My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight

Yeah....sorry OP but this is the same thing I was thinking.
DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY ALL AROUND.

It feeds on itself.

Read up on borderline personality disorder (BPD). She definitely has something going on. Stay as far away from her as humanly possible. Protect yourself and your husband.

We know you love your GS, but he isn't your child. You have no legal say over his life. Until then, stay away. Your GS will probably end up hating you after getting brainwashed by her anyway. They'll just end up using you, taking your money and your peace of mind.

have you ever tried being nice when giving out advice...
or just being nice?

There's a lot of people, perhaps well meaning, some just mean, who are weighing down this person when they are suffering.

If someone is drowning you don't push on their head and put them under.

Not cool.

Thank you. What you said made me cry because that's how I feel - like a Zombie today, making one decision at a time. So hard. So I just back from court and filed for a temporary restraining order plus asked for her to attend 52 weeks of a batterer program (don't know if they will make her do that or not?) and asked for move out orders. So it takes about 24-48 hours for me to find out. Now I'm going to call the cop that came out yesterday and ask about pressing charges and getting advice on that. I feel much better now though exhausted. On top of this I have an broken tooth (molar) that is infected (abscess) and I'm on antibiotics so I can get this broken tooth pulled. I think that's another reason my heart was going wacko yesterday - just overwhelmed with pain both mental and physical. And for those of that have posted mean things, time to think about if the shoe was on the other foot and how would you want to be treated.

I always seek to be a peacemaker. Just saying.

I don't know about the town you live in, but here I know a dentist that will work with poor folks to help them with an abscess.

An abscess can be a serious condition. The bacterial infection can attach to the maxillary nerve which is cranial nerve five and goes around the teeth.
[link to www.meddean.luc.edu]

When poor, you can irrigate the area with water and a weak liquid soap and wash away the infection. You can do that with an empty clean syringe (not the needle, just the tube) or by cleaning out a squirt gun with some clean water and bleach since it'll be dirty. It stings a little, but if you mix a little fresh pressed garlic juice into the abscess it will help kill the bacteria.

By the time you have an abscess, most people let the size of the hole get too large. If it's small, once properly cleaned, you can temporarily patch it. They sell that in good drugstores.

You MUST clean it first, otherwise you seal in the bacteria which is very bad.

Doing this gives you some relief until you can afford to be treated.

Using a little clove oil, which is still used by some dentists, it will anesthetize the area and alleviate the pain and is cheap.

Take care of yourself. You're letting yourself get rundown, and your grandson needs you.

If you don't take care of the abscess, you'll see puffiness as the infection spreads to your sinuses and potential fever, and let's not go there, ok?
[link to dentistry.about.com]

Never swallow what you irrigated as that is a primary reason we have heart disease from that strain of bacteria (Strep mutans)

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/07/2013 07:26 PM

Thank you. I found out that I do have some limited dental through a county program here. I lost my dental a few months ago when my husband got laid off. It was supposed to have been pulled months ago. I can go real early in the morning and hopefully I've been on antibiotics long enough for them to pull it. I just want this gone. Sooo much pain. And yes I've been putting aspirin directly on the tooth, tried garlic (didn't help) and ice on swollen face. And Tramadol but I don't think that's working very well. And I have an interview for a really good job this Saturday and now all this. And I'm supposed to be preparing for that, they have asked for me to put some reports together and it's pretty important. It's the perfect job for me as an art director for a small non-profit art gallery.

Good luck with the interview and everything else.

Because the economy is in the toilet, I've been sharing old ancestral wisdom about the ways they would have coped with issues. That kind of stuff is my signature since we have to take care of ourselves and find inexpensive but realistic and practical ways to do it.

never get government involved with family issues.......


Its worse in the long run.

Same people that bitch about government in their lives , are here saying call the cops.


What a bunch of idiots.Pay you f'in taxes and love your obamacare/gun confiscation.

typical murkan psychobitch from hell. They think they rule the world now.

I'm glad to see you got some professional help in dealing with this problem. It sounded like it was getting way out of hand and entirely too much for you to deal with on your own. As difficult as it seems you are doing the best thing for everyone involved, including your ex daughter-in-law.

You should try to contact your local colleges, who have dental programs. Most of them need volunteers to use in teaching. Any student dental work is done under direct supervision of a dentist. I had a friend who did this and it worked out great for her. Just a suggestion.

Your post me realize that the decision to stay away from my wife's side of the family was and is a great idea.

Had it out with my sister in law last year, lucky I have control. Total fucking trash cussing in my front yard and running her mouth off. Told her to get the fuck out, so she tried to get me to hit her instead. Cops showed up, told em I wanted them off my property and he kicked them the fuck down the street.

I guess my point is, don't settle for that shit. You don't need it. Get some peace in your life.

Well I appreciate your help and advice. I think it's time we returned to a simpler and more natural life anyway. My tooth is getting loose now and I'm inclined to pull on it but I know that's probably not a good idea. I had a big filling from when I was little girl that cracked open, then the tooth broke in half because there wasn't alot of the tooth as it was. Been dealing on and off for over a year now with it.

I agree...something has to be done to protect the child, she is out of her mind.

I think I would have lost it if that was me...sorry for your troubles.

The best thing you can do for your grandson is to love his mother. She seems to have the sort of problems that start in early childhood. You won't cure her or fix her. But she's not the only problem person in your family. Sounds like you all resorted to hitting at some point in your lives. You are all pretty dysfunctional. Snatching custody won't help. You all need some kind of therapy so you can all learn what you were supposed to learn before the age of three--now to interact without hitting or spitting or punching or becoming hysterical. You can learn. There's something called Dialectical therapy that would be great for all of you.

Grandsons mother sounds like a dangerously mentally ill woman but she is the boys mother and children need their own mothers and let's be real clear that sane and normal men who grew up in nice families don't conceive children with crazies like this. You aren't much better than her--although older and probably mellowed and wise with experience. All of you together can learn to be a respectable family. Scapegoating the childs mother will only hurt him without healing anyone. Go for the healing for everyone all together. For the childs sake.

Please do go to the police station and file a report. Spitting on you is assault. She damaged your property too. She needs to learn to be accountable for her actions. Document all this but don't rush to get restraining orders or custody. Just let her explain herself to the judge and have to say sorry and pay for what she broke. Ask everyone you encounter along the way for a good family therapist.

Get a good therapist for yourself. you obviously love your little buddy. You are a great source of love and security for him. Make yourself healthy and strong for him.

God bless your efforts and give you guidance.

Someone spits in my face and it's instant chokeslam. No words. Grabbed by the throat and grounded.

See women are the over all problem .

It dont just stop with one , they are all batshit crazy.

no government , love government,no government , love government,no government , love government

Take your false teeth out and use them to slash her throat!

I understand your trying to stay out of their business. This situation involved you tho, the minute she began busting up your jeep and then spit in your face, she pulled you into the situation. You now need to stand up for your rights, because if you do nothing, she gets away with it, and will likely figure she can do anything she wants, next time. And if you don't do anything about this, there will be a next time.

I suggest charging her with assault, and charge her for damages to your jeep. Start collecting a paper trail with this. Add to it anything you can remember from what she's done/said in the past, to you/your GS/your son/anyone, along with approx dates, if you can remember.

Thank God for your neighbor, who was willing to get involved and come to your aid. I wish you had gone to the hospital when the ambulance came for you. You still can go get yourself checked out tho, and keep the doc's report for a paper trail. Doc reports are VERY important to have, especially if it comes to getting a restraining order against her. At the very least, try getting a copy of the EMT's report. You'll want a copy of the police report too. And perhaps a written statement from your neighbor on what they heard/saw/did.

The next thing I'd do is try to convince your son to go to court with all this, and try to get 'supervised' drop-offs for visitation. Not that HE needs to be supervised, SHE does... when it comes to the actual visitation exchange. The paper trail you collect will be able to be used in court to explain to the judge how UNSTABLE she is when it comes to your son trying to pick your GS up for visitation. The court will likely assign a social worker to pick your GS up from his moms place, and drive him to visitation with your son. Then sons gf cannot have her temper fits, which could result in someone getting hurt.

Please do not wait before taking action, thinking maybe it won't happen again. These things usually DO happen again, and maybe next time it might be much much worse.

Take action now! If you cannot do it for yourself, or your son, do it for your grandson.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers....

If crazy jarhead was here he would tell you to punch that bitch in the neck.

Until we have a collapse of civillization, and live on frontiers like the old West, you can't take matters in your own hands, no matter how funny it is to suppose you can on an Internet forum. Well unless you like being butt-raped in prison with all of nice understanding folks there who'd just love to meet a conservative prepper type?

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/07/2013 08:31 PM

I grew up with a good family - got spanked occasionally but I was a pretty good kid till I became a teenager. My husband (my sons stepdad) - has not been the greatest influence - ex marine who is hard to communicate with and a very hard person to get along with sometimes. Yes, some bad past mistakes. I don't know much about GS's mom except that both her parents are (or were) alcoholics. My son was diagnosed with bi-polar as a teen (also ADHD) and his life has been a struggle - and has been with her who I think is bi-polar too. What a mess. My son does take meds, it does help him and he knows he needs them to stabilize him. It's been very hard.

I agree with you, it's time for her to leave. And yes, that may mean your GS has to leave with her. This might just violate her probation, which means she may go to jail, yep. Also means you will then very likely have the opportunity to file for full legal and sole custody of your GS. Heh heh, that might solve the problem.

Sounds to me like she needs some kind of evaluation done, because it sure sounds like she is an unstable mom, the way it is now. Can your son go for sole custody? If she's in jail, someone will need to.

Good Good, you're taking the important steps, and that's good! Take care of things bit by bit. Doing one thing, then stepping back to see what the next step is, that will help to clear your head. I'm betting when your tooth is taken care off, you'll feel even better. It IS hard to make one decision at a time! with each thing done, it gives you more strength to face the next step.

Stomp her ass like lil reese did to some random hoe

op, I hope this helps:

I'm waiting for the cop that came out last night to call me beck. Yes I do think it violates her probation (on probation for theft - twice) Yes my son could take him full time while she is in jail (if that's what happens). He is only working temp jobs right now, looking for permanent work. My GS is in preschool and I'm on the pick-list so I could still take him to school if that happened.

Don't you just love kids?