NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.

Wow! You've got alot on your plate, my friend. Bless you for loving your son. I really mean that. I'm sorry about your wife. I take it you never had other children?

I had 2 cousins that were MR. I know that's not the pc term, but it's the one I know. It WAS pc, back in the day, so people, please don't flame. My aunt was alot like your wife, except she did understand what was happening. The problem she had was letting B learn. He sounds like he was higher functioning than your son. B went to "workshop" until my aunt got mad and pulled him out. She catered to B instead of letting him do the simple things he was able to do. He could have gone to school when he was younger, too, but she refused to let him out of her sight. It made it very difficult for his sister after my aunt and uncle passed away.

Does your son still live at home or have you had to place him?

I hate to even complain.....my husband is deployed. Not his first. But it's mine. He's my best friend and ivenever felt such aching loneliness.

But who am I to complain? Seems others have it way worse than I do. Just keep my sweetheart in your positive thoughts.

It is a fact that nature normally knows best. I just hate that by his living your wife's life was destroyed. I have a Nephew in the same shape, living in a home that cares for him and others. If my brother had not made that choice, their marriage was going to fail. I feel your pain. DF

Oh, my! This seems to be my night for it! If I was truly paranoid, I'd get worried!!LOLOL

Honey, it's ok to complain. I've done my share of it! I was a military wife for 30 years. I understand. What's good, is now, y'all have e-mails and better phone service. Usually. When I was first married, it was letters that took 2 weeks to get there and timed 5 minute phone calls.

I won't ask where he's gone. Don't tell. There are lots and lots of mil wives on this forum. One day soon, I think I'll make a thread for mil families. Staying home is hard. You don't have any info, other than the news and what he can tell you. Are you near the base? If you are, get yourself to one of the groups there. You'll find a ton of support. You'll find the usual catty people too. Just ignore them. If you're not near a base, find another group that can encourage you. Maybe something connected to a hobby. Or, do like some did in my small town. Put together a group of people to make care boxes to send to the troops. It's helped the families here stay in touch with others that are going through the same things and sent gifts to the troops.

Honey it is hard. I know I did two tours overseas and had to leave the wife home. I know it was hard on her. Stay strong my dear one, stay strong. DF

Great advice.

The group in my town has some retired military, some moms, grandmas, some wives, all kinds of people. They started out with an ad in our little newspaper to see if there was interest. There was, there was a need. They started just putting boxes together a couple of times a month. Now, they've turned into a REAL support group! It's been awesome, watching them grow.

Awesome . Plus a thread for military wives is a great idea. DF

Well it helps to hear your story! We don't have kids together, and the step kids live very very far away. I try to stay involved with our family groups but im the odd one out without kids. I hold on to the love I have for him and I keep a worry basket lol. It's gonna be full of money when he gets back. I just miss him so badly. But I'm very proud of him. Thank you for your story.

I've been thinking about it for awhile. I was waiting and watching to see if it was needed. I think it's about time. Unfortunatly.

You're very sweet. He's been amazingly supportive, which isn't really his job lol. I do my best to be supportive. I'm anxious for the day he returns. He's a career guy, but this is my first rodeo. I try hard but I miss the living hell out of him.

A worry basket! I like it! I had little ones, when my husband deployed. Several times. Don't worry about not having kids at the groups. Just don't get sucked into the babysitting nightmare!LOL I DID, even with my kids! Remember how to say NO when you need/want to. Seriously. If you want to help, ok, but you don't have to and they WILL run you over!

Hang on to that love. You'll cry, you'll yell into the mirror, you'll do all kinds of things. That's ok. Yell. Cry when you need to. Don't be embarrassed about it. Just do it. It's healthy. Don't bottle it up, that's not good. Once you've had your fit, go do something you want to do. Come back and talk whenever!

Texan buckeye you are a good and amazing soul.

I was career myself, retired now. Hey champ, visit us often we will keep you company, good company. Our hearts are with you kiddo. DF

Oh, baby, you make ME cry!! Nah, I'm a bitch on wheel's, just ask my family! I'm VERY protective of my friends and family. People worldwide have learned that, to their downfall!

When I get around to making the military family thread, I'll post a link on DF's thread to let you know. Come and talk here whenever you want. There are a lot of kind people here.

*edit* I USED to be a walking dictionary. Now, not so much. Not liking that.

Last Edited by Texan Buckeye on 04/07/2013 11:05 PM

Yes she is, and there are more on here just like her. Enjoy them, they truly care and are great counselors.

I wish I knew how to do smilies. I'd get you for making me blush, DF!!LOL

Well you and Desert Fox have officially made me cry, but in a good way. It's easy to feel lonely in this world and during this time. I love and respect what he does, and what many others have done before....including my grandfather. Rough men stand ready to do violence.....

Both of your service is acknowledged and appreciated :)

I learned this quote somewhere along the line as a teen. It has always stuck with me. I think I'll put it in my sig. Just remember...They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton.

I learned it...They also serve who stay at home and wait. Either way, it's a good one to hang on to.

i make 3500 a month. so i have about 2200 in bills.
prices in last 4 years gone up and i had 3 kids in meantime. bills went up to 2800-2900. now food gone up and im gone into 10,000 debt from zero debt in 8 months. buying dicount food etc now but it has so much more sodium etc lol than "name brand" food. (see soups in the store on labels)
feels like a trap to live. you try to make a family and be happy. well learn from me.

Thanks, and believe me your tears are not the first to soak my shoulders. Feel free. DF

CHEER UP DARLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know the details of your situation, but it sounds like you've got some serious budgeting to do. I've been in a similar situation, when the bills were more than the income. It's not a good place to be, especially if you have kids. My best advice for you is to find someone that can sit down with you, go over ALL of your bills and help you get a handle on paying them back. It can be done, but it's hard work and it is NOT fun for a few years. Good luck.

Seems like everyone I talk to has the same story. People you'd least expect if from too, so know you're not alone.

The bright side is that you have 3500 a month more than many people and you have a family. A wife? Children? You're very rich my friend, because they are the greatest treasure a person can have.

It's hard to see or appreciate it when going through a rough stretch, and so many marriages don't make it through financial difficulties. If you can keep yours together when times are bad, you're so much farther ahead than half the population.

Do you or your wife cook from scratch? Home
cooking? You can save a whole lot of money on food and the healthier eating may even save on medical bills. If you don't know how, learning will pay for itself many times over. There are some threads here about frugal cooking that you or your wife might enjoy.

Whenever you're feeling down, look at those beautiful children and know they are watching you when you don't know.

Anyone can make it in good times. In bad times, it takes a strong person. Your children will notice that strength. Hang in there. Some day, you'll know it was all worth it.

Here's a good place to find someone to help you [link to www.creditcounsellingcanada.ca]

You know what really sucks? Being the leader of a large corporation where everyone looks up to you to provide some sort of prosperous direction for growth when you just don't have it in you.

The employee's and shareholders want change and have a company prospectus which they were sold on and so expect results. But as the leader of this company I just don't have anything to offer that wasn't offered before.

I have a fairly inflexible picture of where i'd like to see the company go but unfortunately many who may have benefited from the products in the past will be unable to do so in the future.

I was grandfathered into this position and wasn't really given a choice as to whether i wanted it or not. Don't get me wrong I liked the idea of running a huge corporation at first being able to call shots and make decisions that would affect the entire customer base, which is HUGE, btw.

But now it would seem the thrill is gone and all i'm left with is a bunch of irritated and pissed off employee's and expectant customers who want to see new and improved products and better wages.

All I can seem to do now is piss of the help and that is no way to run a company. Funny thing is there is no suitable replacement and if there were could they be trusted to be effectual?

Myself personally, I just want to retire with my family and live out the rest of my days in obscurity and hope to reestablish a friendship i once had but lost due to a few shady business dealings.

My days are pretty boring and i spend them teaching new management staff about the secrets of running a large business. Most haven't a clue with what i'm trying to teach them but i feel compelled to tell them the what was told to me many years ago.

Some say that you need to have passion to run a business this large and personally i agree. I just don't have a passion to do anything other than what i've been doing - which is the bare minimum.

I often grapple with the idea of dissolving the business but then that would be too easy and probably more selfish than productive considering how many people would be out of a job and all the customers who would feel cheated.

At any rate, that's my whine anyone got any cheese?

Yep, cheese AND crackers. I have to admit, I've never had your problem. I've owned a small (really small) business, so I understand your feelings, just not the scope of the problem. I didn't have employees, just the wrong business partner. I think I can understand the responsibility that you feel. I wish I had some experience with this. All I can say, is you know in your heart what needs to be done. What you need to do is find a way to do it. Maybe it's just time to sell. Idk. Good luck, hon. You can't be successful if you don't like what you're doing anymore.

What a hideous situation to be in. You sound miserable. Is there anyone you could trust to take over your job while you took a leave of absence and had some time away? Sometimes that will give a fresh perspective.

Way ta go, quick fingers.

(In my lousiest Rodney Dangerfield voice) I get NO respect!LOLOLOLOL

I think a thread would be good idea, too. Great advice too, Texan! All the best to you, 1083. I haven't been in the position you are Texan have been in, but I know it must be difficult. Thank you to your husband for his service, along with DF and others who have served.