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George Noory

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 02:30 AM
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Re: George Noory
This is good radio, George.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 02:31 AM
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Re: George Noory
The pinto bean conspiracy!
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2020 02:40 AM
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Re: George Noory
GEORGE: You know, Ben, I’ve always secretly wondered... How the heck do all the shelves in a grocery store get stocked? It’s magic! It’s almost like a team of elves sneaks in at night and does it.

(Awkward silence as the guest tries to determine if George is joking. When he realizes he’s not, he responds...)

BEN: Well, they do..

GEORGE: What?! Elves sneak into grocery stores at night and stock the shelves?

BEN: Employees do. They even have names for them..

GEORGE: Elves???

BEN: No. Shelf stockers.

(Awkward silence)

GEORGE: That’s uncanny, ISN’T IT?!

BEN: No. it’s actually not.

GEORGE: Har! Har! Har! You’re something else, Ben. You really are.

(Silence)

(CLICK!)

GEORGE: Ben? BEN?... I think we’ve lost Ben. Tommy, call Ben back, will you please? (Pause). This is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating!
Anonymous Coward
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10/06/2020 02:45 AM
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Re: George Noory
The secret life of groceries, George? Yeah, I bet there are a few cucumbers you’ve purchased that have quite a story to tell.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 02:46 AM
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Re: George Noory
The guest just said, “Look! This is just too big!” Lol

Sounds like George is sharing his Kroger cucumbers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 02:51 AM
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Re: George Noory
“George is going to San Bernardino ring-a-ding-ding...

Fat black women shakin’ their milkshakes, that’s George’s thing, now...”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 02:54 AM
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Re: George Noory
Guest just said, “I spent some time in Thailand...”

(RED ALERT! RED ALERT!)

FBI now triangulating on his location.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79457126
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10/06/2020 03:19 AM
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Re: George Noory
George flies over to Israel to be baptized in the Jordan River, like Jesus was. He goes with a Christian group, whose pastor George sits next to on the 16-hour flight.

On the day of the baptisms, all the people dress in white robes to symbolize purity. It’s a joyous occasion. They line the shore and — one by one — enter the river waist-deep where the pastor is waiting to baptize them. The pastor places a hand on each person’s head and gently pushes them down underwater. They arise from the waters in a second or two baptized, rejuvenated, and symbolically closer to God than ever.

It’s George’s turn. George walks down the riverbank, steps into the river waist-deep next to the awaiting pastor, and awaits this most sacred of rituals.

The pastor solemnly says, “In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, I hereby baptize you in this most beautiful faith,” as he places his hand on George’s head and George disappears beneath the water’s surface.

After about 10 seconds, the line of people still waiting to be baptized on the riverbank begins to stir. Why is this taking so long? Why hasn’t George surfaced?

It then becomes apparent from the pastor’s red face, maniacal grin, and bulging neck veins that he is forcibly holding George underwater.

Several men waiting on shore rush into the river and tackle the pastor.

A breathless George pops up from the depths gasping for air.

“Why, pastor? Why?!” asks someone.

The pastor — seemingly in some sort of schizophrenic episode, or demonic possession — is laughing maniacally and tossing his head around, as he’s restrained by several men.

He mumbles something in Latin, followed by an unintelligible language, then spouts, “I had to sit next to this absolute buffoon for 16 hours on a plane flight yesterday as his captive audience! I’ve never met a more idiotic, naive imbecile in my life! And he wouldn’t shut up! On and on and on!!! I couldn’t take it!!! Calgon, take me away!!!”

As the pastor is frog-marched to a waiting police car, a befuddled George looks on at the proceedings and mutters, “Uncanny.”
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77672722
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10/06/2020 07:01 AM
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Re: George Noory
“Yankee bean, Yankee bean,

George likes his Yan-kee bean...”

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77695081
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10/06/2020 12:50 PM
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Re: George Noory
George runs roughshod over Tommy’s taint.
blank
User ID: 79462244
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10/06/2020 07:13 PM
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Re: George Noory
Art lived longer then Neil Peart and Edward Van Halen. Aint that some shit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 52080437
Canada
10/06/2020 07:21 PM
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Re: George Noory
The secret life of groceries, George? Yeah, I bet there are a few cucumbers you’ve purchased that have quite a story to tell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79457126


Like the time George had Tommy pick up that gallon jug of Astroglide.
George had been experimenting with edging and requested Tommy use a zucchini wrapped in foil (for the bumps he said) on George’s butt.
Well Tommy finally hit George’s G spot and that foil wrapped zucchini shot out of George’s ass and across St. Louis prompting several UFO reports of a silver cigar shaped space ship.
pool
**ARREST SOROS**

User ID: 77119396
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10/06/2020 08:26 PM

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Re: George Noory
...


Noory's eye balls fall out of his head and roll across the basket ball court, expanding as they travel. As the eye balls can still see, the camera begins to rotate with the vision of loose eyeballs. The camera is imbed in the pov of the eyes. The eyes expand to basketball sze, and get dribbled down court for a shot. The basketball sees noory and falles into a gaze of the tea cup. The game is over and Noory's eyes become functioning in their sockets again.
 Quoting: pool


cruise1rof1lollmaorofllaughlolsignlolatu

That was Stephen King-ish. 5*!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76769653


Could you see what the basketball saw? That is the new feature to elevate NBA.
 Quoting: pool


That’d be interesting. I like the out-of-the-box thinking.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78768153


Cross between Eraserhead and Beetlejuice.


I love you baby.

"Death cannot harm me
more than you have harmed me,
my beloved life." Louise Gluck
Anonymous Coward
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10/07/2020 12:14 AM
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Re: George Noory
The secret life of groceries, George? Yeah, I bet there are a few cucumbers you’ve purchased that have quite a story to tell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79457126


Like the time George had Tommy pick up that gallon jug of Astroglide.
George had been experimenting with edging and requested Tommy use a zucchini wrapped in foil (for the bumps he said) on George’s butt.
Well Tommy finally hit George’s G spot and that foil wrapped zucchini shot out of George’s ass and across St. Louis prompting several UFO reports of a silver cigar shaped space ship.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52080437


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH​AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahHaha

cruise1rof1lollmaorofllaughlolsignlolatu

rofl5

epiclol
jomar

User ID: 70672660
United States
10/07/2020 02:27 AM
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Re: George Noory
EeewW Jeez Oh Geezz lol hahah remember reading this in an ol' fuckbook lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78108511
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10/07/2020 03:33 AM
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Re: George Noory
Art lived longer then Neil Peart and Edward Van Halen. Aint that some shit.
 Quoting: blank 79462244


Neil looked like a cross between Tom Hanks and Kevin Spacey...

[link to etcanada.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76740122
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10/07/2020 09:38 AM
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Re: George Noory
Art lived longer then Neil Peart and Edward Van Halen. Aint that some shit.
 Quoting: blank 79462244


Neil looked like a cross between Tom Hanks and Kevin Spacey...

[link to etcanada.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78108511


Alex Lifeson = Harrison Ford

Geddy Lee = a Guuish Steve Perry
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76740122
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10/07/2020 09:48 AM
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Re: George Noory
George played bass in high school.

Oops, typo. Disregard the “b”.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79450254
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10/07/2020 10:17 AM
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Re: George Noory
epiclol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50655298
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10/07/2020 10:43 AM
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Re: George Noory
You mean it took you this long to get Snoory figured out...lol
pool
**ARREST SOROS**

User ID: 77119396
United States
10/07/2020 11:18 AM

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Re: George Noory
I was planning on the eyeballs becoming space ships. Now it's all ruined.

lmao
I love you baby.

"Death cannot harm me
more than you have harmed me,
my beloved life." Louise Gluck
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77590548
United States
10/07/2020 02:25 PM
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Re: George Noory
I was planning on the eyeballs becoming space ships. Now it's all ruined.

lmao
 Quoting: pool


chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77590548
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10/07/2020 02:26 PM
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Re: George Noory
1,001 ratings. Almost fully 5* 5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79466508
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10/07/2020 08:30 PM
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Re: George Noory
Steve Perry looks like a Portugeuse Buck Dharma .
pool
**ARREST SOROS**

User ID: 77119396
United States
10/07/2020 08:49 PM

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Re: George Noory
1,001 ratings. Almost fully 5* 5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77590548


I just started 5 pages ago.....
I love you baby.

"Death cannot harm me
more than you have harmed me,
my beloved life." Louise Gluck
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77559094
Czech Republic
10/07/2020 11:21 PM
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Re: George Noory
Steve Perry looks like a Portugeuse Buck Dharma .
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79466508


And Buck Dharma is a cross between Jeff Lynne and Eric Clapton.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79394782
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10/07/2020 11:24 PM
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Re: George Noory
Some of the bumper music George picks is horrendous.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76755146
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10/08/2020 06:43 AM
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Re: George Noory
Some of the bumper music George picks is horrendous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79394782


Most is, ya. Art’s was the best; particularly for the type of show, the hour, and the mood.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77566601
Czech Republic
10/08/2020 11:16 PM
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Re: George Noory
Art had a torrid, on-again-off-again affair with Yoda in the mid-80s.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77566601
Czech Republic
10/08/2020 11:17 PM
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Re: George Noory
Art had a torrid, on-again-off-again affair with Yoda in the mid-80s.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77566601


Art once said it was like dating a giant scrotum.





GLP