Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists | |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 1915461 United States 04/11/2012 05:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | "1. A long time ago, some guys wrote the Bible. Therefore, God exists..." "2. My family member was feeling depressed. He went to the church to seek spiritual guidance and a few days later he died of an undiagnosed brain tumor. God decided it was his time..." "6. My sister's boss's best friend's cousin knew a girl who was possessed by a 'demon.' She died from internal bleeding after getting manhandled during a Catholic exorcism. The upside? She isn't possessed anymore, so the exorcism worked." "10. If God didn't exist, we wouldn't have to lynch gay people, shoot abortion-performing doctors or steal the land right out from under the Indian tribes while claiming divine right. Therefore, God exists." |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 7190830 United States 07/05/2012 08:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | if all you theists are so willing to believe in fairy tales written over a 1000 years ago with absolute certainty regardless of the lack of presence of facts, i would like to invite you to join an up-and-coming religion. the best thing about this new religion? it actually has more proof than every religious scripture ever written. it focuses on me, and the many miracles i perform daily. unlike mainstream religions, theres proof im real. many of the things i do every day would be considered a miracle to people of the past, so im pretty much as powerful as religious figures. also, i am very fair and accepting, and do not discriminate based on gender, sexual orientation, or any other personal aspect. also, if you choose not to believe in me, thats your choice. i promise not to send anybody to a lake of fire for all eternity. the only requirement to become a follower is that you must be EXTREMELY gullible, and favor mysticism over trying to find an understanding to existence. P.S. If theres something you can't explain in the universe, you can go ahead and just say I did it, or it was my will. with my help, you'll never need an original thought again |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 7190830 United States 07/05/2012 08:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist. Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974 Wtf why not join in. sounds pretty bad to beat your wife, when all she was doing was beatin it. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 18171436 United States 07/05/2012 08:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Prove em wrong, bitches! Quoting: Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 14204974 Ten clear proofs that Allah truly exists By Sheik Abutthol Shitstaini 1. A long time ago some guy named Mohammad wrote a book. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 2. Recently one of my camels was suffering from a severe bout of depression. So I prayed to Allah to cure him but he died two days later. Allah, being all wise and all powerful, must have decided that it was time for my camel to go to paradise. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 3. Mohammad is the most popular boy name in the world. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 4. My neighbor Ahmed beat his wife after catching her masturbating. If Allah inspired him to do this, then Allah must truly exist. 5. We Muslims are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages, because doing so might cause us to loosen up and have fun. Having fun is what evil infidels do! Therefore, Allah truly exists. 6. My cousin Yusef's goat became possessed by an evil jinn (demon). In accordance with sharia law the goat was beheaded. Thankfully the goat no longer suffers from possession. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 7. The United States elected a muslim for president. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 8. A few months ago a man from my town was trampled to death by his camels. The man must have been wicked because Allah would not allow a good man to die like that. Therefore, Allah truly exists. 9. This towel on my head means I'm special! Therefore, Allah truly exists. 10. If Allah didn't exist, then us Muslims wouldn't have to threaten to cut off your head for not believing in him. Therefore, Allah truly exists. Troll |
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