The Mind Hackers often call themselves "Watchers".

Haha, funny irl synch :P Is it or isn't it? Haha, always a question.

So I joined the Army. I was scheduled to be shipped for training in mid November, and she went off to University in August. I had saved enough money to go see her twice before I shipped out.

At the end of basic training, she came to see my graduation. And then I went to advanced training. She came to see me in the middle of it.

When I was done, I was stationed on the other side of the country, in Washington state, to a unit gearing up to deploy to Iraq in four months. I got a cell phone, and spent my evenings talking to her for hours. Constantly hinting at getting married.

I went to see her in DC for some leave. We spent the whole time in her dorm room. She made a point to introduce me to this Jewish kid that bragged he had $4 million in a trust. (this plays a part later) and he asked me if I liked "snow-balling". LOL. I didn't know what it meant at the time because I was actually pretty innocent.

Then right before I shipped out to Iraq she came visit me. This time I had bought a ring and proposed to her. She said yes.

Right on, have some appts, tomorrow workings towards working? Haha. I'll probably have the job for a year or so whatever it is so really not trying to bottom out quite yet but I'll do what I have to in the end of things.

Not for me, my wife has me on cock block for a long time.
Fucking borg assassins bro.
lol

Ouch.

All this time I was completely faithful to her. Having had many opportunities to cheat, I denied them all. I truly did love her. Women would come into my "room" in Iraq with the sole purpose to screw me, but I would tell them no, or just plain act ignorant.

For the first four months we wrote love letters to each other everyday. And then she just stopped. I was in Comms, so I was able to talk to her on night duty over the VPN networks, and didn't really think anything of it.

I was scheduled to have a 2-week R&R in the middle of the tour. So I purchased a week vacation to the Moon-Palace resort in Mexico and planned to spend the other week with her in DC. And bought her a new laptop.

But a week before I was to leave, she went on a trip with my twin sister to the Bahamas. Upon their return, my twin wrote me to tell me, she did not wear the ring, and tried to sleep with every man she could, only to be cock blocked by my twin.

I was about to leave too see her....

So I ignored it, because dammit, I'm taking a break from this damn war-zone.

I had fun when I was with her, but when I returned I broke down. I started volunteering for missions, hoping to see action, and basically had a suicidal mind-set with it.

Well, through it, we began to talk as if it was all fine. But a part of me had been scarred. I loved her, and would love her unconditionally. This is how I saw it. She is in college, I'm at war. Maybe she just needs to sow her oats and have fun, and we can build a life afterwards.

Well, I ended my tour and reactivated my phone. On it was a voice mail of her screwing the Jewish guy. My heart dropped. I was in shock. And at this point I blacked everything out. I literally lost all memory of hearing this and all the things that happened.

I had always felt the sting though, not really sure of where it was coming from.

And I started pushing distance between us.

Some how, we decided it would be ok date other people. But she still wanted to get married in the end. All the while she would visit me on her vacations, and we would be intimate and close like nothing had ever happened.

I tried to date others. But always, every time, two weeks after sleeping with a girl, she would lose her mind and become possessive and paranoid I was sleeping with every girl I could. Which wasn't true, but it always killed my interest in the girls.

Its not that bad, she needs time, I am like time, really time, you need time.

So I just sit around waiting, waiting...
So here I am, interacting with all you unknown variables.

Eventually time will run out for both of us and ill still be left holding my cock in the bathroom contemplating on weather I should have used a banana peel or a sock lol
Or just straight up glove and KY :P

OMG sorry Cark :)

This went on for years. Still we talked and planned on getting married. All the while she would make it obvious who she was screwing and that I was not the only man in her life.

Then I got out of the Army.

I tried to move to her, but she always discouraged it.

Still she would play my heart like a yo-yo.

Then almost two year after I was out she came to see me for thanksgiving vacation. I kept trying to go out with her, spend some time together. But all she wanted to do was come over, fuck me, and leave. This was the last time I had sex.

A month after she left, I remember the voice mail as if it had just happened. And that day, I was done. Never again would I allow her into my life. I still loved her though, and for years after it tormented my soul.

Then someone special showed up in my dreams. And finally I was free of that nightmare.

Haha, funny; a lot of the division in sex's could potentially surround the way this topic is handled.

And that's that. Of course in all of the years, there is a heck of a lot more to be said, but that is enough for this moment.

Ever have any real hardships in your life?

I suppose we all have, some greater then others, but it still does not take away the struggle of the individual.

I appreciate you sharing that with me. Sounds to me like you absolutely made the right choice in putting space between you and her.

Your story is similar to a very good friend of mine who went into the Marines. It was very sad how he ended up being totally used by her for years, who was living off his income and cheating on him, while he was overseas at war...

I can't imagine why someone would record themselves having sex with another and send it to their current partner. People get murdered for things like that. And you have to be one cold-hearted sociopath to trigger someone like that, who loves you.

I hope you know that all females are not like that.

This is how things used to work.

One person was the Sun (pushing expression) and one person was the Moon (reflecting expression), in a relationship.

Now my wife and I are actually opposites in every way yet the same.

I am comfortable with the massive divide, I see through it, work through it. My wife needs shit scripted and will not let me script for her. She chooses to let, um, every other person script for her and they do not like me.

Cut a long story short, I know the person responsible for my own conflict and yes, I am going to make this person pay severely.

Now here is where it gets interesting. I am making this, um, enemy feel safe and secure for now and when the time is right, I am going to whip the table cloth out from under their nose and leave them standing with their nickers around their ankle in front of a crowd.

It is no one on GLP by the way.

I have to be careful though, my wife and this person are like me and my own brother. I see the fractal relationship.

My wife is basically my brother in a female suit and my enemy, is me in a female suit.

Obviously I am smarter than the female version of me :)
Go figure lol

I know they aren't. But having been the only real experience I have had, this is all I know.

Sadly it had been the most loving connection to a person of all of them this life, that I have ever had.

I know it wont always be like this. I am thirsting to experience some real beauty in my life, and its hard to have patients in its anticipation.

Funny note. She ended up getting married, and had seen her with another man when she was visiting the City I was in. My reaction: "poor guy, But THANK GOD its not me this time"

Where art thou, princess kaylee??

What about your twin? Are you not close to her and share a loving relationship?

Not really. When I moved in with my father she stayed with my mother till we were 17. We were 14 at that time. This is when we stopped being close. Before that we were with an abusive step father, who did not touch her. For some reason she did not believe my brother and I that he beat us and this also put a wedge in the relationship. I remember speaking for her before she could talk, and being able to feel her emotions. As years went on this closed.

After the Army, it was pretty cold. Like we didn't know each other. I tried to rekindle it, but she got married and started a family. Then "this" took over. And I lost every family member to the chaos. They would be happy if I never spoke to them again. Now I'm just the dangerous schizo that might be infectious.

The ex's sister actually was a loving friend. But it was different, her being the sister.

I see. Can you describe the chaos that occurred to estrange you further from your family? Do you seek to reconcile a relationship with your twin, down the road?


Have you ever read the web comic, Ava's Demon?

I know the title is a little off-putting, but I think you will resonate with the story. I think his name is Gil and his other...


Starts here:

Ava's Demon
[link to www.avasdemon.com]

Archive:
[link to www.avasdemon.com]

Last Edited by Seer777 on 11/23/2015 03:46 PM

Trippy demon.

First I started talking about quantum physics and philosophy. They didn't understand, and thought I was weird for not being apart of the societal mold they expected.

I began having the experiences of the energy. The crown and eye opening, and with it all the confusion. The visions, feeling others, hearing thoughts, ect. I tried to share these with them, tell them what I was experiencing. They wanted no part of it, and I was then forever deemed crazy. I could not hide it with the intensity increasing, so I left as their disgust with it grew. I could not take hearing and feeling what they truly felt towards me.

I've talked to them a few times, but I have recently freaked them out by knowing things that may make my experience real. Really though, I choose this, because I must be free to embrace this.

It would be nice to reconcile something, but I wont hold any hope for it. It will be what it will be. I let go of wanting them to be a apart of this a long time ago. This has changed me. I can only be who I am, and cannot act how they wish me to be.

I like Ava's demon so far. I'm on chapter 4, and ill watch the rest.

Always an exciting experience. My eye has been open for a while, been feeling more of my heart and crown when I take the time to think about it ;p

Thanks haha.

Ah good afternoon everyone...
Out of the frying pan into the fire it seems.
Thanks for sharing your story Mr. Powers.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience with a girl.
There are some cold people out there.
When we open our hearts to them, it tends to be the worst kind of suffering a human heart can feel...

Cayly you find out whats up with cern, saw something saying they popped a leak.

Not quite enough sleep I am afraid...
I need a nap haha.
It was by fortune my macbook had enough capacity to do that project given the hardware constraints of this thing, a real music video on here would probably be a bit of a stretch, but...it does get my heart yearning to do more edity stuff again :\

I will poke my nose around, see what comes up.

.