To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)

Never mind a pin, it needs a health and safety warning. Just how do you get coffee out of the keyboard?

You don't...i guess i just call the IT guys and have em bring a sham wow or something???

(pssst...AC 699050...somebody told me to tell you to ask your doctor about Levitra)

Maybe you should use one of them there shampons.



-- You may as well have asked for that one!

+!

One day a couple decades ago I was at work in an office where the cubicles have their backs to each other, about 8 of them 4 on each side. Mine wasn't in that row, however.

So I'm standing there listening to someone tell me a story when I felt like I had to fart. I couldn't cut this person off and I couldn't hold it. It was one of those silent but deadly ones, which I couldn't predict. As soon as this person shut up I had to walk down the entire row of cubes to get back to my desk and was hoping I could make it. Nope.

So I get back to my desk and I start hearing my co-workers saying stuff like "It wasn't me" and "Turn the fan on, it's coming this way." I couldn't stop laughing. Later on, someone walked by me and gives me a really dirty look, they figured out it was me.

I did what any idiot would do in that situation. I stood at the end of the row of cubicles and apologized with a totally straight face. Some smart ass said "You might want to see a doctor for that." I just cracked up.

Believe it or not, it was a true ad in Craigslist. I read it online at work and almost blew coffee out of my nose. The OP of that ad is from Missoula, Montana. I think it was written sometime in April of this year.

And it's a classic for the ages...

So, go now, good GLPers, and henceforth & evermore
do (doo doo...snort, snort) spread this tale of "she who poopeth in the car."

BWAAAH HAHAHAHA HA HA !!!



Classic GLP poo thread.

...and what's the only thing that could possibly
improve it?


MORE COWBELL!! (there's your cue, Frigg...)

:dogncat:

and here's another story......Snopes calls it false, probably, but the story was told on Jay Leno's Tonight Show

the story I heard was that the couple got married, but who knows....funny story whether it's made up or not:

We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize, hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." .And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment . "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off

Holy cow that's absurdly funny. Something oddly intimate in that ritual, AngryMom!

Last Edited by Andromeda on 06/10/2009 01:16 AM

So be it!

Yuk!

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

That would be even more zany if a grizzly bear had mauled them both and killed them.

....................................................​...
you are worth forgeting .. you are crass and dumb. everyone has had an occasion stomach vius that suddendly caused loose bowels hidden in occasional gassy stomach or vague unusual intestinal cramps ... since no reply came to you from her, it is ovious that she is not interested.. so your crass unsensitive remarks and may even still be insulting to her ...... go crawl under your rock, moron. What educated adult still uses the "poop" word and "pee" word any way . kids use that when they are little, but older kids even say "excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom" .that says intentions . So why dont you grow up . and use adult language .. poop and pee words trashy people's words . were you raised by a unwed teen .from a welfare home.

LOL...imagine how they would be giggling and suddenly a huge bear roars and their faces would be contorted into stark terror in an instant.

50/50...you either do it or you don't. Same odds apply to everything. Will you won the lottery? Easy to figure...you either do it or you don't...obviously a 50/50 chance.

great read to lighten the heart!

That was a good one! I sent it to my son for him and my grandson who have taught my great grandson (3 yr old) to fart and think it's funny.

I had to laugh!

PS, when I accidentally fart in front of my 3 yr old great grandson, we laugh and laugh and laugh, so I'm guilty as well and I'm a woman.

STFU retard!

Oops..i meant this retard!

yoohoo or choco bev probably gives squirts. glad i don't like them

for hilarity

...cuz it's Friday, and nothing says "I'm gonna get the
most out of a Friday night" like crappin' in someone's car.

...heeeeyyyyy, long time, no bump!

Anybody ever had the squitters? Those are great fun,especially when you're trying to make it home from a 2.5 mile walk!!!!

A hilarious story about a man and his tapeworm.

[link to www.fray.com]

Well, it is nice to have something on this site to laugh at with all the other crap happening in our world. Whether it is fact or crap haha, it was funny.