Soccer-Moms cannot cook worth shit! FUCK YOU! DO NOT USE YELLOW CHEESE ON PIZZA!!!!!!

Not. Homemade potato chips dipped in ranch are awesome.

Calling those sandwich slices cheddar is an insult to cheddar cheese.


And Hotdogs on a pizza ? wtf they should be shot.

I don't think OP could get a soccer mom if he hung a cheddar cheese pizza around his neck. That is what he is made about. He has the hots for soccer moms but alas, can't get one to save his life.

And thus began Barry's search for an Eastern European bride. One that could cook. And didn't put hot dogs, on pizza.

Just tell them to buy Trader Joes four cheese Italinan Organic pizza....and not to overl cook.

Yum.

And yes, women today can not cook...this is true.

LOL. If cooking is so high on a man's list maybe he should have his prospective wife cook for him for a few weeks. Make that priority number one over sex. But most guys go for sex first and then completely overlook exactly who the woman is. If you really like her and she has problems in the kitchen area then send her to cooking classes. Make sure she really likes to cook though and you won't get any surprises. You might have to marry a heavier woman though who appreciates good food. Skinny model types don't eat much so no need for cooking. Choose wisely.

the OP prefers dickcheese.

Duh!!

I SO feel this guy's rant I am older than the soccer mom, but I hate when women "phone it in" to make a meal.

ie. when you make a chicken caesar salad:

1. buy chicken breast on the bone from a reputable butcher who buys from reputable farms, season and sear on both sides for 3 minutes, then cook in cast iron fry pan for 15 mins at 350 degrees, you can buy rotisserie chicken but understand you are buying an abused, battery chicken

2. buy romaine hearts, or at least, put the outer greener leaves in the blender for smoothies later

3. make your own caesar dressing, it is REALLY not that hard. eggs. oil. garlic. seasoning.

4. get real parmesan cheese, not the crap in the green container that Kraft sells

5. you can make really nice croutons with a multi-grain mini-loaf toasted in small slices with some garlic butter and (real) parmesan

6. there's this thing in the grocery store called bacon, cook a few slices and break it up - the thing in the plastic container called Real Bacon is NOT real bacon. and also.. simulated bacon is not ACTUALLY bacon

<that felt good>

They are too busy working bringing in that second paycheck that many men demand. So there is not much time left to actually cook for a family. Guys, if you want the woman who cooks and cleans etc then work two jobs so she can do this. And make sure before you marry her what you expect of her. Don't just surprise a non-cooking woman with a list of culinary demands.

Also, men of the family, you might just want to cut out too many kid sports if you want a meal. Those sports take up A LOT of time and energy.

love me some Chef John.

Millions of guys pretending

Life and Wife was good to Barry for several months. Passionate lovemaking. Coy house games, like when she prepared authentic Americanized Pizza sans Cheddar Cheese. She didn't feel the need to gad about town in an SUV. She abhorred christian pop music. After several months of bliss together, she even prepared Barry's favorite dish wearing nothing but an apron. Her shoulder length hair gliding like silk over her beautiful bare skin.

She said "Barry, I love you. My life is perfect. I want to be able to show my mother and brother how happy you make me. They are traveling through the USA. I could ask them to stop in with your permission."

... Barry now enjoys a cell with bubba and likes grocery surplus cheddar dogs cooked in biscuits at his new home. All food must be finger food, as utensils are frowned upon. Turns out, what he thought was his brother-in-law was not a brother at all, and had considerable problems with the law. But he did get to meet his brides' two nephews and a niece. They were participating in club football exchange tour here in the states.

The best meals are simple and inexpensive and can be prepared together.

It's fun and very......

Schools changed the focus on home economics classes in lieu of sports..

Bad decision.

Athletics......damn near worthless in real life.

Pizza Pizza

Cheeseburger cheeseburger

I tried cheddar cheese once on home made pizza crust and sauce and it was gross. Never again. I even try putting it in mac and cheese and it never turns out right. Cheddar cheese only taste good on grilled cheese sandwiches and tacos.

^^^^THis

I Havent laughed this hard all month!

My god...no words on this topic...




It's funny because its true.

Your disappointment is based upon the sad fact that you cannot make a souffle, a few little cheese straws or even a "Welsh Rabbit." Without a real cheddar sharp enough to bite your palate and dry enough to blend into your spirits, all the above cannot exist.

Sounds delicious!

Cheddar is a good cheese. Not good for pizza. Kinda like hotdogs with pineapple.

OP is a FAG
please go to hell and live

Just remember kids: pizza is junk food and you shouldnt eat it too often.
Mostly green veggies, protein, and highly quality fats like olive oil and avacadoes are where it is at.

gee, thanks mum

When real doom comes, you'll gobble up the hot dog/cheddar pizza like it was mana from heaven.

gee tanks dud

Agree. And schools really need to bring back home ec for both sexes. Shop class also was ditched and needs to be brought back.