X Marks the Spot

Thanks seerstar, love you lots, bbl.

Found this cute little book on prayer and praises of Celtic tradition in a secondhand bookstore the other day called Threshold of light.

Has a dragon in the shape of a knot on the front is what drew me to it.

Here is one of the praises.

The maker of all things,
The lord god worship we:
Heaven white with angels wings,
Earth and the white waved sea.

It has some lovely words that transport me.

Speak soon my lovely.

I do not know what it is called exactly.

I call it bliss. Which is only a word utilized to describe a state one desires not to return from...if only to show others how to get there.


Do you have a specific question? As this is a bit of a sensitive subject.

Please note, I will determine whether or not to answer depending...

What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable.

Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel.

Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely just mine.

It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are.

I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it all is bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking.

Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without...

I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery.

What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated.

Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you.

This too will pass...




:)

not german beer night then

Last Edited by aether on 03/29/2013 07:55 PM

"Do you have a specific question? As this is a bit of a sensitive subject.

Please note, I will determine whether or not to answer depending..."


I really dont know enough to have a specific question..

it just sounds alot like Qigong meditation focusing on Qi (chi) energy and since you seem to have experience I ask.


Qi is life force energy, Im starting to feel it in meditation but not sure what to do or how to visualise it or what.

I can sort of understand how it might be sensitive for you since you are female. I dont think males are sensitve like this. please forgive me or if that is not the sensitive you mean then I am curious.

oh well, might not be of use for oposite sex in these areas either? I have read though that female Qigong practitioner can control or stop that monthly cycle and it rasies tremendous energy for them the ame way that transmuting sperm does for males. I hope I did not make you uncomfortable, we are adults and this is helpful information is the way I look at it.

Qigong practice can heal everything from what I understand.

It is your battle.

And one I am sure you will overcome.

Fuck em all chad express when were and how you like.

Must try and sleep now busy day tomorrow.

welcome back

I was looking forward to it. As this is my last open Friday for the year.

Next week Markets start again and the season ramps up into full swing.


Oh well.

Expectation and all that...

lol.




Be well Sept.

:)

remember you linked this /z\ to the sun yesterday



unusual pattern today /z\

Sometimes it gets so fucking hard emotionally, Brian. These fucking dreams...the damn visions. These things that have no words to the experiences, yet they are 'realer' than...

I just need to shut up. But, I've found I receive comfort from strangers I have never met face to face. I need to pull away from that. There is absolutely no sense in doing so, and yet here I am doing it now.

:hug2:

Sept, you are one of the best posters here.

Hold the light.

I feel you pain, but glad there is someone else who likesto talk about the same stuff I do.

Back to the living...

I do not like to talk about this stuff. I get comfort from minds here, but...I just...I'm going to shut up now. I'm not sure if it is worth it, doing this. It feels like a 'Momentary Lapse of Reason'.

I have become too entangled with what other people say, and how they persuade me. I need to climb back into myself, and leave the tracings of bias by the wayside.

Lol.

I was wondering why the phrase 'oh well' came to me in my last post. Not something I normally say.


Yes, we have discussed said a few times on this thread regarding the harnessing of sexual energy and the cessation of 'monthly cycles'.

However, the topic was often met with discomfort...when I attempted to broach it.


I would suggest the breathing exercise I mentioned to acuk. A good set of headphones, and perhaps the utilization of Theda beats to start the 'vibrations'.


This was one of my favorites to meditate to when I was meditating for 5-7 hours a day last year.

Do note that it can be scary...

[link to www.youtube.com]

I am not learned on how to read those charts. What is it showing?

Man, I thought it was all over there for a while

:Cjak:

I had this idea. You ever think about making "starship coil" transducers? With silver wire...

You should look into it.

"I just need to shut up. But, I've found I receive comfort from strangers I have never met face to face. I need to pull away from that. There is absolutely no sense in doing so, and yet here I am doing it now."


I completely relate and understand this.. and its why Im here too!

I remember you writing about how you try not to read certain things so that it doesnt contaminate you thought process..

in a way I understand that but I also think you might be limiting yourself this way.


I am the AC that is sometimes replying to your posts with lttle tidbits that I think might help somehow like just now.

yes you write alot! I dont as much but I have the same problem except I talk too much face to face. it is a difficult habit to break. turns out honesty is not the best policy when you speak your mind in this world. sad really.


SS, I have difficulty with turning knowledge to wisdom but to me it seems you dont share this difficulty?

your energy is explained very well in the ancient chinese liturature. make an effort to learn this!

also the Toltecs explain energy leaks and transfers very good also.

then again, you might know all this already so in that case, let me know if you think its a waste of time ;-)

I think it was Pythagoras who said and honest man will allways remain a child.

ALWAYS keep the Wonder...

incoming to earth energy/emotion/information is normally never shown as blobs, 3 minute guy noticed another set of blobs very early your morning today
that is another set of blobs
blobs means high volume/content
thus the feedback to your sun thought (pulse) is our sun was prompted to reply (pulse) back twice on the topic

and

the sun posters say:






Last Edited by aether on 03/29/2013 08:28 PM

Coming in extremely heavy right now.

It was





Nuked dos by 1 and 0's

i like vortical taz

good description

My name is Scott

Wouldn't it be awesome if we could just talk about whatever we wanted, all the time?

And there was no wolves in the bushes waiting to jump out and yell "crazy!"?

Acting all righteous when in fact they are simply void of ideology, morality, or indeed perhaps even the free will of imagination?

They call me scoot