Itchy buttholes in public, is there really a discrete way to scratch it ?

It's best to make it as obvious as possible . This is the best way to deal with it .

You need to ask yourselve exactly WHY you have an itchy bunghole!

Gold Bond powder after you shower. No more itch.

stare up, intently, with a distinct look of fear, and when everyone else does the same, give that smelly hole a good hard scratch!

brilliant !!

I think i would need to ask myself why i had an itchy butthole in the first place. maybe some cleanup is in order..

it's piles. i have it. no big deal. just go to the docs and get some cream off him. sorted!

what's the longest hair on the human body?

the eyelash.

why's that? because when you scratch that brown starfish it pulls one of your eyes shut, ever notice that?

Pfft, whatever, you guys act like you never got an itchy butt out of the blue in public.

I didn't ask you what to do if your asshole itches all the time, that's kind of obvious. You wash it.

What I'm asking is what creative maneuvers you guys have come up with.

For example:

What do you do if your boss wants to suddenly have a long discussion and you get it out of nowhere ?

just stick a dried corncob between your buttcheeks before you leave home. Constantly moving around back there, full time scratching with no need to do it yourself.

1. Didn't clean very well try a bidet.

2. Has hemorrhoid problems.

3. Needs a bath with good soap.

That would make a great comedy sketch, seriously.

That might be the most redneck idea I have ever heard.

Thanks for the compliment.

Wash your ass with non-chemical soap and it probably won't itch.
Fucking bums.

3$ on the internet.
For real.
Fuck.

This has potential

You could attach rubberbands to either end of the cob, wrap one around the heel of your shoe, and the other through a belt loop.

All day walk-n-scratch

It's just a worm trying to get out of your

It's just a worm trying to get out of your

What a weird thread. Well, here's an idea, find a bench somewhere and sit down, then clench your butt cheeks together, maybe that will fix the itch! Lol.

Or, just give it a quick scratch, when no one is looking!

Nah, just dig the itch away like no one is there. If people want to watch, not your problem. When problems like this arise, just think like a Wal-Mart shopper.

just do it, although i wouldnt put my hand in my underwear just do it on the outside of your trousers

treat it as a challenge.

blend with the itch.

it doesnt control you, you control it.

you have mastered it ( and yourself) when the itch causes you no discomfort.

try cleaning your shithole after a turd. it helps

Maybe I should do the robot, that would throw 'em for a loop.

Nope....

This is exactly why I will avoid anyone on GLP in my life. Take a shower and clean your arse.

could always say, in a stephen hawking voice, 'must..do..reboot!'

how do they know where the reboot button is on a robot? what's the chances a robot expert will be in your vicinity? very low i'd say!

it disturbs me when Yanks spell 'arse' like you did there.

it removes my feelings of superiority over you.

stop it!!

Pinworms!
You have pinworms, Sir!
Sir! You have Pinworms!