Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells everyone at Bar How Screwed US Economy Really Is | |
Frankenstein (OP) User ID: 952673 United States 08/03/2011 10:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 1422475 United States 08/03/2011 10:49 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My aplogies to the AC who posted this in a thread earlier but it was too good to leave buried. Would be ROLMAO if it wasn't so damn true. Story is reported from the Onion so use your own discernment Quoting: FrankensteinDrunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth." Another bargoer confirmed Bernanke stood about 2 inches from her face and sprayed her with saliva, claiming inflation was going to "totally screw" consumer confidence and then asking if he could bum a smoke. "Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you." Read full stoty here: [link to www.theonion.com] / I'm raising the bullshit flag for 2 reasons: 1. No one who's sloshed would be able to speak that last sentence. 2. The Onion is a satirical publication! So ... here she goes ... |
Frankenstein (OP) User ID: 952673 United States 08/03/2011 10:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My aplogies to the AC who posted this in a thread earlier but it was too good to leave buried. Would be ROLMAO if it wasn't so damn true. Story is reported from the Onion so use your own discernment Quoting: FrankensteinDrunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth." Another bargoer confirmed Bernanke stood about 2 inches from her face and sprayed her with saliva, claiming inflation was going to "totally screw" consumer confidence and then asking if he could bum a smoke. "Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you." Read full stoty here: [link to www.theonion.com] / I'm raising the bullshit flag for 2 reasons: 1. No one who's sloshed would be able to speak that last sentence. 2. The Onion is a satirical publication! So ... here she goes ... Really,? i've done better than that on more octance. But BS or not, i'm still LMAO... so damn funny Last Edited by Frankenstein on 08/03/2011 10:53 AM |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 1492759 United States 08/03/2011 12:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My aplogies to the AC who posted this in a thread earlier but it was too good to leave buried. Would be ROLMAO if it wasn't so damn true. Story is reported from the Onion so use your own discernment Quoting: FrankensteinDrunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth." Another bargoer confirmed Bernanke stood about 2 inches from her face and sprayed her with saliva, claiming inflation was going to "totally screw" consumer confidence and then asking if he could bum a smoke. "Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you." Read full stoty here: [link to www.theonion.com] / Helicopter Ben smokes? Doesn't he know it will stunt the economic growth? |
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Frankenstein (OP) User ID: 952673 United States 08/03/2011 02:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Haha, the Onion has become real news Quoting: BubbleHeadI callbecause there's no fucking way he'd be able to go to a public bar without being fucking hung.Not around here anyway. you why i'd call BS? Because the article says he slammed back X number of Miller High Life... but the drunken pic shows him drinking what appears to be a Bud brown bottler with red label. I drink Miller and it's a clear bottle. Stay Thirsty My Friends.... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1483994 United States 08/03/2011 02:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Lord.Kalin User ID: 1295383 United States 08/03/2011 02:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Haha, the Onion has become real news Quoting: BubbleHead:LordKayleSig4: - "Your best investment is ammo, because it's going to weird quickly." - AC 1196210 - "Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God" - Thomas Jefferson's Personal Seal |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 272140 United States 08/03/2011 02:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's the ONION you fucking retard, dont post satire on this site or else the nuts will just get nuttier and we dont want anymore fucking peanut butter on this website Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1483994Have a nutter nutter butter peanut smmich cookie....LOL |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 272140 United States 08/03/2011 03:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's the ONION you fucking retard, dont post satire on this site or else the nuts will just get nuttier and we dont want anymore fucking peanut butter on this website Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1483994Have a nutter nutter butter peanut smmich cookie....LOL Sammich to you'uns. |