What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?

This is all true. If she had the strength of character to do this, she would have a good prognosis and she could fix all the damage.

It's a gut check. Nobody can make her do it. She'll fail if she doesn't do something like this.

Google it..look for side effects and experiences from people who use it.

I've never had this that I know of, but I think that prayer would be a way out of this. Probably the alcohol lowers her psychic barriers and the bad guys get in. God will clean them out if she simply asks.

No churches, no healers needed, it only needs to take five minutes. All she has to do is ask.

Whatever the catalyst was, nobody really needs to know. The only thing that will help is for her to come to grips with it on her own, if she decides to talk about it, that's her choice.

Nature and animals.

I've been down a few roads myself and I can tell you that an appreciation for nature and the love of an animal can help her. They've even started using animals to reform prisoners which has had an amazing success rate.

Getting into nature will separate her from the negative influences. The fresh air and beauty is therapeutic on its own. I'd recommend a horseback riding trip. People and horses have a strange sort of connection, probably from having relied on each other for so many years. Let her have her drinks on the trip (nobody likes being forced to do anything and forcing her not to might drive her further away) but I'll bet she slows it down herself after a few days.

There are responsibilities that are required when taking care of a horse, as that horse will take care of you on the trail. A bond develops, and anyone that is in pain emotionally is really just searching for that special bond.

Right now her love is alcohol, all she needs is something else to love. Something more rewarding.

The money spent on counseling would be much better spent finding something for her to love. Even a counselor will tell you that they can't help unless the person wants to help themselves.

She'll help herself given the right tools and direction.

Try the trip. Not too short but not too long either.
You want her to want to go back. Long enough to develop a bond but not too long that she gets sick of it... Small doses till she gets hooked (pun intended). Fight addiction with addiction, but in a smarter way.

She feels alcohol has an anesthetic effect on whatever emotional pain she has. She has to be willing to help herself.Usually a person has to "hit bottom" before they "get it".

I wish the best for both of you.

The term "panic attack" sounds random and somewhat harmless but having suffered from them for many years prior to the "label" being given, I can assure you it is hell on earth for the "victim".

You feel absolutely helpless and it is near impossible to interact with people. I have never been a drinker but I can absolutely see where medicating with alcohol would be a natural course of action.

Just going through the very mundane acts of life become so overwhelming that suicide seems a viable option.

I am going to take a giant leap here and assume she is your daughter. If so, why the need to hide it? Perhaps your nic and avatar are a clue into her mindset as well?

Look at the world these young people are growing up in. Everyone who is supposed to represent honor, dignity, morals etc. are corrupt liars. How can they possibly feel they have a bright future when everywhere you look, every aspect of life is in complete chaos and freefall.

I truly don't know how parents make it through life without God. I remember the day I fell on my knees and "gave" my children to the Lord. My son was just getting ready to go into the Air Force at the beginning of the gulf war and my daughter was a spoiled very rebellious young 13 year old. I have never regretted that decision. He has kept His hand on their lives and they both have a healthy fear, respect and love for Him.

I do not know what your spiritual stance is but it is OUR responsibility as parents to set examples for our children. I would suggest you get your life in right standing with the Lord. God is not obligated to hear your prayers let alone act on them without having a personal relationship with you through His Son.

Your response to this reality could prove to be a life or death matter for this girl. I pray you make the right decision, for you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.

I would not exchange the peace and assurance I have KNOWING that God holds every day of my life in His Hands. NOTHING but NOTHING happens to me that He hasn't given His stamp of approval on. And He promises He will NEVER leave. As much as we love and want the absolute best for our children.. He wants this for us times 10,000.

At this time when suicide seems to be the popular way out of lifes hurts, I would not recommend sitting back and letting "nature" take its course.

Prayers for all involved.

Oh my sweet sweet sister. I am so very sorry for your unimaginable pain and loss.

Where would we be without the Love from our precious Savior.

Prayers and hugs to you.

she needs a family intervention. she is an addict and it must be dealt with.

I have to agree with the poster. I drank because I was depressed. The alcohol exacerbated the situation. I could always tell when I was depressed because after weeks of not drinking I would feel the need for a drink.

She is an alcoholic and will never change until she admits it to herself and has the drive to change herself. Nothing anyone can do will change her. She has to want to change that is the only way she will get better.

Call your local police station and ask where they take people who are drunk and need to dry out. The place they use is a good first step.

Call that place and ask how they work and whether you can bring someone in who is so drunk they can't stand.

This happened to me in Columbus with my brother.

He went to a group that helped him and sent him to MaryHaven and then to a sober house and then out.

He was sober for 9 months after 30 years of drinking.

NOW, this week, he is back to drinking.

He will be dead in a year or homeless again if he doesn't get help.

Good luck!

That certainly sounds like a seizure. Does she have any history of seizures in childhood or of traumatic brain injury? There are many non obvious medical conditions which can lead to self medication with alcohol, and they all need to be ruled out in the case of such abnormal responses. If she is on hormonal birth control, she could've had stroke during her inital binge. Or she could be bipolar,Or she could've been brutally raped her first week of college or this could be adult onset schizophrenia, or just a phase. But somebody needs to properly access her in an inpatient setting.


That's one reason I hate rehab facilities, because, like jails, most places haven't a clue what to do about medical issues. So if you do get hold of her again, for godssakes get her to a real doctor before sticking her in some for profit treatment warehouse. I know a guy who went through court ordered rehab here with a brain tumor the size of an orange. They just keep giving him meds for his nausea and laughing when he ran into the walls.

Remember folks with "anxiety", get tested-this is becoming more common now that they have a simple test for it: [link to www.mayoclinic.com]

Signs and symptoms of pheochromocytomas may include:
High blood pressure
Rapid heart rate
Forceful heartbeat
Profound sweating
Abdominal pain
Sudden-onset headaches — usually severe — of varying duration
Anxiety
Feeling of extreme fright
Pale skin
Weight loss

These signs and symptoms develop because this type of tumor produces an excess of chemical compounds called catecholamines. Excessive secretion of catecholamines — the hormones adrenaline (epinephrine) and noradrenaline (norepinephrine) — can lead to persistent high blood pressure or wild fluctuations in your blood pressure, depending on whether the catecholamines are released continuously or in shorter bursts. The intermittent release of these hormones can cause other symptoms to occur from time to time as well.

Also, diabetes can cause similar symptoms in alcoholics.

Sorry, just read through the back posts and it seems she is your sister. My thoughts still hold.

Don't minimize "panic attacks". I fought going on meds for this because I don't like to take anything but my Dr. told me it's no different than a diabetic taking insulin or similar.

He told me panic attacks are chemical inbalances that can be brought on by a series of tramatic events. Whether or not that holds true for her the bottom line is the attacks are real to the person suffering and devastating.

I would most assuredly get her into couseling with others who are suffering the same. No one can even begin to understand unless they have experienced it for themselves.

Also teen challenge is a great place to seek help for someone. Don't let the name fool you, there are people who are in their 40's in this program. It has a fantastic success rate and doesn't cost anything.

Hugs and prayers GG.

P.S. Do NOT let her work this out alone or hit bottom.

At 19....it's too late for parents to teach her anything now.
.....NOW....she's going to learn life the hard way.

Drinking like this is also GENETIC many times.
You parents should have had a clue WAAAAAAAAAAAAAy before this.

Too late.

The problem probably stems from the relationship with the father.

The father needs to reestablish the relationship and make her know he cares about her, if there is a problem here.

The Combination of all --Zepam Drugs, like DiaZepam, Flunitrazepam and Clonazepam is very dangerous and killed countless People already!

And the Combination makes even the hardest Drug User unbelievable Stupid, Sick!

Both Drugs multiply the Effects of each other!!!

So what? If she is out of control and a danger to herself involuntary commitment is the only thing that will help at this stage. Her behavior is screaming for someone to help her and if she can't control herself then that is what involuntary commitment is for. In some areas they do have various intervention programs where she is confronted by family, friends and someone from a program to take her into some type of rehab. The problem is the meds she is on combined with alcohol. She needs medical supervision and most likely needs to get off the meds. Therefore, she needs to detox and also confront her disease (because that is what alcoholism is - a medical condition). It is her responsibility to manage her illness and she needs to learn the coping tools on how to do this. It's unlikely at this stage of the game that she can do this on her own.

Her parents need to talk to the counselor and work up a plan of action.

Last Edited by Proud American Supporter on 02/20/2013 09:53 AM

buy her some vodka and leave her alone.:-)

I have learned from experience, you can't help someone if they are not ready for help. Sad, but true.

Hypnosis and homeopathy also work great for addictions if she does not want to go to rehab, but she would have to want to go see a hypnotist or a homeopathic practitioner. But yet again...you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped.

Sometimes people have to hit bottom before they see they are in trouble.

And she's young...at 19, people think they are invincible.

You could put her name on the White Light Express prayer list....it's free. Studies have shown that having people pray long distance for others really does work.

Girl doesnt need medication. She sounds normal enough with nagging parents who expect too much. Leave her be...just send messages of love and that you will be there when she's over her shit phase. No more nagging.

PFFFPHt...cant blow a bigger raspberry. That is bullshit. You ng adults dont need God...they need common sense...which will hit in about age 21...when the brain has grown sufficiently.

The thing is.....if young people act up and throw away what they have been doing....it is usually a sigh that theyare trying to GROW UP. They cant do that if they stay the same. They need time out from parents. The ONLY time meds are useful is if the child has a mental imbalance...like schitzophrenia. If the child has normal thinking but are sad, grieving, over-worked, stressed, trying to escape from parental control...meds are VERY bad...because it causes imbalance when there was none. If they get hospitalised for this....THAT will follow them around for the rest of their life....with any future jobs/partners etc SO DONT!

That is what makes this look suspicious from a medical aspect-the sudden, intense,onset of out of control drinking without the usual alcoholic spiral. Most kids start by stealing drinks and progress slowly-heck, every person here that drinks can tell you how they started drinking. But a two week blind drunk bender right out of the gate is a bit abnormal.

She's a goner.

Move on.

this ^^ benzodiazepine drug is TOXIC in combination with alcohol, potentially fatal.

also this combo is dangerous because more likely she will make bad decisions that cause her private (hopefully not public) humiliation, and this may also contribute to depression or loss of face--depression.

First, she must choose her poison, alcohol or anxiety meds--not both together!

Then as others are saying, lower the expectations, give her time to wake up--no pressure.

Finally, encourage her to acknowledge she has genetic weakness for alcohol. Such a person has no control when drinking and must totally abstain, even if it means quitting again every day she wakes up.

Best of luck to you. Give her love, and hope.

Sounds like one of those people who have to hit rock bottom first, and nobody can do anything about what she is doing until she herself wants to help. Legally, no one can do a thing.

Let her hit rock bottom, then try to help her up. Trying to help her now will just be very stressful, costly, and not really help fix the underlying issue.

Alanon is all that can be done.

In the light of recent events, call anyone except Dr.Drew...

Whats the depression about? have you asked her? That would be the first step.

Depression can be cause by a number of things.

1. genetic - runs in the family

2. child molestation goes un-noticed and unreported as most kids don't say anything

3. it can be unfocused anger turned inward directed against self

4. it can just be the age

5. it can be the result of not successfully making the transition from child to adult

6. it can be the result of drugs or alcohol

7. it can be the result of a relationship gone wrong

8. it can be the result of becoming sexually active prematurely or having multiple partners

9. it can be the result of a food allergy

10. it can be the result of some early or current emotional or physical trauma

11. it can be the result of faulty negative thinking

12. it can be the result of a biochemical brain imbalance

13. it can result from just hanging out with friends who are downers as depression can be transferred from one to another

14. it can be cause by lack of sunlight (seasonal affective disorder SAD) one relative had to sit in front of full spectrum lights 30 minutes every morning because his brain doesn't produce the right chemicals on it's own. The additional light prevents depression.

15. it can be caused by a hormonal imbalance

16, it can be caused by inflamation of the brain or an illness of some nature

It would help to know the cause. When I had a patient like this it helped to do a medical work up first to make sure this isn't the cause followed up by an in-depth personal family history. Depression can also be cured using neurofeedback - www.roshi.com where the glasses flashing lights recalibrate brain waves

Last Edited by Proud American Supporter on 02/20/2013 11:22 AM