what was the most naive or ridiculous thing you believed as a child

thunder was god moving furnitire
lightening was god turning on the ligjts
rain was god crying
he knew if you didn't go to mass

me too

That my father showed his love sexually like most other men in the cult.

That I just could stroll outside and go stand naked in front of a supermarket, don't remember it myself but my parents said that I got a lot of strange faces, who would've guessed.

The Sun was God

You were 100% correct if you are a politician!

G'rillas are now terrists.

I asked my Aunt why colored people had such shiny white teeth and she told me that it was because they eat a lot of garbage.......I believed her!

What? You mean the toothfairy isn't REAL???

To this day I still can't step on a crack. (or you break your mothers back) I dont want to test it.

If you got bitten by a vampire bat ...you became a vampire.

I never could find a vampire bat "sigh"

If you put ink on an eraser you had an ink eraser.

That men and women only had sex when they wanted a baby. Boy I was pissed off.

That Sandy Hook was a conspiracy.

in the first grade
I was told by a classmate
that chocolate milk
came from black cows

and I believed it, lol

Hahaha

its true

What made is worse was that Planet of the Apes was on TV every week.

when i was in school i could not get the "r" and the "n" in cursive writing. so i write to my aunt telling her "i hope you are fine" but instead of "n" in "fine" i wrote "i hope you are fire".

when my mom and dad would listen to radio; when i was toddler to tween age i always wonder how all those men and women and musicians and what not could fit into a little radio station somewhere; or perhaps there was a constant line of people playing music coming and going from the radio station...lol

That Mount Rushmore was a natural phenomenon.

Also I had a swim ring kayak so I thought all Kayaks has the legs and feet out the bottom to kick to make them go. Needless to say I lived in a very warm climate with not much concept of cold.

Actually, I had a lot of ridiculous things I believed as a child. Probably still do.

Women were nice and "more pure" than men.

In real life women tend to be backstabbers and liars almost across the board, and as for "purity" as one woman shrink put it to me: "The new statistics that say 70% of all married women have had an affair are incorrect. The number is actually higher than that, in fact it is almost universal in middle class suburbia."

That life was good and people were good. I know...
I live in the midwest in the middle of no where. As life goes on I am so sad its not true...
I thank God that I had that as a young one...

That my country was full of good people :P

That my mother was a moral good trustworthy person

If I didn't take an afternoon nap the Government would steal me away from my mother.

If I wondered outside alone big foot would "Get me".

I was always scared of people living in the shadows and they would appear whenever I looked away.

I thought women pooped baby's out when it was their time.

I also thought playing video games was real, like the monsters where real and I was doing the universe a favor by destroying them.

That I would never learn too swim or ride a bike.

I thought I was going too be a millionaire and cops were good guys and voting counted and North Americans were the good guys.

I thought I would never grow up.

I used too believe in God without anyone telling me of God when I was little. Then I stopped believing for my entire school life but after much thought and heavy amounts of research I do once again.

Funny how that worked out.

that the Nazi's were the only evil in the world

Hmm..start using your left hand now and finish the job..ya wont need glasses anymore.

When I was 5 years old, my health conscious grandmother would often ask me if I'd had a bowel movement. For some reason, I thought a bowel movement meant the squeaking sound my knee would sometimes make when I'd bend it back and forth. So when my grandmother would ask me if I'd had a bowel movement, most times I would say no. Then she'd lecture my mom on feeding me the proper foods.

Ditto

That color didn't exist before they made the switch to color TV.

Government was good.

that pop rocks [link to www.poprockscandy.com] and soda together would blow your stomach up. also that guns were scary.