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Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?

 
paul777

User ID: 16472123
Australia
05/07/2013 09:50 PM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Marriage is often the 1st sign of disrespect in a relationship.
 Quoting: paul777


would you care to elaborate, not disagreeing or agreeing just want some clarity to this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39460523


I've seen far too many couples who've got on just fine for many years as de-facto's , whose relationships deteriorate after they decide to tie the knot.

It's like many start to take the other for granted.

Not sure why.
"How well we know what a profitable superstition this fable of Christ has been for us"
Pope Leo X [1513-1521]
Tawandaaaa

User ID: 23829712
United States
05/07/2013 10:08 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
I watched some of the video....it's 24 min long, will save rest for later.

But, as a female, I am not interested in marrying again. I was never one to take money or have expectations from my ex. He was lucky with me.

I think more people, not just men, are reconsidering marriage. I do agree with GM, it's a trap. However, I love the romance of marriage, but it truly is not all its cracked up to be. Many are miserably married, and the other partner may not even have a clue, how unhappy their partner is.

If it ain't broken....don't fix it.
 Quoting: Seagal695


Same here. I have no desire to get remarried. My ex got off easy, too. I waived $2000/mo in alimony and agreed to lower child support than what his salary would normally require him to pay. I just wanted away from him. The first few years were rough, but I finally got back on my feet and have made a decent life for myself and the kid. He's filed bankruptcy 3 times (despite a salary twice what mine is and despite him having no debt when we got divorced.) He now lives in a rental in the biggest gang neighborhood in the city. I have a sweet little farmhouse now with some acreage that is almost paid for. Tell me again why I would want to get married? Sure, I missed the romance for awhile, but you can have that and a steady without marriage. And, like you said, a lot of married people are unhappy. A piece of paper doesn't guarantee happiness any more than a lack of a piece of paper requires you to be unhappy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23829712


We have a very similar story of how the divorce after life went :)

I'm content, like you, and doing far better than I ever was married.

I get funny looks when I say I will never remarry...but, I am content knowing I will never sacrifice my dignity or pride for a man, ever again.

I hear nightmare stories of women/wives, but I also hear stories of nightmare husbands. I wish them all well, but I think we have the better outcome :)
 Quoting: Seagal695


I agree. I'm perfectly content. Can I say that won't change in the future? No. Who knows - after my daughter is gone, I may decide being alone isn't all it is cracked up to be or I may come across someone without even looking. Never say never, but it isn't something I'm out there looking for or feel that I'm missing out on right now. But, again, you can have a relationship and romance without marriage. I just don't see that marriage in and of itself has anything to offer.

(Sorry - wasn't signed in earlier.)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39448947
Australia
05/07/2013 10:09 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
There aren't many decent guys left who I would consider getting into a relationship with let alone marriage. All in debt, bitter, kids who don't talk to them. Blech!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39379014
Luxembourg
05/07/2013 10:58 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
We live in a society where in no way does a divorce benefit the male. It's a punishment. While for the woman it's a second chance.

So the reason for men not marrying is pretty self evident to me. Who signs a contract that states you will be the responsible party for all damages if the agreement fails?
Regardless of the conditions under which the business failed.

It's just x's and o's. Until the game changes the rules it will only become more common. So be it.
SilverPatriot

User ID: 39491380
United States
05/07/2013 11:31 PM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
why the hell would a man marry a woman in todays world?

it does nothing to keep the woman

she can leave / divorce him whenever she wants for no reason at all and take half his shit

fuck that shit

it's a total trap
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


In the world today, there are countless women who are currently the family breadwinners society is changing thus your skewed view of the poor victimized male does no one justice.

Perhaps men are simply undergoing changes and their egos cannot yet accept their newly evolved position of being working equals. Further, if the woman works a 50/50 split is fair especially if there re children involved
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38848264
United States
05/07/2013 11:36 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
thankless ones :(

memememememememe
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39324799
United States
05/07/2013 11:52 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Feminism in its current form is fucked up. The reigns were handed to the dark, minority of the lesbian population (most lesbians are decent folk).

They have used there role as the lead voices as feminism to cock block men.

Women have been taught to be like men as a way of being treated equally. It is an attack on their own femininity.

Females are born the gatekeepers of life and pleasure. Not too mention they are usually capable of great wisdom and strength as well. Basically, they were born strong and powerful.

In the past, It was not wrong that women were homemakesprs, it was bad they were limited to it. Now they are judged as weak if they desire to be a homemaker.

Therefore, why would men desire marriage? Their role in procreation has been marginalized by feminists. They are just walking sperm banks...a means to an end. The only place they still get to be men is in bed. So why not "fuck and run"?

Otherwise, men have been marterialized and portrayed as buffoons.

I feel bad for men and women. They both feel alone and unsatisfied in this version of society.

Women feel used and alone and men feel worthless and castrated. It is classic divide and conquer tactics.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39324799
United States
05/07/2013 11:55 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
why the hell would a man marry a woman in todays world?

it does nothing to keep the woman

she can leave / divorce him whenever she wants for no reason at all and take half his shit

fuck that shit

it's a total trap
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


In the world today, there are countless women who are currently the family breadwinners society is changing thus your skewed view of the poor victimized male does no one justice.

Perhaps men are simply undergoing changes and their egos cannot yet accept their newly evolved position of being working equals. Further, if the woman works a 50/50 split is fair especially if there re children involved
 Quoting: SilverPatriot


Modern feminism has victimized both sexes. So yes, men have been victimized.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39324799
United States
05/07/2013 11:58 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
We live in a society where in no way does a divorce benefit the male. It's a punishment. While for the woman it's a second chance.

So the reason for men not marrying is pretty self evident to me. Who signs a contract that states you will be the responsible party for all damages if the agreement fails?
Regardless of the conditions under which the business failed.

It's just x's and o's. Until the game changes the rules it will only become more common. So be it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39379014


No...because not all women get paid equal for equal work, all men should be screwed in a divorce. Even if he is leaving/being dumped by a rotten wench ( news flash...not all women are decent people).
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39119934
05/07/2013 11:59 PM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1 Tim. 2:14)

And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her. (Eccl. 7:26)

For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. (Rom. 4:3)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39324799
United States
05/08/2013 12:00 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
There aren't many decent guys left who I would consider getting into a relationship with let alone marriage. All in debt, bitter, kids who don't talk to them. Blech!!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39448947


Yes...because there are zero odds you could just be an insufferable skag.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32843213
United States
05/08/2013 12:06 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Marriage has gone from a Spiritual commitment between man and woman, where their family and friends, witness their joint affections and loyalties to one another in a ritual service conducted by a spiritual witness for gods blessing.

Now a Marriage is between any 2 people to contractually bind them legally in the eyes of government via permits, licensing, fees and taxes so someone in the union can be held responsible under the law for paying debts.

Marriage today is nothing more then a business agreement to most.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36754068


Pretty much. In any culture before the modern era this was fairly true. Although it was more regulated and families would arrange marriages more, just stating that for fairness.

Marriage as it should be is a daily choice to commit oneself to the other half. It shouldn't be taken lightly, because one wavering doubt can plant years of distrust and doubt. That's why courtship should take a year plus before engagement is mentioned, let alone seriously considered.

In the modern era though...first kiss by second date (with who knows what kinds of timelines after), things move too fast for a proper relationship to develop, and thus you move ten steps down the line of what you do only to find out a fatal flaw and then trash the entire relationship with a monumental fight where you lose whatever friendship you might have had to begin with.

I'm reminded of a scene from Married with Children, Al and Peg are in a video store and she picks up a video called "Four Weddings and a Funeral"

AL: "That's five of the same thing..."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39324799
United States
05/08/2013 12:10 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
eh, things will turn around in the near future. when this whole joke of an economy collapses, earth changes, blah blah blah doom happens, women who can't say enough how they don't need a man will go running for one (and I'm a woman saying this.) Better one man to protect you than 20 men to pass you around. In a SHTF scenario, men and women will revert to their traditional gender roles. Family will become important again. Men will take pride in protecting the most vulnerable in their families and women will appreciate them for it. We are living in an unnatural state. What cannot continue, will stop....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24564357


Bravo, I think your on to something,brings back the basics. We are dependent on each other to survive.
 Quoting: Passiveobsessive


This is the pink elephant feminists run from. Why? Because they know this is true. Biology doesn't lie. Men are infused with more testosterone. They are bigger and stronger than women before picking up a weight.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39379014
Luxembourg
05/08/2013 12:10 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
We live in a society where in no way does a divorce benefit the male. It's a punishment. While for the woman it's a second chance.

So the reason for men not marrying is pretty self evident to me. Who signs a contract that states you will be the responsible party for all damages if the agreement fails?
Regardless of the conditions under which the business failed.

It's just x's and o's. Until the game changes the rules it will only become more common. So be it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39379014


No...because not all women get paid equal for equal work, all men should be screwed in a divorce. Even if he is leaving/being dumped by a rotten wench ( news flash...not all women are decent people).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39324799


It's a pretty simple solution. Dont take the chance. If she loves you and truly wants to protect you she will either offer to sign a prenup or will not protest when you ask her to. Prenups dont even protect you in some states.

Thats the way men are headed until things change. If they never change so be it. Just dont get married and live without the paper. No big deal.
r7
User ID: 35488930
United Kingdom
05/08/2013 12:21 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
wish i never married
will never again fuck woman
dont tell my wife i still have to break it to her
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 729577
Germany
05/08/2013 12:28 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Am I the only one here who likes being married?

But I see everyone's points.

The women here are not as badly infected with the feminism insanity. (Which is unfeminine)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39449456
Australia
05/08/2013 12:30 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
There's nothing wrong with marriage. Most people who are against the idea have either been hurt in the past or have trust issues. Get over yourselves and stop being so negative.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39449456
Australia
05/08/2013 12:39 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
There's nothing wrong with marriage. Most people who are against the idea have either been hurt in the past or have trust issues. Get over yourselves and stop being so negative.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39449456


lol

can you tell me what the point of it is?

you make vows that can be broken

you say till death do we part but that's not the case at all

and how is it at ALL fair that if the woman decides to leave she should get half your shit AND your kids

but YOU get to continue to pay for it the rest of your life as a man

fuck that

it's a total fucking sham
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


That's why you wait for the right person to come along before settling down and getting married.

A news reporter asked this old couple who had been married for 45 years "What's the secret to a successful marriage"?

And their response was "Never go to bed angry". hf
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
05/08/2013 12:41 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
I recall reading some studies awhile back where men from divorced families were more likely not to get married. Another recent statistic pointd out that 47% of women giving birth now are unmarried - one could easily speculate that there just aren't enough strong family men husbands/fathers in the picture as role models for these young men. It's no wonder they are not comfortable creating a family of their own after growing up in a broken household.

Some here may remember years back that the goal in high school/college was to meet up with someone, get married and raise a family. Now it seems the goal is to make money and just survive.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
05/08/2013 12:43 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
There's nothing wrong with marriage. Most people who are against the idea have either been hurt in the past or have trust issues. Get over yourselves and stop being so negative.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39449456


lol

can you tell me what the point of it is?

you make vows that can be broken

you say till death do we part but that's not the case at all

and how is it at ALL fair that if the woman decides to leave she should get half your shit AND your kids

but YOU get to continue to pay for it the rest of your life as a man

fuck that

it's a total fucking sham
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


That's why you wait for the right person to come along before settling down and getting married.

A news reporter asked this old couple who had been married for 45 years "What's the secret to a successful marriage"?

And their response was "Never go to bed angry". hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39449456


this isn't the same world mate

there is no right person

lol

what a fool
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


Actually it starts off with the right attitude. Having two failed marriages sucked. But the 3rd one is over 30 years now and still great - so is the sex.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill
Astral Goat
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User ID: 33435073
United States
05/08/2013 12:44 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Ladies, guys don't want to marry a Yenta.

look up the word if you have problems.
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Epicbiscuit

User ID: 11214940
United States
05/08/2013 12:44 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Women partner- yes. I need love. Marriage by law, hell fucking no.
SevenThunders

User ID: 15851599
United States
05/08/2013 01:05 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Marriage has gone from a Spiritual commitment between man and woman, where their family and friends, witness their joint affections and loyalties to one another in a ritual service conducted by a spiritual witness for gods blessing.

Now a Marriage is between any 2 people to contractually bind them legally in the eyes of government via permits, licensing, fees and taxes so someone in the union can be held responsible under the law for paying debts.

Marriage today is nothing more then a business agreement to most.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36754068


Ahhh, the first deep insight I've seen on this forum, not that the others didn't have good points to make.

Here are some simple facts. Marriage has ALWAYS been first a business arrangement and then a love arrangement if you really worked hard at it.

The norm throughout history was to arrange marriages. Because frankly you can't leave something as important as raising a family and choosing a mate to the flighty lusts of doughy eyed teenagers or even twenty somethings with brains full of mush.

I mean no disrespect to our youth, but I remember my youth and I was a complete fool until around my 25th birthday. I couldn't plan my way out of a paper bag.

Romantic love is largely a fantasy created by hollywood. Note that the Bible's commands with regards to marriage are that husbands love their wives and wives respect their husbands.

See love is a command! It is not something you fall into, like a ditch on the side of the road. Marriage is a life long commitment, a vow, a business arrangement wherein your wife helps nurture and raise children and the husband provides and protects.

Since human beings are, for the most part, designed to have sexual attraction to the opposite sex, for the purpose of procreation, it is critical that one assumes this contract for the sake of the children one produces.

It should be self evident that this arrangement is still superior than randomly generating a brood of fatherless children and it is in fact God's plan. He takes it very seriously. The Bible says that adulterers and fornicators (sex outside of marriage), will spend an eternity in hell if they do not repent. That's how serious it is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38624289
United States
05/08/2013 01:06 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
If you like the relationship you're in, why not, say, just stay in the relationship? When you blow a shitload of bank on a wedding, all you're doing is indulging your own vanity, and setting yourself up for future problems.

Long term monogamous relationships? Fantastic!

Marriage as a legal institution? The only benefit is tax advantages if you file jointly. GM and others have covered the disadvantages fairly well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 729577
Germany
05/08/2013 01:13 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
When you blow a shitload of bank on a wedding, all you're doing is indulging your own vanity, and setting yourself up for future problems.


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38624289


I spent $70 dollars. Justice of the Peace.

cool2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24120121
India
05/08/2013 01:16 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Single. Can't marry.
Can't get along with any of them. Lol.
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
05/08/2013 01:24 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
...


That's why you wait for the right person to come along before settling down and getting married.

A news reporter asked this old couple who had been married for 45 years "What's the secret to a successful marriage"?

And their response was "Never go to bed angry". hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39449456


this isn't the same world mate

there is no right person

lol

what a fool
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


Actually it starts off with the right attitude. Having two failed marriages sucked. But the 3rd one is over 30 years now and still great - so is the sex.
 Quoting: Alexander


you are what we refer too as someone who never learns

lol

3rd marriage

HAHAHAHAHA
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


30 years happily married now. 31 years together. First marriage was at 19 - for sex. Second marriage for image. Lost everything with that one. Third marriage was for compatibility, mutual love/respect, to grow old with someone, raise a family together and for sex. People just don't get how good it can be if all they have experienced is disappointment. Finding a compatible partner is key. And even after all of this time we still have fun and keep learning new things about each other.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38730115
United States
05/08/2013 01:30 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
What's the point of getting married anymore? All it is is a contract with one another that only benefits the woman if it gets broken, regardless of who breaks it. If you love someone a stupid piece of paper isn't going to make it any more or less legitimate.
Generation Doom

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05/08/2013 01:30 AM

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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
Marriage has gone from a Spiritual commitment between man and woman, where their family and friends, witness their joint affections and loyalties to one another in a ritual service conducted by a spiritual witness for gods blessing.

Now a Marriage is between any 2 people to contractually bind them legally in the eyes of government via permits, licensing, fees and taxes so someone in the union can be held responsible under the law for paying debts.

Marriage today is nothing more then a business agreement to most.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 36754068


This. Every time one of these threads come up people always forget the spiritual aspect of it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32843213
United States
05/08/2013 04:49 AM
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Re: Men not marrying. How deep does the problem go?
What's the point of getting married anymore? All it is is a contract with one another that only benefits the woman if it gets broken, regardless of who breaks it. If you love someone a stupid piece of paper isn't going to make it any more or less legitimate.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38730115


exactly
 Quoting: Ghetto Monk


Makes you wonder: Can marriage as an institution be salvaged, even if it has to be overhauled a lot?

Seems the basic problem is that the government does more than just record it happening. What is it now, you have to have marriage counseling beforehand, blood tests, background check...credit check probably as well? Then there's what the father in law to be will do to you, but you have that coming for doing his daughter...

So what if we just...swept that bs away? If we emphasized in society suddenly that marriage was a man and a woman vowing to face the world as one. In essence exchange life rights. The ceremony is details, but the fact that these two promise to stand by one another, and that there is no way out (so get rid of divorce as it is now. no easy way out anymore, make exceptions for the extreme reasons, abuse and so on) is universal from what I've learned of other marriage ceremonies, so let's focus on that.

On second thought...maybe that's not such a good idea, homicide rates would increase wouldn't they? Although, if you exchanged life rights...wouldn't that be suicide?

Something else that doesn't help is that a man's wage, just doesn't support a family anymore. In many cases both parents must work just to maintain a standard of living that would be considered lower-middle class. Address that and some problems would begin to reverse in a generation or two. It'd take time, but this stuff is fixable if enough people commit to it.

Or enough people care.

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