual they are. Facades and playing out our sub oncious. What we submerge is the veil. How do we see with 4 eyes to become free? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 627429 Canada 09/05/2019 08:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 08:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sexuality has always been the pinion. I grew up in a whorehouse for a reason. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75602806 Its amazing how non sexual they are. Facades and playing out our sub oncious. What we submerge is the veil. How do we see with 4 eyes to become free? I watched a documentary many, many years back. About kids growing up in brothels. India I think.. The only part that still sticks with me all these years later..other than the routinely dilapidated conditions, was one small boy who was tied by the ankle by a rope. He just sat there all day..occasionally attended to by a slightly older sister. [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |
Seer777 (OP) Ride the wings of the mind User ID: 77851584 United States 09/05/2019 08:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] <3 <3 <3 Difficulties strengthen the Mind as labor does the body... ~Seneca |