Someone keeps sleeping in my car, window was broken a while ago so I can't lock it... how do I curtail without the police

lol. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK. This may be hard to believe, but I just looked out at my car and this asshole is there, asking me if she can get into my car to get her crackpipe, she said she thinks she left it in there. I told her the cops were on the way...

Wait till she fall asleep then take a warm piss straight to her sleepy bum face. She will def stop abusing your patience.

What the fuck - really?!
The next time you see her out there, call the cops and tell them you're pretty sure someone is stealing your stereo because you can see them moving around in your car. She'll get arrested with her crack pipe and be gone for a short bit.

Whether you like the police or not, you should file a police report about her sleeping and doing drugs in your car. If you don't and you are ever pulled over and searched, you will be held liable for any drugs, pipes, or residue they may find. But, if it is on record and documented that she is doing the drugs in your car, the police will have proof that it isn't your stuff.

Also, do not booby trap your car or hurt her in any other way. It sucks, but if she gets hurt in your car, she can sue you and make your life even more miserable.

Hope this helps! Hopefully she will move on soon.

leave a dead fish under the seat...if he finds it and throws it away, keep leaving foul smelling dead animals in your car.

Sooo... I live in Philly, not the best area... and there is a homeless person, it could be a man or a woman, I can't tell... def a crackhead, that has been sleeping and smoking crack in my car for the past week. I've kicked her out multiple times this week, but because I am running a business right here I can't make too much of a scene or be too aggressive for fear of eternal retaliation on my business.

I am lucky to have the customers I have... I don't want to lose them because of this.

This homeless person is an african american female(I think) with the "why so serious" batman knife marks on her cheeks, and is always wearing loose-fitting clothing, which makes it hard to assess whether or not she is armed. I threaten her with calling the police and she usually sulks off without saying much. I need to bring this to an end without calling the cops... I've seen too many examples of citizens resorting to the authorities only to end up being shot or tazed. Fuck that, is there anything I can do to avoid involving those assholes?

you want a simple solution , well here you go - takes about a minute to remove the rear seat - take in the house leave it there - then after you replace the window reinstall the seat cheers

All your points are valid OP. It might make matters worse to call the police.

1. try noise--say something licked in the tunk or under the hood that makes enough icky noise that someone could not sleep in there.

2. find her somewhere else to sleep.

There is nothing that will bring good Karma into your life like helping those who seem unloveable. This woman has probably been abused since she was a child, she is probably very broken and hurting--the drugs are the only way she knows of stopping the pain.

Spiritually it would seem she has come into your life for a reason--this is a test.

If you don't wish to help her, I understand, at least you don't want to harm her, the noise should work--some kind of repetitive alarm or beeping noise, or for halloween something scary, haunting....

Good luck!!

the seat is easy as crap to get out, but this morning she was all kicked back in my driver's seat... as customers were coming in lol. I went outside, opened the door, and as quietly as I could told her to get the fuck out and that the cops were coming... and she was just here again for her crackpipe, talking to me like we go way back

This was a very thoughtful reply, thank you! I feel horrible about depriving someone of shelter on a cold night like tonight, and am trying to find a moral middleground for myself.

In that case go to Home Depot and buy one of those tin sheds and put it in the alley and let her sleep there. Put a cot in it. If you wanrted to go the extra mile wire it up with a light and a heater and panel the walls with styrofoam.

buy some bath salts from a head shop, leave them in your car, set up a video camera, make enough money off the hits on youtube to move the fuck out of that neighborhood.

problem solved.

Call the cops when she is in the car. The file charges so she goes to jail. I know this sounds mean but if she is in jail for hopefully a year she may be able to get off the crack. Crack is evil and those addicted to it need all the help they can get, even if it is jail.