My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight

Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.

I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?

The next time you're around her with your grandson etc, film it in its entirety on camera. Tell her you're doing this for everyone's safety. If she snaps, you have the disclaimer of having told her you're filming and also PROOF OF HER INSTABILITY. Make a copy, then go to the authorities with the footage. She will get taken care of like she deserves. TEACH THIS BITCH A LESSON OR YOUR GS WILL PAY THE PRICE.

Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.

Just checking in on you..what a mess! You are doing all the right things though hon.

I hope to heck you can get her out of your house, this woman is a lunatic. The only good thing about that is you can keep an eye on your GS. For the child's sake she needs to be taken care of stat but you already know that.

Maybe there are some lawyers around that can advise you. You've gotten some great advice here....hugs.

Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail. Thing is the judge that last saw there case said that if there was anymore paperwork on them they were going to both get arrested. My heart is breaking but I know this is the best and safest thing for my 4 year old GS, he is the most important one here. He cannot voice his fears over this and does not deserve to be subjected to this sick cycle. and neither do I or my husband. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever done and very scary. And my husband is going to be bodyguard (at least when he is here he can) and I am going to share with my close neighbor to call the police at any sign of possible violence, doors slamming, loud voices, yelling, anything. And if it happens when my GS is here I am going to grab him, leave the house and call the police. I have my escape plan in place and am not going to respond to her provocation but if she puts that boy in one more ounce of danger I am fleeing with him.

And yes she in the lunatic mode now, so all my ears and eyes are open. I have also talked to a few close friends and getting people on board to help me in crisis mode.

Hitch the trailer home to the pickup and move somewhere else.

Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail. Thing is the judge that last saw there case said that if there was anymore paperwork on them they were going to both get arrested. My heart is breaking but I know this is the best and safest thing for my 4 year old GS, he is the most important one here. He cannot voice his fears over this and does not deserve to be subjected to this sick cycle. and neither do I or my husband. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever done and very scary. And my husband is going to be bodyguard (at least when he is here he can) and I am going to share with my close neighbor to call the police at any sign of possible violence, doors slamming, loud voices, yelling, anything. And if it happens when my GS is here I am going to grab him, leave the house and call the police. I have my escape plan in place and am not going to respond to her provocation but if she puts that boy in one more ounce of danger I am fleeing with him.

And yes she in the lunatic mode now, so all my ears and eyes are open. I have also talked to a few close friends and getting people on board to help me in crisis mode.

Another thought -- does your locality have any resources for "Elder Abuse" ? That is like a social worker or ombudsman who steps in during situations like yours when a younger person ( a relative) is financially exploiting and/or abusing a senior citizen.

Look into it. Your counsellor may have some resources. Or, as I've advised before, contact your local women's shelter. But look into "elder abuse resources". Even the police department nonemergency number, the local court's Victim Advocacy Office (or equivalent), or local social services, or a mental health center would be places to start asking.

Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail.

I went thru something similar to this with my crazy ex. I was a nice guy and didn't press charges. Huge mistake. Some people are selfish animals that only understand force. I got a very good lawyer and put her thru the wringer when we got divorced. Suddenly she knows how to behave and doesn't give me crap anymore. I made it clear I won't hesitate to pursue full custody if she ever screws up again. She treats our kids great and is respectful to me now.

Like Hank Williams said, she needed an "attitude adjustment".

I am a softie, love people and kids and I think I have been a doormat for too long.

I do feel better finally knowing that I am doing something to protect myself and my GS. It's a good feeling to know that if this order is granted she will be out of my life and I won't have to deal with her crazy outbursts anymore. My counselor is not one to use words lightly but she called her "sick, crazy and nuts". I was surprised that she said that because I have never heard her use words that. But I need to keep repeating those words in my head, and like Mockingbird said, move forward.

Now that I'm thinking a little clearer and clearer I have a big interview tomorrow as a director, sadly I have not had much time to prepare but if I get this job it will put me in a even better place that perhaps I can sell my house and move away somewhere more peaceful. Even though it's a 4th generation home, I feel I may need a fresh new start. I'm only in my 50's so it's not like I can't still have a good life ahead of me. And maybe, hopefully, that future will include my 4 yo GS. Besides his mom and dad, my husband and I have been his next closest caregiver. If I can myself into a better mode, and if she or both of them lose custody I want to be there for him. I know he must very confused right now. And that makes me sad but my counselor said I must not dwell on that right now.

Simply put: Yes, yes you have been a doormat for too long. The good news is you are growing one heckuva sturdy spine.

Remember, you do not need to change anybody else's behaviour. You only need to change your own behaviour.




Whenever you get her out of your home, you will be "over the hump" so far as dealing with her. That is the goal to stay focused upon now.

But she will always be out there. And you will never be entirely 'safe' from her. She may still appear in your life from time to time, but you will be dealing with her from a position of strenth.


Most courts will immediately and automatically look at you as the next potential custodian for your grandson, if both the mother and father lose custody.

You are doing everything for the good. Just carry through.

There's a lot of people, perhaps well meaning, some just mean, who are weighing down this person when they are suffering.

If someone is drowning you don't push on their head and put them under.

Not cool.

OP - so sorry for all you're going through but you're standing in your power.

No one has mentioned it but I'm concerned also for your cat if she's tried to run it over. Please keep it inside for the time being. Even with a restraining order, there's nothing to stop her from asking a friend to go to your place to hurt it or kill it.

She's crazy and angry and will do anything to pay you back now. I hope you eventually get custody of GS which sounds promising given the girl's - and your son's - inability to be good parents.

Good advise from others on the thread...document everything and keep your camera with you at all times.

Stay safe and glad you and hubby are getting counseling. Sending prayers and love your way.

... The restraining order was granted, and she was served tonight. It's bittersweet considering that I treated this girl like a daughter. I definitely feel safer and more secure right now.

I'm just kind of bummed because a job I interviewed for today, that I really thought I was perfect for, I did not get. Perhaps it's because I need to be here for my GS as CPS is now looking for my grandsons mom now too. She will have to face responsibility now for her actions, and I know that's going to be a hard road but I know I did the right thing.

In most ways you are safer now. But she is likely to attempt a number of things. Here some things to be on the look out for:

*Identity theft. You can put a 'flag' on your credit reports. I am not sure about how to do this, but I imagine your bank's customer service could give you some direction on it.

*Stealing your mail. Get a Post Office box

*Breaking and entering. Change your locks immediately. Get the locksmith's advice on really sturdy locks!

*Vandalism. Make sure your homeowner's policy is up to date. Maybe install a few more outdoor lights, increase the wattage of your existing porch light bulbs, install a motion detector type "game camera" (all of this things could be done for a couple of hundred dollars)

*Arson. Make sure your neighbors know to call the police immediately if they see anybody -- especially her --around the outside of your house, doing anything except under the direction of you or your husband.

*Abducting your grandson. While I do not know the status of your legal "custody" -- be prepared for her to "nab" your grandson. No playing alone in the yard, things like that. Make sure your grandson has your phone numbers and address memorised.


Perhaps it is just as well you did not get this job right at this moment so you can be home and protect your grandson and your home.

Tell us how things are going. My guess is that she does not quietly fade away.

I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?

I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?

You should have called the police and filed charges. But you are clearly too fucking stupid. Now good luck proving all of this in the courts when it comes to custody.

What a moron.